What Happens When the Party is Over,
The Beer Runs Out,
And You Wake Up?

Delivered in 2003 at Purdue University

Rev. Dr. Stuart C. Lord

I. INTRODUCTION

Hello Purdue, It is great to be here in Indiana speaking with you today. Now some of you are here because you want to be; some of you are here because have to be. Some of you are here because you think you should be. I am here because I want to talk to you about the great opportunities available to you as a member of a Greek Organization. To begin with I want to tell you a little about my self. I am not just another administrator. I am not a speaker that travels the country making a living talking to Colleges about fraternities. I am an advocate for Greek Life on Campuses. In my nearly 16 years of working in higher education I have worked with Greek organizations on all levels. I have served as an advisor to fraternities and sororities. I have been sought out by many Greek leaders while working at DePauw and Dartmouth. I recently attended a Greek Leadership School retreat. I am a member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity. I am passionate about Greek Life on Campuses.

II. THE CHALLENGE

The problem that we face today is that most people join Fraternities and Sororities because they want to party. The initial desire to meet new people, have fun, and form true friendships has been overshadowed by the desire to party, drink beer, and act irresponsibly. The results are that the faculty, College President and Administrators have come to see Fraternities and Sororities more as a risk rather then an asset. The "Animal House" Phenomenon has swept the country and has destroyed the true potential of Greek organizations.

III. NEGATIVE IMAGES

In preparing for this presentation I surveyed over 100 college campuses across the U.S. I surveyed Dean's, Students (Greek and non-greek), faculty, staff, and other various administrators. I asked them to provide me with 10 negative perceptions of Fraternities and Sororities.

Some of their responses stated that Fraternities and Sororities:

anti-academic
encourage date rape and violence against women
encourage hazing of their own members

Q: Is that Brotherhood?

reinforce destructive masculine/feminine stereotypes
are modern day drinking clubs

Q. Is that why you joined a Greek organization?

"buy" their friends
promote unhealthy gender roles
complete community service only to satisfy administrative expectations.
should be abolished.
Fraternities perpetuate cheating.

Q. Is that why you joined a Greek organization

Homophobic
Racist
Elitist
Encourages alcohol abuse and alcoholism

Q. Is that why you are in a Fraternity?

Encourages sexism and sexual assault
Are for rich kids.

Q. Are these things true, Yes or No?

All these things point to the fact that social programs now totally dominate the culture of most undergraduate Greek chapters. I searched the websites of your universities Greek organization and saw very little pictures that had anything to do with things other than social life on campus. Most photos were of parties, formals, and general membership. If this is all that you are marketing, then you have a problem.

IV. THE DANGER OF PARTYING AND NOT WAKING UP.

A. Administration is not acting, it is that you are allowing them to take away Greek organizations.

B. Standards are High. Those standards are set by your Founders . You need to wake up. If you don't wake up, Your house will:

get bulldozed and becomes a Parking lot or a shopping mall.
become an office of Campus Security
become a campus Club
become a theme house
lose its Charter
Date rape becomes a problem
Alcohol and drugs become a problem.

C. Do you want that to happen?

Is that why you joined the fraternity?
Is this what sisterhood is?
Is this what brotherhood is?

D. You will come back in 10 years looking for your house and all that is left is a garden.

E. Furthermore, there is danger in not waking up as an individual.

If you do not wake up, you will destroy your potential.
Your potential to become a leader in this community
I want everyone here to close your eyes right now.
I want you all to close your eyes and begin to think.
Think about your college experience thus far.
I want you to think back to when you were freshmen and see that young adult with such high aspirations.
With all the potential and desire in the world.
What happened to that person?
I believe that person is still there. You still have all those desires and all the potential you had when you first got here.
No one can take away your full potential.
No one but yourself.
You allow yourself to not achieve your full potential.
I want you all to close your eyes and wait 30 seconds.
Open your eyes, and see your future. See your potential. See the opportunities ahead of you.

V. LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE - BE A LEADER.

"Commit to educating your members to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens."

A. I challenge you to fulfill your potential and be a leader in your community

Leaders act
Take action within your Greek organization and turn the negative images upside down and inside-out.
Give everything you have to your fraternity or Sorority.

B. Being apart of a Fraternity or sorority affords you the opportunity to be a leader.

A Leader within your pledge class, within your organizations, but more importantly, it affords you the opportunity to be a leader on campus.
As leaders, you can be a positive force in the community.
I challenge you to leave the complacent nature of the past.
I want you to be a leader in your organizations.
I want you to develop strategic plans for the future.

C. What are the characteristics of a good leader.

Leaders need to be empathetic,
- Listen to the stories of racism and sexism and marginalization on the campus and come in tune with those that struggle to be on your campuses and provide communities of hope enthusiasm and encouragement.
Leaders need to be good Stewards - take good care of yourself.

D. Seek out the resources available to you.

Explore the talent in your house and use the marketing skills, the planning skills, those that have received diversity training, conflict resolution skills, all these skills will help you market yourselves as a leaders.

E. Your action could lead your fraternity and have a positive impact on the community.

VI. SERVE YOUR COMMUNITY

"Commit to fostering an ethic of support and care through community involvement and outreach."

A. Provide opportunities for growth and development through service.

B. As students at an institution of Higher learning, you have a responsibility to give back to the communities that have given you so much.

You live in a community that has needs.
You should not be doing service to meet some standard set by the administration.
You should not be doing service for the sake of doing service.
You should be doing service to fulfill the needs of the community.

C. Contact your community service office and give them a list of all your active members and remind them that you are here to help serve the community and they can count on your support.

Adopt a program.
Adopt a school
Get involved in mentoring
Be a Big Brother or Big Sister.
Connect with the community and become exemplars of service and leadership.
Volunteer at the local high school.
Organize a Valentines Day party with the Senior Citizens and dance with them.
Volunteer at the Homeless shelter.

VII. COMMIT TO SCHOLARSHIP

"Commit to creating an environment that promotes and encourages academic achievement and intellectual development."

A. Commit to your fraternity or sorority having the highest GPA on campus.

The collective GPAs should have the highest GPAs on campus.
Join a study group.
For every hour you party and hang out, commit to studying an equal number of hours.
Go to class.
Sit in the front row.
Ask lots of questions so when you are not there, the professor will miss you.
Take notes.

B. They say Fraternities and Sororities foster bad academics.

Prove them wrong.
Monitor the academic progress of each member.
Give out scholarship awards.

VIII. LEAD YOUR CAMPUS

"Commit to contributing to the life of the campus through participation in and support of programs and activities."

A. Many of you believe that your College, and colleges challenges across the country are trying to get rid of the Greek system and you wonder why?

It is because of all those negative perceptions I listed earlier.
In the end, they are the one's that are liable for your actions.
They are growing to see that the presence of Greek organizations is a greater risk then a benefit.
Let's be honest with ourselves.
The administration is not trying to get rid of Greek organizations.
Your negative actions are making it easy for them to take away Fraternities and Sororities.
If you become a positive presence in the community then they have no need to end the Greek system.

B. Learn how to listen to them.

If they are saying that there is too much under-aged drinking, then have some non-alcoholic events.
If they are talking about gender issues, such as rape and sexism, then host coed campus-wide discussions on the issues.
I am not telling you to stop partying and having fun.
I am just telling you that you need to balance your programming.
This may be easier said then done, but for your organizations to survive, you must change your thinking.

C. Get off the Blame train- Take responsibility, take control.

Until you take responsibility for your actions you will always be out of control.
You may have to stand up and say no, I do not think he or she is worthy of being in our organization. It is not always going to be easy. It is hard work, but you have to continue the legacy that was given to you.

D. Get involved in your campus activities.

The Student Body president should be a Greek member.
The student newspaper editors should be Greek members.
Greek members should lead campus orientation for new students.
Make sure there is not a committee on campus that does not have a Greek member.

IX. COMMIT TO NO HAZING

"Commit to fostering opportunities for personal growth for all members and honoring the dignity of all humans."

A. I am asking you today to commit to no hazing.

Many of you were the victims of hazing in one way or another.
Do you remember how it felt doing something that you knew was wrong.
Even if it was not that bad, was it a necessary part of your pledge process.

B. What are the benefits of hazing?

If you are being leaders in your community and in your fraternity and if you are being a positive force, then there is no time or place for hazing in your organization.

C. Ask MIT and LSU.

Both schools lost a brother to hazing.
Sure it was an accident, but it did not have to happen.
Two students died because of hazing, and hundreds more every year end up in emergency rooms due to hazing related activities. MIT and LSU, do you want it to be Purdue?

D. Say no.

No is a powerful word.
You can't get kicked out of the fraternity if you say no.
They need you to continue the legacy.
They need you to continue the brotherhood and their sisterhood.
You are more than a house bill.
You are more than a social bill.

X. LIVE YOUR RITUAL

"Commit to the high ideals and high morals and ethical teaching of your founders. Emulate the words such as honor, trust, respect, courage, and tolerance."

A. When your organizations were founded, they were founded on principals.

Return to those principals.
Know your history.
Honor your traditions.
Know your founding fathers and founding sisters.

B. Be proud to wear your colors.

Be proud to wear your letters.
Who here is in a Greek organization?
Who here is wearing your Fraternity or Sorority colors and letters? If you are going to a Greek event, you should be wearing your letters.

C. Have pride in how you carry yourself and how you represent your colors.

No matter where you are or what you do, it reflects on your organization.
You may not be acting as a member of the Greek organization at the time, but it will always come back to it. Honor the traditions set forth by the founding fathers.
Become your brothers and sisters' keeper
As your brothers and sisters' keeper, you may have to tell them "you have had enough to drink."
You may have to tell them "your behavior last night was not representative of what we stand for."
Tell your brother and sister when they have done something wrong that that is unacceptable.
Have procedures for helping your brother or sister change their attitude.
Have what you call attitude adjustment or reality check.
It is not cool when a fraternity man stands on a porch and a woman runs by and he looks over the balcony and says "nice tits."
Is that what manhood is all about?
What does he do after he says it, he hides behind the rail.
Women should not tolerate nor should brothers.
D. Take pride in yourself as a human being and be a good person.
Men, stand up when a woman walks in the room or when she leaves the table.
Clean the bathrooms of your fraternities.
Treat women with dignity.
Slow down and develop a relationship.
Take off your beer goggles, because when you wake up in the morning you will ask yourself, "What did I do?"
Walk her home.
What do you mean we call it the walk of shame?
She should call it the walk of joy.
If she calls it the walk of shame, than something is wrong with your relationship with her.

E. Honor your traditions with leadership, service, honor, scholarship, brotherhood, sisterhood, and having good times.

XI. STAND FOR SOMETHING

"Commit to developing integrity, honesty, and living out your values in your daily life."

A. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

As college students you are on a journey.
Trying to find what it is that matters to you.
Trying to find what kind of person you want to be.
Trying to find what defines you as a person.
It may be difficult to find what you are passionate about. Don't give up and take the easy way out.
I charge you to stand for something.
Don't compromise your values.
Take responsibility for your actions.

B. Be passionate about something.

Whether it is sports, academics, politics, service, or faith. Be passionate about something and devote your life to it.
The only way that you will be happy is if you find something that you are passionate about.
Something that no one can take from you.
Something that will push you to grow as an individual.

XII. Conclusion

A. I want you to repeat after me:

"I am only one, But I am one, I commit to
Educating my members to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens.
Fostering an ethic of support and care through community involvement and outreach.
Creating an environment that promotes and encourages academic achievement and intellectual development.
Contributing to the life of the campus through participation in and support of programs and activities.
Fostering opportunities for personal growth for all members and honoring the dignity of all humans.
The high ideals, morals, and ethical teaching of your founders. Emulate the words such as honor, trust, respect, courage, and tolerance.
Developing integrity, honesty, and living out your values in your daily life.

XIII. Results of being a liability.

If these negative perceptions of Greek organizations on College Campuses are true, then we run the risk of destroying the legacy that was passed down from the founders. Some may think "I am only here for four years, who am I to change tradition? Why should I care? I just want to have a good time."

Fraternities and Sororities were founded to develop integrity, character, and responsibility.
If the challenges are not true, then what are the benefits?
Benefits / Assets
The guiding principals form the founders.

List the things that we say that are positive.

Provides gender specific "safe" spaces on a co-ed campus.
Provides continuity and sense of belonging to a specific and smaller group or even national group.
Co-ed fraternities are inclusive and can be spaces for gender mixing and real camaraderie.
Black fraternities and sororities are truly dedicated to community service.
Fraternities give back to the community through service projects.
Fraternities play a prominent role in the campus' social options.
Open to the entire campus and always fun.
Promotes bonding and friendships between upper and under classmen.
Does more than just drink, like community service, programming, and in-house events.
Not all fraternities are so bad.
Fraternities fill a void in a community without fun social outlets.
Fraternities provide anchors through their traditions.
Fraternities are an important source of networking for jobs.
Fraternities often have the best social spaces.
Fraternities offer freedom and independence from administrative intrusions.
The sense of brotherhood is invaluable.
The Greek system is a good way to meet people.
The Greek system is a way to make life long friends.
Greek houses are involved in numerous community service operations and Greek members frequently volunteer more than non-Greeks do.
The Greek system gives students an opportunity to take leadership roles among their peers.
The Greek system provides social activities for students.
The Greek system provides members with a variety of activities like intramural sports, study sessions, lectures, etc.
Most Greek houses encourage and reward good grades and other positive accomplishments.