The Commandment of Friendship
Text: John 15:12-17
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.
Culturally, the views taken of friendship vary quite widely. For instance, people differ over the number of friends one should have, as well as the depth one should expect in friendships. In America, we value having a wide and warm network of friends, but are often critiqued for being too shallow. In Germany, by way of contrast, most people have only one or two friends; they share their lives deeply with their friends, but have little interest in warmth outside of those relationships. My in-laws, for instance, were on one occasion woken up at 12am in Germany by their neighbors, who were concerned because my father in law's van was still parked on the street, and not in the garage, as would be proper. They were quite personal, but not terribly warm!
Additionally, we can differ over the communal nature of friendship. Again, in the U.S., friendships tend to be very individualized, from one person to one other person. In Germany most social interactions take place in a group context, even dating. My wife, who grew up in Germany, has wondered at how her childhood friends ever came to marry, since there was no apparent opportunity for the bride and groom to have spent any time exclusively together!
The biblical view of friendship, however, stands in contrast to both of these situations. In Genesis 2, Adam enjoys friendship with God, but is also lonely. This shows us that not only were human beings made to know God, but to know Him communally, and our deepest relationships will emerge in that shared experience.
We recognize this friendship dynamic even outside of the spiritual realm, as our best friendships tend to be about something, and not merely wrangling over the relationship itself. However, our sinful tendency is to turn our friendships towards a selfish or mercenary end. Our shared interests become too small to truly and deeply bring us together. In his book, Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Human love makes itself an end in itself. It creates itself an end, an idol which worships, to which it must subject everything. It nurses and cultivates and ideal, it loves itself, and nothing else in the world. Spiritual love, however, comes from Jesus Christ, it serves him alone; it knows that it has no immediate access to other persons" (Life Together p. 35)
Our text is part of what is essentially a farewell discourse from Jesus to His followers, and we see Jesus commanding and setting conditions on friendship. Earlier in this chapter Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches," and commands that they abide in Him. In other words, it is not merely the friends who are in view, but also the object of their friendship. Not only this, but their status as friends with Christ is predicated on their obedience to His commandments. His followers, in fact, continued to refer to themselves as servants after this: "Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus..." (Philippians 1:1 ).
However, more than mere obedience and service are in view here. Although they are commanded and appointed, chosen and not choosing, Jesus does call these people His friends, and does so on the basis of "knowing what the master is doing." Additionally, His command is based on the love with which He has loved them, and bases their love on His friendship with them. The Great Commandments, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself have become "Love one another as I have loved you," placing both Christ and His love squarely in the middle of this new community. I would like to explore here three questions about the text.
How has Jesus loved them?
His very presence is an act of love, for He is God come to earth in fellowship with sinful human beings. While they deserve His judgment, and will all the more when they desert Him hereafter, He forebears and lives a life oriented to loving and serving them. This was scandalous to many at the time, especially since Jesus did not shun the openly sinful men and women of his time. He has also promised them a future with Him and the Father, as well as supernatural help in the meantime.
What do they know that makes them His friends?
They are engaged with Jesus even at this point in pursuing God's work of restoration and reconciliation. The good news is preached to the poor, and they have already begun the creation of a new community; where Israel had 12 tribes, Christ has now appointed 12 apostles. The know the good news that the kingdom has drawn near and is breaking in through Christ, though the full implications escape them for now.
What didn't they know?
While the disciples expected a political restoration, Christ came with spiritual kingdom, realized primarily relationally. They utterly failed to anticipate the agency of the reconciliation, accomplished through the alienation, death, and condemnation of Christ Himself in the place of sinners. Christ is, in other words, the God-man whose friendship is despised and whose friends desert Him. Rather than taking vengeance, He instead bears God's judgment in our place and continues to give His own love, power, and privilege to us in exchange.
Conclusion
"Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Chris in which we may participate. The more clearly we learn to recognize that the ground and strength and promise of all our fellowship is in Jesus Christ alone, the more serenely shall we think of our fellowship and pray and hope for it" (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together p. 30).
Acts 2:42-47
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."
Application
Get out of your own private interest; the more you grow in the knowledge and love of Christ, the more powerful your friendships will become. There is also a need to be proactive about seeking God and true Christian friendship. As Tim Keller has said, "Do you just go around saying, 'Air, how wonderful is air!' No, you think about air when you're underwater." Likewise, we tend think about our need for friends when it's too late." Seek those who share your love of Christ.
Christ is compelling because of the unique foundation for friendship and love towards enemies and outsiders. The health of Christian friendship is gauged in part by how it benefits those on the outside, both by commending Christ and serving their needs.
Ephesians 2:11-22
Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called "the uncircumcision" by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands-- remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
