was fortunate enough to have trip leaders that taught my trippees and me to play pong. Not every ‘13 will be as lucky. Lucky is, however, a relative term. My first night on campus consisted of a pong reunion. Once I, a relatively naïve freshman who did not have the luxury of knowing anything about pong ahead of time (through an older sibling, Dimensions host, older friend, etc), was able to finally grasp the rules on the fateful Monday night, it was time for me to promptly go home, boot a little, and pass out.

We at the Free Press thought that it might be useful for you all to have a slightly better understanding of pong than we did going into the game. Remember though, knowing the rules and knowing how to play are two different things. Be patient, eventually it will all make sense. Until then, use those brains that got you into this fabulous Ivy League institution for something useful: studying pong rules.

The history of pong is unclear. There is no official story; however, in combining various house legends a brief history of pong unravels itself. Pong started in the fifties as slam pong with two cups. The paddles had handles and the game was much faster. Then, as Dartmouth College began to accommodate women, it was only appropriate that Dartmouth’s drinking game changed as well. Women did not enjoy the fast-paced two-cup pong game and the more arched variety began to become popular. Starting in the early eighties houses developed their own games such as tree, ship, and death.

Pong rules vary house by house. However, there are a few basic concepts that are universal on this campus.

The Paddle

The pong paddle is nothing more than a regular ping-pong paddle with the handle broken off. People break the handles off in different ways. My favorite method is holding the paddle on a flat surface (i.e. the benches that line various basements) with the handle hanging off and then stepping off the handle, breaking it just at the jointing. People have various preferences based on the amount of sand paper that they like on the paddle’s face. Some people enjoy brand new paddles while others enjoy more well-worn paddles. But there does seem to be a consensus on the fact that a paddle without any sand paper is all-bad. Paddles over time start to split—try to avoid playing with a split paddle. They are just no good.

The Ball

Balls on this campus are pretty generic. When looking for a ball look in crevices, cupboards, under tables, in the ceiling, basically anywhere bizarre where members of the house will brilliantly think of hiding the ball. In truth, most of the time, the hiding spots are pretty obvious. Most pong players are willing to play with just about anything that is not cracked or broken. A pong ball that is broken will start to bounce oddly. Balls and cracks tend to go hand in hand at the end of the night. More often than not, a broken pong ball is lit on fire and then thrown onto the ground. Don’t worry, the fire self-exterminates.

The Table

Pong tables vary in size house by house. Methods of construction are also variable as some houses build in the legs on their tables and others opt for the more economical version- stolen trash cans from dorms or a slightly more upscale saw horse contraption. Dividers (the “net”) vary as well—they can include wood, broom handles, or even, occasionally, people (not recommended, but hilarious if tried… passed out people serve best—they move the least).

The Game

Typically, two teams of two participate in the game, one at either side of the table. Each team tries to make the other team drink their entire formation (see below) through a series of hits and sinks. There are often two games played in a game of pong- the game on the table and the game between two perhaps already drunk and definitely sexually frustrated college students as one partner will try, sometimes fruitlessly, to win more than just the game of pong.

The Formation

Formations vary by house and game. Generally they consist of 8 oz plastic cups filled about 5/6 of the way full with Keystone Light. A game of shrub is seven cups; a game of tree is eleven cups. One places each formation in the center of each end of the table, determined by sight, markings on the table, or an arms length measurement. Shrub and tree are the two most common games on campus. Each is set up with the cup or two in the middle of the last row of the formation, placed set up a pong paddle’s width from the back of the table, with the stem behind it and the rest of the formation in front.

The Serve

Now that we have covered equipment and set up, it is time to address the art of play… pong play. How a serve is determined varies house by house, some houses serve Beirut-style to determine which team serves. In this manner, each team takes turns throwing the ball. When one team misses the cups and their opponent had hit the cups, the “loser” serves. At other houses where pong is considered more of a “gentleman’s game” one team will just say “we’ll go first.” There are various styles of serves, but as a freshman you will most likely just start with the generic bounce, and serve the ball to the opponent in the opposite corner of the table. And with the serve, the game begins. There are a few catches with the serve. Generally, you have three tries to hit the table. If you miss three times, drink a half. If you hit the opponents’ cups on a serve, drink a half and serve again. If you sink the opponents’ cups, depending on the house, you will drink a half or whole and serve again.

The Play

Pong play then continues, serve to serve. Each partner takes turns hitting the ball until: one, a cup is hit or two, the ball is not hit because someone missed the ball (oh! embarrassing!) or because the ball missed the table. If the ball hits a cup and you don’t save it, drink a half and replace the cup. If the ball sinks (lands inside of) the cup, you drink half and your partner drinks half and toss the cup…preferably in a trash can but in the state of disrepair that most Dartmouth basements exist in, the floor serves as a functioning trash can as well. If the ball misses the table, the person who hit the bad shot serves. If you miss the ball you serve. Play continues to alternate hit to hit, partner to partner, until the game is stopped for one of two reasons: either someone has to serve or drink.

The Hit

ARCH! ARCH! ARCH! That’s all I have to say. Hit high. Be high. If your ball is low, lows vary house by house, your opponents will call your ball low and you will have to serve again.

The Save

The save is the one time where you can hit a ball low in a return. A save is when a ball hits the cups and you hit the ball back, essentially saving your team from drinking. The save must hit the other side of the table. Save rules vary house by house, see below for more detail.

Social

A variant of pong, normally played when there are an odd number of people in a basement and the normal pong scene is simply not appropriate. Follows generic pong rules except all rules are more lax. Each person plays for themselves with their own formation and paddle. The point is not only to hit all of your multiple opponents cups but also to just keep the ball going. Slight variation- in social, often times, if the ball misses the table you can slam it into a player. If this happens, then the hit person has to drink a half. However, if they catch the ball the “hitter” has to drink a half.