Links of interest:

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said:
"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen..and replaced with exact duplicates."

Here are a few I find worth a chuckle:

• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  
• Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
  
• 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.