Benjamin Weaver
Night Smoking in Winter
Is rhyme a path to some description of what I've just seen? It is 3am. I've been up writing about the 1930 gangster film, Little Caesar. Earlier it was my plan, knowing that I might be up well into the night, to drag a chair out of my room on the fourth floor of South Mass into the little hall alcove under the fire escape window. There I would sit, reading about the origins of the Mafia and smoking my pipe. When I finished the paper, however, the importance left learning and turned gratefully and whole-heartedly to smoking. Still in shorts from our balmy room, I took up a jacket and wool cap and made for the alcove. Below the window, which opens out on hinges like a door, is a radiator that is always too hot to touch. Eight feet above the sill is a smoke detector. I did not want sirens and surly, bleary-eyed floor mates canceling my Cavendish. Instead of the chair, then, I propped open the windowpane, and minding the radiator, stepped up on the sill, into the night. Shielding the flame, I lit the pipe. The draw-puff, draw-puff struck a quick rhythm and I was pleased to find that the windowpane trapped the heat from the radiator in the alcove behind me, keeping my bare legs warm. Through puffs of smoke, I looked out onto Dartmouth. Not the Dartmouth sold on greeting cards in the bookstore for skyrocketed prices, but the ass of Mass Row in the snow. Illuminated. If ever there was an appropriate use of that word, it was here, to describe the car lot, sleigh-riding (gliding) out and away beneath me. It seemed something I'd never reach by climbing down the fire escape. The street lamps burned yellow and the floodlights white and the falling snow was only visible swarming around the points where each burned brightest. A great, bony tree clawed up a few feet or furlongs in front of me, its gnarl made elegant when viewed against the iron-blue sky of early, early morning. The Gold Coast hunched out to the sprawling left, while immediately below me (draw-puff, draw-puff) the Tucker building played farmhouse. Two snow-downed cars floated on squares of bare, black tar in the farmhouse drive. All the while, I, among the chimney sweep-stumbling, copper molded window wells, drew in cold air and snowflakes and then blew them out again as hot smoke in plumes. My tongue stung. A third-floor room in the Gold Coast winked on with a profile, then out again, a windowpane for my windowpane. Standing here, pigeon-perched and pluming, I felt closer to the old Ivy boy who I kept seeing in my peripheral vision but was only ever snowflakes around a street light . . . closer to him than Cambridge residence or a Harvard H could ever bring me. Draw-puff, draw-puff, draw-puff. I smoked and looked and smoked and smoked until the air in the bowl was cold and I realized that the puffs in front of my eyes were not smoke, but my breath in the still North.
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