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Life in Exile
After a long journey across the Urals, in which the sledges were
stalled in the snow and the cold bit brutally at the travelers,
Dostoevsky arrived at the Omsk Fortress, in Siberia. It was a cold,
hopeless, brutal place. Upon arrival, all prisoners had half of
their heads shaved and were sent to a convict's hut, which Dostoevsky
describes as an "old, dilapidated wooden construction":
In summer, intolerable closeness; in winter, unendurable cold.
All the floors were rotten. Filth on the floors an inch thick;
one could slip and fall...We were packed like herrings in a barrel...There
was no room to turn around. From dusk to dawn it was impossible
not to behave like pigs...Fleas, lice, and black beetles by the
bushel...
[Frank 76. Quoted from Pisma, I: 135-137]
But the prison's most threatening vermin was Major Krivtsov, the
despot who ran it. Krivtsov believed it was his mission to break
the prisoners' spirits. He humiliated them, terrified them, flogged
them. Dostoevsky became obsessed with a fear of being flogged. He
would linger around prisoners who had experienced the whip and ask
them to describe the pain to him in minute detail. He wanted to
determine whether he, himself, could endure it. The hardships of
prison proved to be a strain on his already-weak nerves, and Dostoevsky
found himself often in the prison hospital, suffering fits of epilepsy.
Making matters worse for Dostoevsky was the class hostility between
prisoners. The serf prisoners hated the gentlemen and took advantage
of every opportunity to seek revenge for the wrongs done to them
in the outside world. Dostoevsky describes the class hatred:
They [the peasant convicts] were coarse, ill-natured, cross-grained
people. Their hatred for the gentry knew no bounds, and therefore
they received us, the gentlemen, with hostility and malicious
joy in our troubles. They would have eaten us alive, given the
chance... {The peasants accused the gentry:] "You are noblemen,
iron beaks that used to peck us to death. Before, the master used
to torment the people, but now he is lower than the lowest, has
become one of us."
[Frank 76. Quoted from Pisma, I: 135-137]
This revelation - that the peasants hated the gentry - challenged
Dostoevsky's earlier idealization of the "simple peasant."
It also challenged his belief that man is essentially good. In prison,
Dostoevsky witnessed the abuse of the prisoners by the guards; he
also saw prisoners abusing one another. They stole from each other,
beat each other, cheated each other, and even raped each other.
But worst of all, they seemed not to feel any remorse. Dostoevsky
had believed that the peasants were spiritually superior to the
intelligentsia. He also believed in the redeeming social power of
remorse. Now he understood that he had misunderstood human nature
altogether.
Even worse, he had misunderstood himself. Dostoevsky was surprised
at the revulsion he felt towards his fellow man. In a letter, he
says:
There were moments when I hated everybody I came across, innocent
or guilty, and looked at them as thieves who were robbing me of
my life with impunity. The most unbearable misfortune is when
you yourself become unjust, malignant, vile; you realize it, you
even reproach yourself - but you just can't help it.
[Frank 105. Quoted from a letter to Mme. Fonvizina, Pisma,
I: 143]
Still, in the midst of abuse, corruption, and cruelty, Dostoevsky
experienced a change of heart. It was during Pascha,
a holiday very important to Orthodox Christianity, that Dostoevsky
found that he did indeed share something with his inmates -Russian
Orthodoxy. Dostoevsky writes about this moment in the "fictionalized
memoir" he wrote after his return from exile, Notes from the
House of the Dead:
The convicts took their prayers very seriously, and each time
they came to church each one of them would...buy a candle or contribute
to the collection. "I'm somebody, too," was what they
thought or felt as they gave it up - "everyone's equal before
God..." We took communion at early mass. When, with the chalice
in his hand, the priest cam to the words "...receive me,
O Lord, even as the robber," nearly all the convicts fell
kneeling to the ground with a jangling of fetters, apparently
interpreting these words as a literal expression of their own
thoughts.
[Fyodor Dostoevsky, House of the Dead, trans. David McDuff
(London: Penguin Books, 1985) 275]
This moment illustrates the beginning of Dostoevsky's conversion.
Once he saw the peasants as brothers in Christ, he came to believe
once again that criminals were spiritual beings, worthy of care
and capable of redemption:
Men, however, are everywhere men...Believe me, there are deep,
strong, beautiful characters among them, and what a joy it was
to discover the gold under the coarse, hard surface. And not one,
not two, but several. It is impossible not to respect some of
them, and some are positively splendid...I have lived closely
with them, and so I think I know them thoroughly. How many stories
of tramps and bandits, and in general or the dark and miserable
milieu! ... What a wonderful people ...
[Frank 77-78. Quoted from Pisma, I: 138-139]
Despite his conversion, however, Dostoevsky's belief in Russian
Orthodoxy would never be complete. As he wrote to a friend, he would
always suffer as:
...a child of disbelief and doubt...and will remain so until
the grave. How much terrible torture this thirst for faith has
cost me and costs me even now, which is all the stronger in my
soul the more arguments I find against it.
[Frank 160. Quoted from a letter to Mme. Fonvizina, Pisma,
I: 142]
Dostoevsky's prison days -- and, indeed, the whole of his life
-- would be a struggle to retain his faith both in God and in the
goodness of man.
Read on: Release and Return
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