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You May Be Asking Yourself

You may be asking yourself “is this banana actually talking to me or am I hallucinating?” My answer: who is to say? Do we actually dream at night or do…

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Signs Your Relationship With Your Parents Has Improved Since you Left For College

Your mom eagerly Skypes with you twice a week!! Your parents send you care packages on every holiday!! Your mom doesn’t snarkily correct you when you use poor grammar in…

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Decoding Dartmouth Lingo

Baker – Someone who smokes a lot of weed. Synonym: pothead Dirt Cowboy – A dangerous sex position involving a ten-gallon hat and chai tea powder mix. Farmer’s Market –…

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6 Easy Life Hacks For The Everyday

1. Be really smart. Intelligence can go a long way. It can get you into a good school. It can get you a good job. It can even make you…

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14F Essential Bucket List

The Ice Bucket: Never throw a lame pre-game again! Invite guests over to your pad to cool off with a chilly iced beverage, served with fresh ice cubes from your classy…

Hogwarts Hillel

Hogwarts Hillel

An Open Letter to Dumbledore and the Hogwarts Community: Dear Dumbledore, Hogwarts needs a Hillel House. A Hillel House would provide space for Jewish witches and wizards to engage with,…

Fake Professor Wonders How Much Longer He Can Keep Up The Charade

John Réalguy, Professor of Philosophy, has been teaching at Dartmouth for over 5 years now. While addressing a class last Monday, Réalguy could be heard saying, “You all know I’m…

The Six Aliens You Meet in College

The Sorority Alien This alien, normally a parasitic , Omega Centaurian shapeshifter just loves her sisterhood. She’s always either talking about the next mixer she’ll attend or which Sigma Nu’s…

New Art Installation So Much More Than Just A Pile of Dead Fetuses

The Hood Museum’s newest art installation, on the surface a run-of-the-mill pile of dead fetuses, has sent the art world into a frenzy surmising its full emotional and intellectual weight….

What’s Under My Bed

One sock. A monster!! DA…I mean…MOM!! Nope, sorry, that was a sweater. I forgot about this one, I used to wear it when it was cold on the boat. My…