Dartmouth Leads the Way in Fostering Inclusive Campus Environment by Removing Doors from Residence Halls

In his “Moving Dartmouth Forward” speech this Thursday morning, President Phil Hanlon announced several groundbreaking changes that will make the college safer and more inclusive in the coming years.  Foremost…


GDX Pleased to Announce Diversity of New Pledge Class

After the official conclusion of Winter Rush events last week, GDX fraternity inducted eight new brothers. President Dale Lewis, ’15, commented that all of the brothers are extremely excited to…

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Two Muffins

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says “Oh my gosh, it’s getting hot in here!” Then the other one says “Oh my gosh, a talking muffin.” To…


New Course Offerings for 15S!

Comparative Literature 77 Biggie or 2Pac? Acting 0 Unleash your inner Kristen Stewart and stare at things for a few hours with your mouth kinda open. Also fuck a vampire….


Castles in the Sand

A Short Reverie About The Serendipitous Meeting That Most Influenced The Rest of My Life I would often go down to the beach without mother or father, but with trusty…


5 Things That Are Sure to Go Viral This Winter

RSV: Respiratory Syncytial Virus or RSV is definitely gonna catch on. If people keep not washing their hands, (which they won’t) this sick respiratory tract infection is gonna be a…


Students addicted to Trivia Crack find solace in actual Crack

After weeks of insomnia and uncontrollable rage, Alexis Carter ’18 is finally on the road to recovery from her Trivia Crack addiction. What’s her secret? Actual crack. “I knew I…


9th Blitz is the Charm

Derek Roberts, ’16, excitedly announced today that he was joining the Korean Women’s Cultural Association after receiving over half a dozen Blitzes from the campus group. He commented: “As a…

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Dartmouth Voices: Free Higher-Efficiency Washing Machines only tangible improvement to college this term

“I hope this doesn’t shorten the quality time I spend in my dorm’s basement each week” – Sam Roberts ‘16 “So when will Rolling Stone’s critical articles finally start taking…


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Any names used the Fake Dartmouth publication and any other publication are either names in the public domain; names being used with permission; or are fictional. Any resemblance to real…