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Guy On Longboard Never Stops For Friendship

  According to reports from students and faculty Monday morning, a mysterious longboarder was spotted kicking his way to parts unknown, never once stopping to let nobody love him. “Once…

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How To Ask Girls About Numbers

Check out how we ask girls what their (or any) numbers are!

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Person of the Century 2013

Every spring since last spring, we’ve awarded the Annual Person of the Century Award™ to a person who has displayed outstanding achievement in the past century. This century, we are…

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DTF Cups

Dartmouth Social Cups is a new campus initiative aimed at encouraging students in dining halls to talk to one another. Drinking out of a red cup indicates that you are open…

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If Paintings Were New Yorker Cartoons

-Matt Garczynski ’14

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March Sadness

It’s April 1st. I emerge from my shelter deep underground. The world is still here. It’s over. I survived March Madness. March is a time when the male species is…

Last Supper

Last Supper Murder Mystery

INT. Banquet Hall JESUS, 32, and the APOSTLES sit eating along one side of a long table. Jesus stands. The disciples silence to listen. Jesus Friends. I tell you now…

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A Tinderer’s Log

Day 1: Just got Tinder. All my friends have been telling me to get it.  Seems sort of dumb, but I guess it could be fun. Day 2: Got my…

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What the Fuck Is Jennifer Aniston?

A custom sandwich An unfamiliar word if you’ve never read a magazine or gone to a Vince Vaughn movie and/or been alive for more than a month A Greek vegetable…

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God, The English Student

In the Beginning, the First Draft was a formless void of darkness and procrastination, until finally God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that…