New Course Offerings for 15S!

Comparative Literature 77 Biggie or 2Pac? Acting 0 Unleash your inner Kristen Stewart and stare at things for a few hours with your mouth kinda open. Also fuck a vampire….


Castles in the Sand

A Short Reverie About The Serendipitous Meeting That Most Influenced The Rest of My Life I would often go down to the beach without mother or father, but with trusty…


5 Things That Are Sure to Go Viral This Winter

RSV: Respiratory Syncytial Virus or RSV is definitely gonna catch on. If people keep not washing their hands, (which they won’t) this sick respiratory tract infection is gonna be a…


Students addicted to Trivia Crack find solace in actual Crack

After weeks of insomnia and uncontrollable rage, Alexis Carter ’18 is finally on the road to recovery from her Trivia Crack addiction. What’s her secret? Actual crack. “I knew I…


9th Blitz is the Charm

Derek Roberts, ’16, excitedly announced today that he was joining the Korean Women’s Cultural Association after receiving over half a dozen Blitzes from the campus group. He commented: “As a…

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Dartmouth Voices: Free Higher-Efficiency Washing Machines only tangible improvement to college this term

“I hope this doesn’t shorten the quality time I spend in my dorm’s basement each week” – Sam Roberts ‘16 “So when will Rolling Stone’s critical articles finally start taking…


Jack-O-Lantern Statement

Any names used the Fake Dartmouth publication and any other publication are either names in the public domain; names being used with permission; or are fictional. Any resemblance to real…


10 Pictures That Will Totally Change the Way You See the World!!!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. -LK-P ’18                

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Ethics Student Reads Textbook, Learns Cheating Is Wrong

After facing suspension charges from Dartmouth for being implicated in large scale clicker cheating plot in “Sports, Ethics, and Religion”, Jason Todd has made a revelation. “So, I ended up…