Students addicted to Trivia Crack find solace in actual Crack

After weeks of insomnia and uncontrollable rage, Alexis Carter ’18 is finally on the road to recovery from her Trivia Crack addiction. What’s her secret? Actual crack. “I knew I…


9th Blitz is the Charm

Derek Roberts, ’16, excitedly announced today that he was joining the Korean Women’s Cultural Association after receiving over half a dozen Blitzes from the campus group. He commented: “As a…

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Dartmouth Voices: Free Higher-Efficiency Washing Machines only tangible improvement to college this term

“I hope this doesn’t shorten the quality time I spend in my dorm’s basement each week” – Sam Roberts ‘16 “So when will Rolling Stone’s critical articles finally start taking…


Jack-O-Lantern Statement

Any names used the Fake Dartmouth publication and any other publication are either names in the public domain; names being used with permission; or are fictional. Any resemblance to real…


10 Pictures That Will Totally Change the Way You See the World!!!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. -LK-P ’18                

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Ethics Student Reads Textbook, Learns Cheating Is Wrong

After facing suspension charges from Dartmouth for being implicated in large scale clicker cheating plot in “Sports, Ethics, and Religion”, Jason Todd has made a revelation. “So, I ended up…

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Dartmouth Voices: Clickergate

“Wait, we had clickers in that class?”   “If it’s a religion class, can’t we just confess before the final?” “Isn’t Clicker just that social media thing with the birds?”…

Ryan Lochte

Ryan Lochte Answers the Big Questions

Are you worried about big data? No my penis is ok. Except for a little syph. Ja feel? Jeah. Thoughts on cultural appropriation? Jeah. What’s the cube root of 491169069?…

First Prostate Exam