10 Signs That You Are the Assassin of Your Friend Group

  You are great at keeping secrets. People often tell you that you are fiercely loyal. None of your clothing rustles, and all of your shoes have rubber soles. You…


Knock Knock Joke 1

  *Knock knock*   Who’s there? It’s just me, the delivery boy.   Oh, come on in. The door is locked, though.   Well, let me fix that then. Thanks!…


Knock Knock Joke 2

*Knock knock* Who’s there? Who do you think it is? Open up! Do you have a warrant?   Like I need a warrant. Do you know how many calls we…


Top 10 Buttholes on Campus

10. Jamie P. Jamie P has definitely been working on his butthole. It is so much rounder than last year.   9. Laura F. Laura F.’s butthole is looking real…


4 Times you Wished Bob Saget From Full House was Your Dad

That one time your dad forgot you at Walmart for 45 minutes. When your dad showed up drunk to your parent-teacher conference. When you came down stairs on Christmas morning…


Op Ed: Don’t Ban Branding

Recently, AD has come under fire in the national media for a branding scandal, after one new member got an infection after being branded on his buttocks.  The college has…


10 Things Only Math Majors Will Understand

Yeah, you probably won’t get these.   1.That feeling of invincibility you get every time you turn in a problem set before the deadline. 2. That feeling of hopelessness that…

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Acceptance Speech

I’m proud to accept the Marketing Professional of the Year Award and there are so many people that I would like to thank. My boss for pushing me to succeed,…


Dear Samantha

  -BP ’16


‘18 Enters TDX Basement in Search of Lifelong Friendship

Sources close to Mike Peters ’18 confirmed that the freshman entered TDX last Saturday night in hopes of forming close relationships with fellow partygoers in the fraternity’s crowded basement. “Everyone…