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Dartmouth Voices: Free Higher-Efficiency Washing Machines only tangible improvement to college this term

“I hope this doesn’t shorten the quality time I spend in my dorm’s basement each week” – Sam Roberts ‘16 “So when will Rolling Stone’s critical articles finally start taking…


Jack-O-Lantern Statement

Any names used the Fake Dartmouth publication and any other publication are either names in the public domain; names being used with permission; or are fictional. Any resemblance to real…


10 Pictures That Will Totally Change the Way You See the World!!!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. -LK-P ’18                

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Ethics Student Reads Textbook, Learns Cheating Is Wrong

After facing suspension charges from Dartmouth for being implicated in large scale clicker cheating plot in “Sports, Ethics, and Religion”, Jason Todd has made a revelation. “So, I ended up…

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Dartmouth Voices: Clickergate

“Wait, we had clickers in that class?”   “If it’s a religion class, can’t we just confess before the final?” “Isn’t Clicker just that social media thing with the birds?”…

Ryan Lochte

Ryan Lochte Answers the Big Questions

Are you worried about big data? No my penis is ok. Except for a little syph. Ja feel? Jeah. Thoughts on cultural appropriation? Jeah. What’s the cube root of 491169069?…

First Prostate Exam
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In Act of Retaliation, Rick Perry and His Band of Butt Pirates Lay Siege To Dartmouth

Rick Perry, insulted by provocative questions on Sunday, retreated to his Texas Ranch and rallied his merry band of Butt Pirates together to exact revenge. The large group has now…


Dartmouth Alumni Magazine Apologizes to Women of Color For Not Knowing They Were On Their Period

Dartmouth Alumni Magazine apologizes they offended many people in the Dartmouth community for publishing a letter to the editor that told women of color to not complain about injustice. They…