Who Killed JFK? : Box Magic

By “T.J. Morris,” a man who believes computers are powered not by electricity, but by the fact that they are shaped like a box RECENT EVIDANCE in Scientific Community, regarding…

Who Killed JFK? : Killer Bees

By Baron von Honeymoore, a deranged beekeeper Dear readers, I bring you distressing news: this is for the people who demand the truth at WHATEVER COST.  I have dedicated the…

Paula Deen’s Tupperware Party

It was a new day in the Deen household and the sun shone like a mustard stain on the blue apron of the sky.  Paula heard the call of the…

Forlorn Love Poems by Artists Who Didn’t Deserve Those Girls in the First Place

#1: The Writer Beautiful Beautiful like the smile of a child With a deadly disease. Beautiful like a lone flower growing In an Antarctic wasteland. Beautiful like the pictures I…

6 Quick Tips to Lose Weight and Stick it to that Bitch, Julie Sanders

1.       Get Motivated: Poor body image can lead to vicious cycles of low self-esteem and weight problems so to get motivated and show up that skinny whore, start your day…

Choose Your Own Redwall Adventure: A Book By Brian Jacques

For each of the sections below, choose one option. Combine to create the ULTIMATE REDWALL ADVENTURE! Long ago, when the woods of Mossflower were young, a small Mousemaid Lusty young…

A Short Explanation of “Psychology”

You know how they say we only used 10% of our brain? Call me old fashioned, but I like to think we don’t use a single bit of it. My…

Opposite Day

By Julie Fiveash ’13

So You’re Going to Rob A Bank

So you’ve decided to rob a bank. Congratulations. You made a lot of sacrifices getting here. You probably cut eyeholes in a sock. Watched your friend’s copy of Snatch because…