Sherlock Brolmes, Frat Detective: Part III

The next time I saw Sherlock Brolmes, he was doing the Walk of Shame across the Green, wearing nothing but a deerstocker. He had texted me earlier simply with “PNTS.”…

Don’t Drop the Soap

“Don’t Drop the Soap”

A Series of Progressively Worse Decisions

You buy stock in the Housing Market …from a homeless man …who will only accept his own semen as payment You shoplift …a book …from Good Will …that book is…

7-Eleven Protest

In support of our print issue, The Dartmouth New Frontiersmen, we went out to the Green and protested the evil government conspiracy that is 7-Eleven! Click here to view our…

Sherlock Brolmes: Frat Detective, Part II

“COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU AAAAAHHH!!!” screamed Sherlock Brolmes as he took a sledgehammer to the wooden wall of Zeta Zeta Zeta’s basement, looking for their stolen composite picture….

15 Names for Dartmouth Herds

There are many names for groups of animals that are freaking ridiculous. A gaggle of geese. An army of frogs. A raft of ducks. A troubling of goldfish. A business…

O, To Be A Mortician!

O, To Be A Mortician! O Loveliest of Lives! O Sweetest of Dreams! To be a mortician, and spend my night frolicking in the palaces of embalmment, listening to The…

Sherlock Brolmes: Frat Detective, Part I

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?” screamed Sherlock Brolmes into his cell phone before flinging it across the room in a drunken rage. “Another black North Face jacket?”…