A Limerick or Three

1. There once was a Jacko weekly, Finished, but so very meekly, Just awful it was, Especially ’cause, They’re usually written so chicly. 2. Thinking the Rapture was coming, I…

5 Things You Didn’t Know About the Rapture

1. The Rapture has two drinking games: (Easy version): drink every time the world ends. (Hard version): drink every time the world doesn’t end 2. How we prepared for the…

Bible Studies

by Natta Goodman In light of the recent non-apocalypse, I have turned to the bible to seek solace in a world torn apart by religion.  I was surprised to learn that…

A Conversation Between: DDS Employees

(A long, long silence, as Angelo and Brumhilda hover over vast trays of mashed potatoes and turkey. No students are in sight, despite the fact that it is 6:30. Angelo…

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Buy Keggy Shirts!

We’ve got shirts with Keggy on them! Buy one for your friend! Buy two for your friend! Buy four for your friend! Buy five for your friend! Make your friend…

5 Things that will happen to you on Green Key Weekend

1. The phrase “Green Key” will start sounding an awful lot like “Drinking.” As in, “I LOVE GREEN KEEEEEY!” 2. You watch a ’99 alum complete a Dartmouth Decade… of…

33 Things I’ve Learned at Dartmouth

1.  Winning a thunderdome is always a pyrrhic victory. 2.  This doesn’t mean it is not worth undertaking. 3.  Develop a frivolous crush on at least one person in each…

This Week at FoCo!

Monday: in honor of Green Key Weekend, we present a retro dish our alums are sure to enjoy: leftover chicken from 1976! Topped with tons of (maybe) fresh  gravy! ***Have extra…

1953: A Fable

Grayson and Hannah approached hesitantly the newly finished entrance to the Class of 1953 Commons.  It was decorated with all of their favorite foods: the walls were covered with a…

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Sherlock Brolmes: Frat Detective, Part V

After several minutes of lost hope, I caught his scent once more: a faint, but discernible trail of footprints. I deduced that his shoes had been dampened by the recently-sprinklered…