Weaponry for the Homemaker

We’ve all been there. You have a lot of old artillery and torture devices just lying around between wars and you just can’t figure out what to do with them….

An Epistle From MC Poopy Pants

Yonder Listeners, Hi-ho! It be I, MC Poopy-Pants! I scribe to thee to inform of an upcoming jobbly-jank at the local discotheque. I is performing the most street-liest of jams…

An Occurrence at Omega Phi Fraternity

Portions of this story, as well as the entire premise, have been taken from Ambrose Bierce’s “An Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge Chapter I A young man stood in a…

Roberto Benigni Gives a Eulogy

Ho ho! Welcome, welcome! My friends! Please, sit. Stand. Dance if-a you please. Make love to the people. This is a day to celebrate, no? Today we must celebrate the…

7 Superbowl Parties for People Who Don’t Watch Football

The European Supplies: a good Merlot 1. Turn on the soccer match between Arsenal and Blackburn. 2. Do not turn on the Superbowl. 3. Occasionally comment on “that strange American…

A Pressing Question

Listen, Emily, I know we’ve only been dating for a month or so, and we haven’t even kissed, but I was hoping I could ask you something. It’s a question…

Marauding Maintenance

In the velvet darkness of the blackest night, a single light shines from the Facilities Operations & Management shed. As the campus lies silent, the soft purr of the engine on a…