The Shmob that Swallowed Ty

There once was a shmob who hung out with Ty I don’t know why they hung out with Ty Perhaps they’ll die. There once was a shmob who hung out…

THE FACTS

FACT: The average summer temperature in Hanover is 80 degrees. However, it is never within 20 degrees of actually being that temperature FACT: Dartmouth students want what they don’t have…

Five Things: Heat Edition

Five Things Famous Historical Figures Did to Get Out of the Heat Marry a frigid woman (Bill Clinton) Get “lost” on your way to the South Pole (Ernest Shackleton) “Live”…

A Limerick or Three

1. There once was a Jacko weekly, Finished, but so very meekly, Just awful it was, Especially ’cause, They’re usually written so chicly. 2. Thinking the Rapture was coming, I…

5 Things You Didn’t Know About the Rapture

1. The Rapture has two drinking games: (Easy version): drink every time the world ends. (Hard version): drink every time the world doesn’t end 2. How we prepared for the…

Bible Studies

by Natta Goodman In light of the recent non-apocalypse, I have turned to the bible to seek solace in a world torn apart by religion.  I was surprised to learn that…

A Conversation Between: DDS Employees

(A long, long silence, as Angelo and Brumhilda hover over vast trays of mashed potatoes and turkey. No students are in sight, despite the fact that it is 6:30. Angelo…

Shirt05

Buy Keggy Shirts!

We’ve got shirts with Keggy on them! Buy one for your friend! Buy two for your friend! Buy four for your friend! Buy five for your friend! Make your friend…