The Wacky Adventures of James Joyce and His Amanuensis

IN WHICH the first line of A Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man is written James Joyce sat at his mahogany desk, his forehead furrowed, his chin perched…

The Shmob that Swallowed Ty

There once was a shmob who hung out with Ty I don’t know why they hung out with Ty Perhaps they’ll die. There once was a shmob who hung out…

THE FACTS

FACT: The average summer temperature in Hanover is 80 degrees. However, it is never within 20 degrees of actually being that temperature FACT: Dartmouth students want what they don’t have…

Five Things: Heat Edition

Five Things Famous Historical Figures Did to Get Out of the Heat Marry a frigid woman (Bill Clinton) Get “lost” on your way to the South Pole (Ernest Shackleton) “Live”…

A Limerick or Three

1. There once was a Jacko weekly, Finished, but so very meekly, Just awful it was, Especially ’cause, They’re usually written so chicly. 2. Thinking the Rapture was coming, I…

5 Things You Didn’t Know About the Rapture

1. The Rapture has two drinking games: (Easy version): drink every time the world ends. (Hard version): drink every time the world doesn’t end 2. How we prepared for the…

Bible Studies

by Natta Goodman In light of the recent non-apocalypse, I have turned to the bible to seek solace in a world torn apart by religion.  I was surprised to learn that…

A Conversation Between: DDS Employees

(A long, long silence, as Angelo and Brumhilda hover over vast trays of mashed potatoes and turkey. No students are in sight, despite the fact that it is 6:30. Angelo…