march madness

March Sadness

It’s April 1st. I emerge from my shelter deep underground. The world is still here. It’s over. I survived March Madness. March is a time when the male species is…

Last Supper

Last Supper Murder Mystery

INT. Banquet Hall JESUS, 32, and the APOSTLES sit eating along one side of a long table. Jesus stands. The disciples silence to listen. Jesus Friends. I tell you now…


A Tinderer’s Log

Day 1: Just got Tinder. All my friends have been telling me to get it.  Seems sort of dumb, but I guess it could be fun. Day 2: Got my…


What the Fuck Is Jennifer Aniston?

A custom sandwich An unfamiliar word if you’ve never read a magazine or gone to a Vince Vaughn movie and/or been alive for more than a month A Greek vegetable…

god creation

God, The English Student

In the Beginning, the First Draft was a formless void of darkness and procrastination, until finally God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that…


The Meal Plan Diaries

December 21st, 2012, 8:56 PM After running the analytics for the fourth time, it’s settled: I’m opting for the 10. Sure, I sacrifice several coffees per week. It’s worth it…


Online Love

Dear Diary, Today is finally the big day. Today I meet the girl of my dreams. For six months now we’ve been talking to each other online. It seems like…

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Today’s TV Lineup

  FEATURED SHOW – Exotic Dancing With the Stars: Celebrities are paired with professional strippers to see how their lives would have been had they dropped out of acting school….