Neverheards

Things that you will NEVER hear around campus! by Matt Garczynski ’14 ’13 Psi U: “Fuck the gender binary, bro!” Philosophy Professor: “I encourage you all to pursue the exact…

How to Argue…

… with an obnoxious male author: 1. Construct an extended metaphor explaining why you are correct. 2. Claim that your metaphor is more extended than his dick ever will be….

Ham Sandwich Birthday Bus

The ham bus was fresh and its cargo was meat. Sesame seeds confettied the ground from the bun roof. Mayonnaise clouded the windows and a single leaf of lettuce floated…

Blind Date

At a fancy restaurant in Hanover (there are like two, pick one). A Girl and a Guy sit across from each other. The Girl peruses a menu carefully. The Guy…

Cool Designs for Socks

By Alex Procton ’15 With pictures of smaller socks on them With pictures of cats named “Socks” on them With speeches by famous orators on them With speeches by cult…

Canadians Invade Hanover!

By Alex Procton ’15 INT. FRAT HOUSE, NIGHT We open on BRET, a ’13, who is behind the bar in his crowded frat house, and JACK, a ’15, who wants…

The Facts of Life

By Michael Lenke ’15 Fact: the Twilight movies have been linked to an increased risk of testicular cancer in both men and women. Fact: there are 4 spider legs in…

Uses of SIRI: iPhone Digital Assistant

For Reenacting 2001: A Space Odyssey – John: Okay Siri, I’m going to play the role of Dr. Heywood R. Floyd and I want you to play— Siri: I know,…

Frank: The Guy with Tinnitus

Frank: The Guy with Tinnitus Meet America’s favorite aurally afflicted goofball… it’s Frank!