An Interview with the GOP

In the fall of 2011, Dartmouth College hosted the prospective Republican Party candidates and attendees for a nationally televised debate. The Jack-O-Lantern had the privilege of interviewing three of the…

thebeatles

The Beatles Make A Snow Penis

by Matt Garczynski ’14 Penny Lane, Liverpool, 1968 Paul: Well, boys, here we are. John: Our old stomping grounds, as they say. George: It’s just as I remember it. Ringo:…

Mac Ideas that Actually Hurt People

by Nathanael Friday ’15  1. A real lightsaber app… you know that wouldn’t end well. 2. Built-in explosive for too many wrong password attempts. 3. Literally razor-thin edges. 4. The…

Wilderness DMT Training

Our longest and most demanding wilderness SPIRIT MEDICINE training…wait, it’s only been a half hour? Well damn. DID YOU KNOW YOU RELEASE DMT WHEN YOU DREAM? YOU DO. This INTENSIVE course…

Carpets Attack!

Ladies and gentlemen, Get your families to the local theater to see the latest installment of fear and terror. Take a seat in the red cushioned chairs, but don’t let…

Terrorist Pigeons

We told Julie to draw a comic about Terrorist Pigeons. This is the result.

Lewis van Lewiston Breaks Up with Things

1. A Vacuum I really like you, Vacky. I really like you a lot. You’ve kept my life clean these past few years. I remember the first day we met…

Five Other Uses for Blood

The American Red Cross has long recognized that although it must maintain a consistent high demand for blood donations, it actually rarely uses any of the blood it collects. This…

Weaponry for the Homemaker

We’ve all been there. You have a lot of old artillery and torture devices just lying around between wars and you just can’t figure out what to do with them….