FROM THE ARCHIVES: The Whore Ex & Other Stories by Dr. Seuss

Doctor Theodor Seuss Geisel is rather widely known as being an illustrator and author of books for children, however what most people don’t know is that the content was actually…

The Man Who Confuses Stockings with Stalking

by Paulie Clawson ’13 It was January Thirteenth, I was home sick with the flu When some noises and ash fell from the chimney flue Someone on the roof was…

12 Uses for a Christmas Fruitcake

by Charlie Rafkin ’16 1. Insert into food processor; add myrtle; add 30 shots of absinthe; get fucked up. 2. Mold fruitcake into flip-flops for dorm bathroom. Nothing is quite…

Winter 2013 Issue Preview

Welcome to 13W! Here’s a preview of what we have in store:

Seltzer’s Secret Formula

To the American Public: I, Jonathan Seltzer, direct descendant of soda water pioneer Isaac Seltzer, believe the time for secrets is no longer. For two and a half centuries, my…

American Bus Museum

Planning a family vacation soon? Why not head to West Orange, NJ to visit the famed American Bus Museum? Come reacquaint yourself with history via one of our many thrilling…

What God Did On The Seventh Day

9:00 AM Rested. 10:00 AM Rested. 11:00 AM Remembered the concept of time He just created and thought He should get up soon. 11:01 AM Rested. 11:30 AM Had some…

Secrets

The front door opens. It must be my wife. “Hi honey, my meeting got out early so I decided to just come home,” she says as she walks up the…

New Halloween Video!

Happy Halloween!