Universe Fails To Win Own Beauty Contest

Both the fashion and science worlds are in a hubbub since last week’s Miss Universe Pageant, which featured an unexpected guest—the universe itself. A late entry, the eponymous universe literally…


What I Love About My New Google Glass

I love my new Google Glass. It gives me the power to do anything with simple hands-free voice commands. It lets me surf the web on the go. It lets…


Message in a Bottle

Dear Reader, If, by some miracle, this letter has reached you intact, please heed the message herein. I am currently stranded on an island in the middle of the south…

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Derek (New Video!)

Sketch comedy? On the internet? Check out the world premiere of our very own Sketch Team Dartmouth.


❦ Read the Fall Issue

Check out our latest issue Autumn Lovin’   * Available now on Novack newsstands *  — Love Is All Around You, Dipshit by Charlie Laud The Hazing Seminar by Drew…


Love Is All Around You, Dipshit

Love is all around you, dipshit. Yeah, you, you limp-dicked son of a bitch. Stop your chicken shit rat race for once in your goddamn life to recognize it. Love…


None Like You

I’ve been with a lot of women before, but none like you. You’re the smartest, funniest, most charming and beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen so many. Trust…


Sit Down, Shut Up, This Is the Hazing Seminar

Alright everyone, sit down and shut up. You are not allowed to leave this meeting. I am running it. You will listen. This is the seminar on hazing. You will…


I Think My Boyfriend Is An Alien Tasked With Shepherding the Human Race to the Next Step in Its Evolution

Hey, Liz. Thanks for coming on short notice. I know I can lay my guy problems on you pretty thick, but this time it’s serious. This time I really like…

Soldier Writing Letter Home

Letters From the War

December 27th, 1944 Dearest Laura, I have not seen you for four months now. I miss you dearly and hope to see you as soon as possible. The war rages…