The World Is Our Coke Den

  — Grab my hand, friend o’ mine There’s a whole world to see. Grab the coke by the fridge We’ll snort it all, you and me.   We’ll snort…


I Can’t Believe You Ate The Whole Jar Of Pickles

I can’t believe you ate the whole jar of pickles. Tell me all you want, but will never believe you. I can’t. Believe me, I’m trying to believe you, but…


How To Strike Up A Conversation With The Man In Your Room At Night

Need a hand chatting up that silent shadowy man in your room at night? Follow these easy steps to make that spine-chilling fiend turn to a jaw-flapping friend. Introduce Yourself…


Nana’s Guide to the Movies You Saw this Year

I may not have heard everything the actors were saying but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the flicks. It’s all about the experience, the popcorn, the skittles, the works….


We’re Doing Things Differently On the Force Nowadays

Everybody, gather round. We’re gonna be doing things a little differently on the force now. I hired a PR consultant, Saul Lemkin, and he has some pretty good ideas for…


Dander Canterbury: A Life In Cartoons

Although we grieve his passing, today we should celebrate Dander Canterbury’s life and incomparable body of work, inarguably the greatest, wittiest, funniest and most scathing collection of political cartoons. We…


Birdwatcher-Watching: A Personal Guide

Ornitholology, or as it is commonly known, the study of the study of birds, has become a growing fad across the country. Thousands are flocking, pun intended, to whip out…

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Onstage Divorces Inspire Millions

In contrast to the Grammy’s mass-marriage event during Macklemore and Madonna’s joint performance, 36 divorces were finalized on stage last night at the lesser-known Gaffer Awards. The event was emotional,…