Category Archives: Online

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❧ Read the New Issue

Check out our latest issue Pumpkin Face Fun Magazine * Available now on Novack newsstands *  — Featuring I Can’t Believe You Ate The Whole Jar of Pickles by Drew Zwetchkenbaum Survey…

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8 Things You’d Be Surprised You Can Find In A Library

Most folks these days think they can get all they need at the touch of a button, but these eight things would convince any Google gaga there’s nothing like stepping…

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Our Halloween Decorations Are Super Lifelike!

Mom, I can’t find our Halloween decorations. Oh, never mind, here they are. We got a lot of neat stuff down here: lights, lamps and there’s a scary skeleton. Whoa!…

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This Fertilizer Is Shit

Dear FertilizeMe Lawn Care Company, When I first saw your bag of extra-strength fertilizer sitting on my local Home Depot’s shelf, I was ecstatic. I had just picked up some…

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I Would Totally Be Decent At Figure Skating

Dude, I would totally be like a decent figure skater. Not like a really good figure skater, but totally better than average. No, I don’t want to be a figure…

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The Best Sam

While some may accept being good, he strives to be the best. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHOOzjy_vvM

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Copyright-Abiding Names For The Super Bowl

The Big Game Game Day February Football Fest The Lombardi Showdown The Amazing Concave Dish Doritos Commercial Championships 2014 Men’s Lingerie Bowl It Sure Ain’t Chess! The Fake Fight Le…

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The World Is Our Coke Den

  — Grab my hand, friend o’ mine There’s a whole world to see. Grab the coke by the fridge We’ll snort it all, you and me.   We’ll snort…

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I Can’t Believe You Ate The Whole Jar Of Pickles

I can’t believe you ate the whole jar of pickles. Tell me all you want, but will never believe you. I can’t. Believe me, I’m trying to believe you, but…

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How To Strike Up A Conversation With The Man In Your Room At Night

Need a hand chatting up that silent shadowy man in your room at night? Follow these easy steps to make that spine-chilling fiend turn to a jaw-flapping friend. Introduce Yourself…