Today’s TV Lineup

 

  • FEATURED SHOW – Exotic Dancing With the Stars: Celebrities are paired with professional strippers to see how their lives would have been had they dropped out of acting school. This week: Stephen Hawking is disqualified for using a prop, Jason Statham sets everything on fire, Newman from Seinfeld pulls his hamstring, and Moammar Gaddhafi’s corpse twitches… or does it?
  • Comedy Central Presents: Mitt Romney – The former presidential candidate turns to a new career, lampooning food quality on private jets and delivering zinging one-liners such as “I like my women like I like my taxes – unpaid and hidden”
  • The History Channel Presents: Countdown to the Next Apocalypse – Did the Incas predict the rise of Nazi alien warlords in 2015?
  • Movie Night: The Life and Times of Morgan Freeman. Starring God.
  • Intervention: A family determined to confront their 80-year-old grandfather’s chronic sleeping addiction is shocked to find out he’s just dead.
  • Season Premiere: Name that Gangnam Style
  • Keeping up with the Kardashians and Hungry Tigers: A camera crew tracks the fast-paced lifestyle of the celebrity family while avoiding being eaten alive.
  • Pawn Sluts: Host Tom Smith slips in through the backdoor looking to hit the jackpot. Can he seal the deal?
  • Ghost Hunters: After shotgun bullets fail to penetrate the ghost’s body, the gang tries a crossbow.
  • Project Airport Runway: 9 Boeing 787s compete for $50,000 and a spot on the cover of Glamour Magazine. Hosted by Heidi Klum. Either you’re in, or you’re out, or you die in flaming wreckage.