Happy Fourth of July!

Great Springsteen’s Ghost, it’s the Fourth of July! Independence Day! The day America finally shook off its tea-drinking, wizard-worshipping past and punched King George III so hard in the royal bollocks that King George VI stuttered because of it. It’s a time for people of all ages, races, creeds, sexual preferences*┬áto band together under the glorious stars & stripes in collective pride. Gleefully forgetting about things like slavery, McCarthyism, mass genocide, and personal safety, we set off fireworks that symbolize blahdy blahdy blah they’re pretty and go boom. So crack open a cold one, let the good times roll, and enjoy your freedom, Americans. Wiggle around and notice how good it feels to not have that imperial stick up your colon-hole. Seriously, have you watched the BBC?**

*But not all nationalities. Don’t wait up for the invite, Canadians.

**For reference:

The BBC face





The America Face