A Series of Progressively Worse Decisions

  1. You buy stock in the Housing Market
  2. …from a homeless man
  3. …who will only accept his own semen as payment
  1. You shoplift
  2. …a book
  3. …from Good Will
  4. …that book is a copy of Hustler
  5. …that copy of Hustler is the little-known “Doodles of Goats Fucking Done By A Blind Man” issue
  1. You tripped the light fantastic
  2. …meaning you did acid
  3. …and watched an episode of Pokemon
  4. …and cut off your own leg with a laser beam
  5. …then ate it
  1. You cry yourself to sleep
  2. …after watching an episode of Kyle XY
  3. …and realizing it isn’t about a hermaphrodite
  1. You fall asleep on an airplane
  2. …-pilot’s lap
  3. …after taking off
  4. …your pants
  1. You use a dirty needle
  2. …to play a vintage copy of Exile on Main Street
  3. …then you shoot up a billion pounds of heroin
  1. You decide to go see Madea’s Big Happy Family
  2. …this is the worst decision.