15 Names for Dartmouth Herds

There are many names for groups of animals that are freaking ridiculous. A gaggle of geese. An army of frogs. A raft of ducks. A troubling of goldfish. A business of ferrets. A hover of trout. (We’re not kidding, these are real.) Who comes up with this stuff??! Answer: we do. Here are names we propose for herds of animals found at Dartmouth today.

1. An annoyance of freshmen

2. A trifle of prospies —–>

3. A haze of sophomores

4. A rampage of athletes

5. A condescension of professors —–>

6. A benevolence of Jim Kims

7. A firing of deans

8. A coming-to-work-high of Grill Line workers

9. A tittering of sorority girls

10. An giggle of potheads

11. A fuck-you-Andrew-O’Brien of Andrew O’Briens

12. An affluence of alumni

13. A destitution of recent alumni —–>

14. A pride of gay people

15. A what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-with-that-light-saber of deranged grad students