A classic sidescroller. Battle Scotland’s foes in Elizabethan warfare as you gain levels: army general, Thane of Cawdor, and—if you have the skill—King of Scotland. Tap A quickly to stave of guilt and battle challenging bosses like Duncan, Banquo, and the MacDuff children. But don’t worry, they don’t regenerate.
Uncle Tom’s Cabin:
Jump over floating ice drifts to cross the river into the north, but don’t drop that baby. Score is kept not in points, but in number of Southerners outraged.
A variation of Snake. Collect apples, but instead of increasing in length, you advance in depression. Enjoy subgames of skill and finesse including window-gazing and ceiling-dangling.
Now that’s just ridiculous.
Pride and Prejudice:
Play as money-crazed Mrs. Bennett! Adventure through the countryside with a sword, slashing grass and breaking jars in a mad rush for stray coins. Enter temples (countryside estates), battling various foes (servants, more jars) until you reach the boss (the man of the house, probably in the sitting room). If you defeat him, he’ll marry one of your daughters. But be careful: the more money your sons-in-law have, the more points you get! If you ever get tired, press Start to pause and lament your lack of male offspring.
The final level is a race against honor. Drive to Troy in a chariot, dragging Hector’s lifeless body behind as you go. The more mangled it becomes, the higher you score. Jump through trees and over rocks for maximum desecration!
Like Oregon Trail, except you’re already where you wanted to go, which is Chicago for some reason. Search for jobs and purchase items (if you have the money, which you don’t) as your family members become prostitutes or die one by one of various ailments. Touch screen technology brings the workplace levels to a whole new realm. Keep a steady hand as you disembowel hanging cows, but watch out, sometimes they’re still alive!