The Fruits of my Labor
Or, What I’ve learned in the first ten days of my second year of college
by Scott O'Brien
Here’s a brief breakdown of the important things my classes have taught me so far this year. I’ll keep you posted:
CLST 6: Introduction to Classical Archaeology
- As an archaeologist, it doesn’t matter so much that you’re correct about your findings. Just that you’re rich and British.
- There are things in the world less interesting than establishing chronologies by studying ancient pollen grains; I just have yet to find them.
- When your professor tells you to “meet me at Eleazer Wheelock’s tomb tomorrow at noon” it’s not, in fact, an invitation to duel. She’s actually going to assign a massive project about gravestone analysis. Good thing I brought a second.
ANTH 42: Primate Societies
- Monkeys are cute AND funny. This principle is absolutely inflexible.
- Much like in our society, it sucks to be the only monkey in the group not getting laid.
- I really need to get myself a harem.
- I should change my major to Anthro and marry into money like everyone else in the class.
Hi Mom and Dad! Keep sending checks.