Keggy crashed the wedding of an '01 Jacko alumna at Rollins Chapel on Satuday. He became somewhat overexcited at the prospect of an open bar, and shortly after the following photographs were taken, he was ejected from the premises for disorderly conduct.



Keggy spent his afternoon and evening at the 99 Rock radio station and then at the promotional event at Benning Street Bar & Grill. An individual at the bar offered $25 for the right to fight Keggy. When denied, he attempted to tackle Keggy anyway. He was subdued by Keg security and escorted away, while making inflammatory comments about Dartmouth College and anthropomorphic kegs in general.




Keggy came out as per usual to cheer on the Kegs as they battled Holy Cross in 2006's Homecoming football game. Sadly, anti-keg racism has still not been eradicated at Dartmouth sporting events (see February 11 incident below): Keggy was not permitted to join the marching band on the field at halftime, and was relegated to the stands to cheer on his team in a less-than-optimal capacity. That Monday, The Dartmouth reported on the event and decried the discrimination that still plagues our College.

Keggy attempts to persaude racist College officials to allow him to join his non-Keg brethren on the football field.      


Keggy checked out the first home football game of the season and cheered the Kegs on. He met the kids, hung out with the marching band, and enjoyed the latest issue of the Jack-O-Lantern.





Keggy was guest of honor at the wedding reception of beer heir August Busch IV, and was invited specially by one of the police officers guarding the Hanover Inn to "Go over there and scare the Clydesdales." Keggy did so, teaching kids and adults along the way that alcohol is not only a way to become staggeringly rich, it can be fun, too.





Keggy met Jenn Sterger this Green Key, bestowing upon her a complimentary t-shirt.

Photo copyright Bailey Massey/The Dartmouth Staff

Finishing up his chem midterm early, Keggy decided to take a stroll across the Green and into the Great Hall of Baker Memorial Library to meet some of the prospies.




Returning rested from spring break supplying college students in Cancún, Keggy skipped his 2A to help the women's lacrosse team stomp Stanford 13-9.





Despite having his chemistry final the next morning at 8:00 AM, Keggy came out to support the Kegs in their 3-1 defeat of Yale University. Thanks to Keggy's rallying of the crowds (and the children), Dartmouth will move onto the ECAC semifinals.


Arriving well before puck drop this time, Keggy was admitted to the last season game of the men's hockey team without incident (albeit suffering muttered slurs from antagonistic grounds staff). Team officials attributed the 3-0 shutout, divison-championship-clinching win largely to Keggy's presence.




In a shocking display of anti-keg racism, Safety & Security and Thompson Arena personnel refused to admit Keggy (arriving only 45 minutes after the puck drop) to the men's ice hockey game on Winter Carnival weekend. Under the pretext that admitting more than the capacity crowd was in the violation of the fire code, the facilities staff mocked and humiliated Keggy for his second-class citizenship that forced him to remain outside the arena, able only to make crude and offsensive hand gestures in return (right). The cameras of ESPNU and the campus effort to "white-out" Princeton were without Keggy on that night. "Diverse college," indeed – so long as that diversity doesn't include kegs.

The next week, in a letter to the editor of The Dartmouth, Cole Entress '06 spoke out to the Dartmouth community on behalf of the plight of Keggy.

Copyright © 2037-2084 Glorious North Korean Overseers' Funny Laughing Magazine to Mock Defeated American Imperialist Slaves