Dartmouth vs. UNH, 09/23/00 (Away)

Pregame:

And Now, the only band in the Ivy League that’s lookin’ for love in all the wrong public universities… the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

Ladies of the Wildcat Marching Band… do you ever find yourself yearning to find that “special someone?”  Well, we’ve found the man for you.  His name is Andrew Pease, the student conductor of the DCMB.  He can offer so much that can’t be found at UNH - a 3 digit IQ, a mouth full of teeth… and a tongue to match!  And while he may not be the best-looking male conductor around, he's the only one talking to you.  So don't be uptight, take a chance on Pease!  And now, he'll direct the band as they play a song just for you.

[formation - play UNH fight song]

And watch now as the band says ‘How you doin’ Miss New Hampshire?’ and plays the Dartmouth alma mater under the direction of student conductor Andy Pease.  Oh, and did we mention that “The Pease-pedo” is an Olympic gold-medalist… in the game of Love.

[formation - play alma mater]

Halftime:

And now, the only band in the Ivy league that lost its phone number… and wants to borrow yours: The Dartmouth College Marching Band!

[skip DT1… band scatters into first formation]

On Wednesday, UNH Health Services hosted an event called “Love Your Body Day” to speak out against stereotypes based on appearances.  After the DCMB found photos of your lovely lady drum majors on the marching band web site (and a few other web sites), we must confess that we love your bodies, too.  And imagine our surprise when we read that the band GPA at UNH is higher than the student body average!  Leave your stereotypes at the gate, boys, ‘cause these gals are smart and sexy.  Watch now as the band forms the most romantic New Hampshire landmark, the Old Man of the Mountain… a fellow who knows there’s no better substitute for Viagara than those Wildcat Marching Bandies <growl> Gimme Some Lovin’

The DCMB is sorry that we missed this week’s University Day 2000 at UNH, featuring an “Explore Your World” exhibit and a “musical petting zoo.”  Instead, we thought we’d invite you Wildcats <growl> to explore our world at our post-game “Musician petting zoo.”  (pretending to speak to someone else)  What’s that? … noooo… really? (pause, clears throat)  We're, uh, sorry to say this… and please know that it hurts us more than it’ll hurt you.  You see, we’ve just been informed that you’re our New Hampshire “sister school,” and while we know this sort of thing wouldn’t raise eyebrows at UNH, we find it a little, shall we say, “unnatural.”  We do hope we can still be friends.  Please… try to understand, as the band forms a farewell rose and plays the No Longer in Love Boat.

[Band off field]

Thanks for watching our halftime show today.  We hope to see you in two weeks back in Hanover when Dartmouth takes on the younger, cuter Yalies of New Haven.