And now, the only band in the Ivy League mentioned 514 times in the Starr Report, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

DT1, Band Downfield

Please rise as DCMB Faculty Director Max Culpepper directs the band in our National Anthem.

SSB, Concert Formation

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen and ‘shmen of all ages, to the 1998 Big Green football season. This afternoon the Green take on the University of Pennsylvania, of luxurious West Filthadelphia. The DCMB realizes the Quakers might feel out of place in safe and clean New Hampshire. But

we’d like to point out that the two campuses aren’t so different after all…

For example, Dartmouth instituted a composting program over the summer to keep trash out of the landfill. Penn students accomplish the same thing by simply leaving trash on the city streets.

The president and dean of Dartmouth are provided homes to keep them on campus. Similarly, Penn helps staff live nearby, by providing $15,000 cash to any employee who dares live in University City.

And both schools have fire rituals. Once a year, Dartmouth freshmen light the Hanover Green on fire. About as often, Penn students gather round an old fashioned inner city fire…

To raise Penn’s spirits and prevent future carnage, we’d like to play Penn a song they’ll recognize…

Fight On Pennsylvania, Reverse Concert Formation

Please rise as student conductor Lauren "The Liberty" Bellucci leads the Band in the Dartmouth College Alma Mater.

Alma Mater, Concert Formation

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that refuses to kneel down for anyone, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

DT1, Band Downfield

It’s Orientation, and the class of 2002 is learning all about its new home here in Hanover. Because there are things the administration doesn’t tell the ‘shmen, we’d like to point out some signs that the College is actually a refugee camp…

Your morning sleep is disturbed by Vermont militia groups masquerading their tanks as construction equipment…

You and your fellow freshmen wear uniforms of DOC t-shirts, Dartmouth hats, and green backpacks…

Your first reading assignment is Brave New World…

And the last sure-fire sign, you are watched at all hours by cameras atop Baker Tower…

Watch now as the band forms Baker Tower and plays Joy to the Brave New World…

Joy to the World, Baker Tower

The ‘shmen also need to be careful of the rumors that upperclassmen will tell them. Since we’re no better than the rest, the DCMB would like to present the top five list of untrue rumors that we’ll perpetuate anyway…

5. You can believe every quote you read in the "D."

4. You’ll always be the smartest class ever.

3. Safety and Security officers are here for your benefit.

2. You get to see President Wright’s private office during matriculation.

And the number one untrue rumor that the DCMB would like to keep around,

1. Your roommate is acceptable material for the composting bin at the Hop.

Watch now as the band forms a composting bin and plays Gimme Some Lovin’…

Gimme Some Lovin’, Composting Bin

Along with all the ‘02’s, the rest of the College is arriving back for classes as we speak. Many changes were promised to us last summer, and the DCMB would like to submit a report to bring the returning students up to date…

In recent construction news, we’ve learned that FO&M is well on its way to making one half of all campus buildings inaccessible to students…

As for campus safety, while no more locks have been put on campus doors, Safety and Security guarantees it will keep the streets safe, just as soon one of its minivans is able to jump over the hole in Main Street.

And the new alcohol policy was implemented. The first provision: warm weather for Tubestock, as students had previously been driven to drink to avoid hypothermia in the Connecticut River.

Watch now as the band relives Tubestock by forming an inner tube and playing Walkin’ on Sunshine!

Walkin’ on Sunshine, Inner Tube

The DCMB would like to thank everyone for coming out to the game today. Enjoy the second half, and we look forward to seeing you in two weeks as the Big Green battle Lafayette.