Strange creatures as they are, Brown students don't always appear to be as
creative and original as you might expect. Take the Brown Band, for example.
Every year they recycle the same stupid sheep jokes from the year before
and use them in their halftime show. They'll no doubt do the same this year.
Keeping this in mind, the DCMB would like to present to you a sample of what you
will probably hear from the Brown Band this afternoon... sorry to ruin your
show, guys!
(clear throat, speak in a high-pitched whining voice)
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen... and Dartmouth students (heh, heh, heh!)
We are soooo glad that you folks from Dartmouth are here this afternoon, so that
we could make baaaad sheep jokes for you! You guys obviously have so many sheep
up in New Hampshire, and we love to make jokes about how much you
Dartmouth students love them! I bet you don't find much virgin
wool up at Dartmouth! Heh, heh, heh, we are so funny!
Watch now as the Band forms - what else? - a sheep! and plays "Gimme Some
Lovin'"... (heh, heh, heh!)
SHEEP "GIMME SOME LOVIN"
We all know that Brown students have no friends... and so the DCMB would like
to present the Top Ten Signs That You Are A Brown Student And NOBODY LIKES
YOU...
#10 - Every time someone gives you his or her phone number, it begins with
"555..."
#9 - You yell from the edge of the Grand Canyon, but there's no echo
#8 - You are one of the best solitaire players in the world
#7 - You walk into a video store in downtown Providence and say out loud to
yourself, "Well, what do you want to rent tonight?"
#6 - Every New Year's Eve party you go to breaks up around 10pm
#5 - When playing touch football, you always seem to be "going long"
#4 - The MCI operator laughs hysterically whenever you ask about the "Friends
and Family Plan"
#3 - Your parents introduce you as "an acquaintance"
#2 - Even your imaginary friend is so damn sick of your company
and the number one sign that you are a Brown student and nobody likes you ...
You are a member of the Brown University Band!
Watch now as the Band forms a friendless Brown student and plays "Twist and
Shout"...
BROWN STUDENT "TWIST AND SHOUT"
The DCMB would like to thank all the Dartmouth faithful for attending today's
game. Enjoy the second half, everybody! Come see us next week down in Jersey for
our final game of the 1996 season as the Big Green look to tame those Tigers of
Princeton!
*REVISED*
*Brown 11/16/96 - Tim Redl
PRE-GAME
And now... the only band in the Ivy League that thinks that being "green with
envy" is better than being "brown with..." well, you know... the Dartmouth
College Marching Band!!!
BAND DOWNFIELD TO DT-1
Good afternoon everybody! We're glad you could join us today in scenic
Providence, Rhode Island! A pretty depressing place, wouldn't you say? Almost as
depressing as going to Brown, for goodness sake! At least we have an advantage
over Brown students though... we get to leave at the end of the day!
Anyway, the DCMB would like to welcome all the Dartmouth faithful to today's
game, as your undefeated Big Green, currently ranked 19th in the nation, look to
stuff and tame the Brown Bears. A victory this afternoon over Brown would put
the Green at a perfect 9-0 for the season, and would make Dartmouth the
undisputed 1996 Ivy League Champions! Woo hoo! The Ivy Title will once again be
back up in Hanover, where we all know it rightfully belongs!
Please rise as Student Conductor Karen "Stand Up" Wenner leads the Band
in the playing of the Dartmouth College Alma Mater...
CONCERT FORMATION ALMA MATER
HALF-TIME
And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks that Brown students are
the ones who put the "dense" back in Providence... the Dartmouth College
Marching Band!!!
BAND DOWNFIELD TO DT-1
1
Brown students... a rather interesting species. In fact, the words
"stereotypical freak" seem to come to mind. They say there's an easy way to tell
the difference between Dartmouth students and Brown students... Dartmouth
students wear green sweatshirts and have brown hair, while Brown
students wear Brown sweatshirts and have green hair. You know, the
state of Rhode Island was founded for people who didn't fit in with the rest of
society. Well, perhaps Brown University was founded for the same reason!
The DCMB has to wonder... just what are these Brown students going to
do after they graduate? After all, they don't have real majors, they don't take
real classes, and for goodness sake, they don't even get real grades! Hey guys,
good news... I hear McDonalds and Burger King are both hiring! Would you
like fries with that diploma???
Watch now as the Band forms a McNugget and plays "The Chicken Dance"...
MCNUGGET "THE CHICKEN DANCE"
2
Strange creatures as they are, Brown students don't always appear to be as
creative and original as you might expect. Take the Brown Band, for example.
Every year they recycle the same stupid sheep jokes from the year before
and use them in their halftime show. They'll no doubt do the same this year.
Keeping this in mind, the DCMB would like to present to you a sample of what you
will probably hear from the Brown Band this afternoon... sorry to ruin your
show, guys!
(clear throat, speak in a high-pitched whining voice)
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen... and Dartmouth students (heh, heh, heh!)
We are soooo glad that you folks from Dartmouth are here this afternoon, so that
we could make baaaad sheep jokes for you! You guys obviously have so many sheep
up in New Hampshire, and we love to make jokes about how much you
Dartmouth students love them! Just look at all those sheepish
grins on your faces! Baaaaaa! Heh, heh, heh, we are so funny!
Watch now as the Band forms - what else? - a sheep! and plays "Gimme Some
Lovin'"... (heh, heh, heh!)
SHEEP "GIMME SOME LOVIN"
3
We all know that Brown students have no friends... and so the DCMB would like
to present the Top Ten Signs That You Are A Brown Student And NOBODY LIKES
YOU...
#10 - Every time someone gives you his or her phone number, it begins with
"555..."
#9 - You yell from the edge of the Grand Canyon, but there's no echo
#8 - You are one of the best solitaire players in the world
#7 - You walk into a video store in downtown Providence and say out loud to
yourself, "Well, what do you want to rent tonight?"
#6 - Every New Year's Eve party you go to breaks up around 10pm
#5 - When playing touch football, you always seem to be "going long"
#4 - The MCI operator laughs hysterically whenever you ask about the "Friends
and Family Plan"
#3 - Your parents introduce you as "an acquaintance"
#2 - Even your imaginary friend is so damn sick of your company
and the number one sign that you are a Brown student and nobody likes you ...
You are a member of the Brown University Band!
Watch now as the Band forms a Brown student's only friend - a tree - and
plays "The Love Oak"...
TREE "THE LOVE BOAT"
The DCMB would like to thank all the Dartmouth faithful for attending today's
game. Enjoy the second half, everybody! Come see us next week down in Jersey for
our final game of the 1996 season as the Big Green look to tame those Tigers of
Princeton!
