Dartmouth vs. Brown, 11/11/95 (Home)
PREGAME
And Now... the only band in the Ivy League that thinks "quarterback" is the
average tax refund, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!
BAND DOWNFIELD TO DT-1
The DCMB is glad to be back in Hanover after our two-week tour of Ivy League
schools with bad PA systems. We'd also like to say that we're thrilled to see
the Brown Marching Band again, and since this is a home game, you'll be able to
hear us. Maybe Brown will be able to buy a new PA system with the twenty dollars
they'll receive for selling two houses to make way for a construction project.
That's right: these houses will sell for ten dollars each. What's the catch? The
buyer must move the house elsewhere by next June. Since the houses are near the
Brown campus, the DCMB suspects that the new owners wouldn't want it any other
way
… Watch now as the band salutes
Brown's low-value by playing their school song.
REVERSE CONCERT FORMATION BROWN SONG
Please rise as student conductor "Demolition" Dave Mattingly leads the band
in the playing of the Alma Mater, and remain standing as faculty director Max
Culpepper conducts the national anthem.
CONCERT FORMATION ALMA MATER
CONCERT FORMATION STAR SPANGLED BANNER
HALFTIME
And Now
… the only band in the Ivy
League whose shows can only be heard by the pure of heart and sharp of mind, the
Dartmouth College Marching Band!
BAND DOWNFIELD TO IMAGINARY DT-1
Since Brown is in town, the DCMB has been pondering the story of the
Emperor's New Clothes. It seems that Brown students have an amazing capacity for
appreciating things that, in reality, just aren't there. Brown students
certainly have lots of experience in imagining things, such as their social
lives, their majors, and the halftime shows spoken over their PA system. But
some Brown students take the Emperor's New Clothes story more literally and even
write books about it. We're sure "Ivy League Stripper" is really about scraping
paint and scraping by, but several Dartmouth students offered their own unique
interpretation of the book on the Green last week. Watch now as the band forms
[first formation] and plays [first song].
FIRST FORMATION FIRST SONG
Some of you in the audience are Brown students, showing school pride by
attending today's game. Some of you might not know if you're a Brown student,
and so the DCMB has devised the following self-test to find out if you too are a
Brown Student. If you think "major" is a rank in the army, you might be a Brown
Student. If you think sheep jokes are funny, you might be Brown student. If your
last house cost ten dollars? You're probably a Brown student. And if you can't
climb mountains 'cuz there's a "grade" involved, you're definitely a Brown
student. Watch now as the band forms [second formation] and plays [second song].
SECOND FORMATION SECOND SONG
The Republican Congress and its "Contract on
…
I mean with… America" have brought many
changes to America in recent months. But the DCMB has discovered one aspect of
our national culture that has resisted the modern thinking of the Republicans:
Children's Television programs. So in order to encourage PBS to keep up with the
times, here are the Top Ten Changes in Republican Children's Television:
10) Big Bird is hunted with automatic weapons.
9) Today in Mr. Rogers' Land of Make Believe: the Trickle-down theory.
8) Big Bird is shot and brought home for dinner.
7) Mr. Hooper's Hostile Takeover
6) Big Bird rotisserie style, with "Snuffy Stuffing"
5) Maria and Luis are deported.
4) Our personal favorite: Barney goes extinct!
3) Crispy Sesame Big Bird
2) Bert and Ernie are thrown out of the military.
And the number one Change in Republican Children's Television is...
1) Big Bird Cordon Bleu!
Watch now as the band forms [third formation] and plays [third song].
THIRD FORMATION THIRD SONG
The DCMB would like to thank you for coming to today's game. Please join us
next week for the final game of the season when the Big Green pokes out the Eye
of the Princeton Tiger.
