***PREGAME***
And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks Roe vs. Wade has
something to do with salmon fishing, the Dartmouth College Marching Band
(DT # whatever)
The DCMB is pleased to see a great turnout from the class of 1993 today, and
we are very excited to have ESPN broadcasting the game nationally. ESPN is very
popular among Dartmouth students, especially for its special late-night
broadcasts of billiards tournaments. The hyper-photogenic DCMB really loves to
be on TV... hint, hint. We wanted to form the letters "ESPN" on the field, but
that's impossible for us to spell this early in the season; in fact, it's
usually impossible for us to get on ESPN at all. So instead, watch as the DCMB
forms a television set and literally explodes into its impossible mission - to
be on ESPN.
(TV formation, Mission Impossible)
***HALFTIME***
And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks the class of 1993 is the
BEST class in this stadium today... the Dartmouth College Marching Band!
(DT # whatever)
Well folks, it seems as if the Princeton Tiger marching band has finally
decided to put those stylish neo-melon and black uniforms of theirs to work for
a worthy cause. This fall the Princeton band will be traveling the country on a
goodwill tour for another famous tiger - everyone's favorite company - Exxon.
Watch now as the DCMB, with the help of a few unsuspecting otters, reenacts that
fateful day in Prince William Sound and plays a tribute to Captain Joseph
Hazelwood of the good ship Exxon Valdez.
(Tanker/Otter formation, Miller Time)
Every Dartmouth 'shmen enjoys receiving mail from his or her loved ones.
Nothing brightens their day more than getting that long-awaited shipment of
cookies, or the new J. Crew catalog, or the latest bulletin from Mary Turco. To
assist the clueless '93s in their quest for mail - remember, it's the Hinman
Boxes, not Hinman Hall - the DCMB offers the following list of the Top Ten Times
to Check Your HB:
10) The week before one of President Freedman's raging parties
8) Every hour, on the hour
5) Before and after every class
4) Before and after every meal
3) Right after today's football victory over Princeton
2) On your way to Ben & Jerry's... psyche!
and the best time to check your HB: on your way to visit the lovely ladies of
Kappa Alpha Theta! Watch now as the DCMB salutes its favorite sorority by
forming its Greek call letters and playing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
(KAż formation, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)
For the past week, '93s have been wandering around campus in large groups;
looking for Dick's House, looking for parties, looking for the Green. One of our
DCMB spies overheard the following conversation taking place outside of Thayer:
Tracy: So, your name's, uh, Eric, right?
Eric: No, it's Derek. And you're Tracy?
T: Right! Right... so, did you enjoy your freshmen trip?
E: Oh yeah, it was great. Gotta love those green eggs and ham.
T: Me, too.
E: Well, where's the parties tonight?
T: Um...I overheard some guys at Thayer talking about a keg on the fifth
floor of Mass Row.
E: Which dorm?
T: I don't know... I'll follow everyone else, I guess.
E: Yeah, I'm sure it'll be a huge rage. So... where ya from?
T: Hawaii.
E: No way! I used to watch "Hawaii 5-0" on TV all the time!
A: Hey! That show sure had a great theme song!
E: Watch now as the DCMB forms a giant '93 in tribute to this
year's freshmen class and plays the all-time great television
theme song, Hawaii 5-0
('93 formation, Hawaii 5-0)
