PREGAME

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks the Yale cheerleaders should be sued for visual cruelty, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

At this point in the show, we, the DCMB, would like to extend our warmest appreciation to the Yale Band and their splendid Yale Bowl. We really enjoyed the trip down into scenic New Haven. But, the Band must pause for a second and ask ourselves several of the following musical questions:

Why did the DCMB even bother coming to New Haven?

Why do Yalies pay $20,000 a year to live in a slum?

Why did George Bush, famous Yale Alum, pick Dan Quayle?

Why does George Bush, famous Yale Alum, keep Dan Quayle?

Why is George Bush always seen in public with his mother? Whoops, I mean his wife.

Why does Dan Quayle like to dress up in women's clothing?

Why is Yale's singing group called the Whiffenpoofs?

And finally, why are there so many gates at Yale? Is it to prevent runaway Boolas? Watch now as the DCMB forms a symbolic Y to thank the University of New Haven.

BIRDLAND Y FORMATION

Will you please rise and join the marching band in the singing of our alma mater.

CONCERT FORMATION ALMA MATER

HALFTIME

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks the Yale Bowl should be flushed, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!!!

You know, lately that secret Yale organization, Skull and Bones, of which George Bush was a member, has been accused of stealing the bones of famous Indian Geronimo and Mexican war hero Pancho Villa. Well, leave it to the DCMB to find out the facts. Last week, the Band send down our undercover research team to dig up the true facts. So far, the Band has also found these people's remains in the secret Skull and Bones meeting room, located right underneath the statue of Eli Yale.

So far, here's the initial skull...I mean head count:

Jimmy Hoffa

Elvis

Howdy Doody

Bing Crosby

Bob Hope - Whoops, not yet.

Morris the Cat, #3

Barbara Bush - no, she just looks dead.

And finally, Mike Dukakis' campaign looks buried as well.

Watch now as the DCMB forms a skull and crossbones to suggest the secret society and plays that adventerous tune, Raiders of the Lost Body Parts.

RAIDERS SKULL AND CROSSBONES

Hey there sports fans, now it's time for another exciting game of YOU MAKE THE CALL, Brought to you this week by Miller Beer. Here's this week's question:

Let's pretend you're George Bush. You've got to pick your Vice President from a whole group of qualified and not so qualified candidates. Here are the choices:

Yale President Benno Schmidt, Famous Philosopher Aristotle, Father of our Country George Washington, or Dan Quayle.

Audience - you make the call. We'll be right back after this message from our sponsor.

MILLER TIME BOTTLE

If you said Dan Quayle, you were stupid, but you were also right. Congratulations, sports fan, you are now qualified to become a Yale alumni. Watch now as the DCMB plays that Presidential favorite, Hail to the Chief.

MICKEY MOUSE SAME FORMATION

You know, the Dartmouth Band, along with countless other curious people, have an insatiable lust for knowledge. In our neverending thirst for intellectual fulfillment, we have to ask the question: What is a Boola?

Is it the noise you make when you run up behind someone and scare them? (MAKE BOOLA BOOLA SOUND SCARY)

Is a boola the noise made from stressful retching? (MAKE BOOLA RETCHING SOUND)

Or is a Boola a fine California wine?

Or a cheap New Haven wine?

Or could a boola be the sound made by a tipped cow? (MAKE BLEATING BOOLA NOISE) You be the judge.

You know, it seems that a Boola is simply undefinable. And coming from Dartmouth, whose mascot is the Big Green, we appreciate that. Watch now as the DCMB forms a highly amorphous shape to represent a Boola and plays that Yale alma mater, Yale Hula Boola.

BOOLA BOOLA AMOEBA