PREGAME

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that would rather sit and watch paint dry than go to Convocation, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

Well, here were are, on a beautiful Saturday morning. Today, the Big Green will take on that team from the little town next to Bethlehem - no, not Israel - Lehigh. Lehigh - known for its steel factories, steel plants, and discount steel warehouses. Watch now as the DCMB forms a symbolic slab of iron and plays the Lehigh alma mater, Ten Thousand Steel Workers of Lehigh.

SLAB FORMATION LEHIGH SONG

Thank you all for coming out to this game, and here are a few things to think about. First, this is the 100th year of the Dartmouth Marching Band. Second, it is Liz Hellman 's birthday on Monday. Last, and not least, a recent president was quoted as saying this year will be "The best year ever."

Will you please rise and join the marching band in the singing of our alma mater.

CONCERT FORMATION ALMA MATER

STAR SPANGLED BANNER

HALFTIME

And now, the only band in the Ivy League in this stadium today, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!

Every year, the Marching Band feels that not enough credit is given to some of the outstanding organizations on the campus. Be that as it may, we, the DCMB feel is only natural to want to lavish praise upon those organizations which serve the Dartmouth Community. Let's look at Thayer Hall. Mmmm Mmm. Such great food. Unlimited seconds. Sometimes you can even tell a dish without reading the label above it. Did you ever wonder why meal plans were mandatory for freshmen? Did you ever wonder why no half-sane upperclassmen even thinks of buying a meal plan? Anyway, to help you in the never-ending quest for knowledge, the DCMB presents a short lesson in identifying foods at Thayer Dining Hall. Watch now as the DCMB forms a piece of Thayer Chicken.

FORM CIRCLE

Now, watch as the Band forms a Tofu Taco.

FORM CIRCLE WITH SPROUTS

Now, the band will attempt to represent the Tuna Dream

OVAL SHAPED

Followed by the Sea Food Surprise

ADD CRAB LEGS

Gosh, all this food looks so good. But wait? Who's that coming on the field to check for sanitary food preparation? Oh no, It's the Department of Health, coming to revoke Thayer's new Pizza License. Watch now as the Band forms the Department of Health's solution to Avoiding the Thayer layer - Just Say No.

CIRCLE SLASH FORMATION PETER GUNN

After many people eat the creative dishes at Thayer, they often find themselves downright sick - Oops! Off to Dick's House, where you will be professionally examined and treated by at least a Pre Med student. You say you have an upset stomach? Try Motrin, they might say. You think you're pregnant? Motrin's your answer. Broken foot. Try some Motrin. Black plague? Motrin will kill it. STD's getting you down? Have a Motrin. You need a Safe Sex Kit? Here, have a Motrin instead. It really seems as if you take your life into your own hands at Dick's house. In fact, their remedies look like they were found on a fortune wheel. What? A wheel? Watch now as the DCMB forms a giant Motrin tablet and plays that alltime favorite television gameshow theme, Wheel of Fortune

MOTRIN TABLET FORMATION WHEEL OF FORTUNE

And speaking of Russian Roulette, how about that new intra-campus telephone system? When it was being thought out, it would allow students to be able to use the telephones in their rooms as soon as they got up to Hanover. But then... something went wrong. There was a $100 deposit. There is the problem of letting your account balance fall below $100. But if the phone system is so lousy for students, then why did the College do it? Very simple. Money. According to a recent estimate done by the Marching Band, if 2,000 people were to get phone service, that would mean that Dartmouth College would get $200,000. While you're worrying about whether or not your phone will be shut off, Dartmouth is earning some pretty decent interest for really doing nothing. Therefore, your mission - should you decide to accept it - is to try to make a long distance phone call from your room with your secret access code password... NO! Wait! That's impossible! Your mission is to try and complete ANY phone call from the new DartTalk Intracampus phone system.

PHONE FORMATION MISSION IMPOSSIBLE