Dartmouth Cycling Wiki | Profiles / Leon Maurer

Former Wiki Administrator and undisputed heavyweight Men D2 Vassar ECCC championship criterium champion OF THE WORLD!1!!!1

I was going so fast that you could see the length contraction predicted by special relativity.

For more about me in general, see my web page.

DOB: 4/26/1986
Year: '08
Major: Physics and Math
Blitz: LNM
Racing Class: D
Racing Since: 2005
Results:

Year	Race	Category	Result
2007	Vassar Crit	D	1?!?!
2007	Vassar RR	D	47
2007	Beanpot RR	D	36
2007	Bucknell Crit	D	6 (points!)
2007	Bucknell RR	D	28
2007	Rutgers Circuit	D2	21
2007	Rutgers Crit	D2	27
2007	Rutgers ITT	D	51
2006	Cornell Crit	D2	16
2006	Cornell RR	D2	22
2006	Beanpot Crit	D	37
2006	Beanpot RR	D	47
2006	Bucknell	D	DNF
2006	Lehigh	D2	24
2005	UNH Crit	D2	21
2005	UNH RR	D	DNF
2005	Army Crit	D2	21
2005	Army RR	D	41
2005	Beanpot RR	D	72

Leon Being Awesesome at the Beanpot RR	Photographic proof that someone is slower than Leon or just a yellow smudge?
Leon sucking major wheel at army.	Leon in the pack? WTF?
2004 Leon hauling lots of awesome.	2004 Saco Lake atop Crawford Notch.

I'd like to introduce now the featured intellectual of this profile. I'm sure that you'll all agree without any hesitation that Leon Maurer is the most brilliant philosophical genius that America has produced in almost 200 years, so perhaps a few words of biographical background might not be amiss. Leon was born the day of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster and was thus endowed with perhaps the most glorious goatee since the 1973 death of East German leader Walter Ulbricht. Recently, he has dedicated himself to various intellectual pursuits such as eating, laughing at people, collecting facts, and idly musing about the great questions of life. Of these activities, Leon is best at eating. In fact, it has been said that he has an insatiable appetite for food. A large portion of his time is also consumed by his failed attempts at musing: "Why are we here? Why not? Do I care? If Jimmy cracks corn, and nobody cares, why does he keep doing it? There are ~72,800 kernels in a bushel of corn. Me crack corn!" Without further ado: Leon Maurer!

Leon (to reader): "HA HA"

Leon shows off his intimidating facial hair. Unfortunately, no one was around to see it, having been dropped by his mind bogglingly aggressive acceleration off the back.