99 Problems

A Parody of Leonard v. Pepsico

If you're having legal problems, I feel bad for you son.

I got 99 problems but a contract ain't one ≠ hit me.

I got the Pepsico on the rat patrol

I just wanna make sure my points are gold.

The Man wants to make sure that jet ain't sold.

I'm the New Generation yo, this is how we roll.

I grew up in the 80's, wanna impress the ladies.

I saw the ad, it looked pretty bad

I be keepin the fad, I wanna pimp my pad.

So don't get mad, 'cause yo ad is sad.

I played the game, don't be lame

I sent you the letter, think you can do better?!?

Hell, it's a long shot, but I don't smoke pot

I'm on the line, not as high as a Georgia pine.

I just drank the drink and thank the think

I liked the fizz, you don't like the biz?

I'm down for fun, so don't duck and run

I won that jet, don't be upset

Sure it beats the bus

Why all the fuss?

You got the stuff

C'mon, give it up

Cause I know how to play rough

That ad was an offer, I got lots of points to proffer

I sent an acceptance, gave a remittance!

You say it was done in jest, and I should know the rest

Well, I'm reasonable, objective, yo!

You went Harvard, I bet you don't rake your yard

I don't know what you take me as

Or I don't understand the intelligence that Pepsi has

My lawyer's got class

He's gonna kiss some [pause]

But I got beef with this court, the law's a sport

If I don't play I canπt show

That I'm not slow, but your lawyer gotta go

Say what?!? Summary judgment?

We'll take this to the pavement!

Screw that decision, time for derision

Joy of Pepsi, say that in jest, I know the rest

Your ad's a joke, this gangsta's goin for Coke.