My name is Jack Merrill:
Gonna sing you a carol.
I'm from Frederick, Maryl,
and I like my hands sterile.

I aint' be knowin'
where my major beez goin';
I just keep on growin',
but I sing, I aint' rowin'. (see: Lobo)

I sleep, I run, I speak in tongues.
When I climb up ladders, I hold onto the rungs.
To charm you with my song, I open up my lungs.
Peace be with you all; my carol's sung(s).

FUN FACT: I played the role of Petruchio in my 3rd grade performance of "The Taming of the Shrew;" my acting career subsequently crashed and burned due to scathing reviews.