If Jon "Eyso" Lohse could sum up his life in one word, it would undoubtedly be "hirsute." Jon flaunts his famously furry frock with pride and honor, and, like a shepherd watching over his flock, devotes countless hours to its maintenance and upkeep. Indeed, this kRaZy mass of fur is of such an extreme size and complexity that it has attained a level of sentient intelligence usually reserved only for bottlenose dolphins. A recent interview with this fascinating creature yielded unexpected insights into Jon: his life, his story, his journey.

Q: What kind of adventure led Jon here, to the Dartmouth Aires?
A: I cannot say for sure. I can only offer three facts: Jon is majoring in Philosophy, is an avid classical trombonist, and is from central New Jersey. All else is obscured by the sands of time...
Q: I must say, for body hair, you have quite a certain rhetorical je ne sais quoi!
A: Why, thank you!
Q: You're welcome!