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Fall 2007 - Spring 2008 |
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Here we sit at Jews and Java,
Drinking our coffee that resembles Hot Lava.
We can't come up with a good Jewsletter theme,
Maybe because Starbucks doesn't have cream.
We survived Green Key and lived to tell,
Unfortunately we don't remember anything well.
We could talk about elections, that might be fun,
But they weren't a shit show like March's- dun dun DUN
We could talk about finals, those could be a gaff,
But thinking about all our work, it's too soon to laugh.
So as we sit here we have to apologize,
As our Jewsletter heads towards demise.
We know you look to us for your weekly humor,
So maybe instead of the Jewsletter we'll start a dirty rumor. (or maybe not)
and with that awkward ending... welcome to our new fall board!
President: Laurel Marcus '10
VP Programming : Mark Harris '09
VP Membership: Micaela Klein '10
VP Religion: Saul Zebovitz '11
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***Friday Mitzvah Opportunities***
Services @ 6:30 in the Sanctuary
Dinner @ 7:30 in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name
***Bagel Brunch***
Sunday 1:00 @ Hillel
***Monday Night Meetings***
Open Execs @ 5:00 in the new lounge
come. learn. take-over. - but literally this week:
SUMMER ELECTIONS!! @ 6:00
we'll be electing ALL positions for this summer (that means you '10s and mark, andrew, and mike)
send in nominations, come, and vote!
Nominations accepted so far:
- President - Anna Lugosch-Ecker, Chiara Klein, Ethan Lubka, Laurel Marcus
- VP Programming/ Executive Vice President - Anna Lugosch-Ecker, Ethan Lubka
- VP Religious Affairs and Education - Chiara Klein
- Israeli Affairs Coordinator - Eliza Varner
- House Manager - Mike Brown
- Treasurer - Ethan Lubka, Rachel Gozman
- Communications Coordinator - Eliza Varner
- Cooking Coordinator (not an executive board position) - Rachel Gozman
- JPBC Representative (not an executive board position)
*** CLAUDALLAH ***
May 25th, 5-8 pm
less the Havdallah bit, but still equally fun!
food and bonfire and games at claudia's house! come to this! you really want to!
* RSVP to Hillel ASAP so we can figure out driving! *
*** Folk Klezmer Cabaret Concert ***
one time only! Wednesday May 28 @ 7 pm
in FaulknerAuditorium (beneath Spaulding)
Detroit-Berlin transplant singer-songwriter Daniel Kahn and legendary Moscow avantgarde song bard Psoy Korolenko bring their new project, "The Unternationale," folk-klezmer cabaret in English, Russian, and Yiddish, to Dartmouth for a free concert. Sponsored by the Jewish Studies Program, the Russian Department and the Nadezhda T. Koroton Fund. For more information call 603-646-0475.
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Jew of the Week: Ethan Lubka '10 for calling it "The Hillel"
Goy of the Week: Laura Tabor '10... yes. (see the joke of the week)
Joke of the Week: (Jews making jokes)
http://www.thelonelyisland.com/awesometown/21questions.mp4
~MicAnna
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Jewish Studies has just added these fabulous courses for summer term 2008:
JWST10, History and Culture of the Jews I: The Classical Period, Wright at 9L (SOC/W)
JWST72/REL57, History of Heaven, Wright at 11 (TMV)
J. Edward Wright is a visiting professor from the University of Arizona. He previosly taught History of Heaven for the Religion Department here, and reviews can be found on the student assembly site.
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5th ANNUAL ISRAELI FILM FESTIVAL
MAY 26th and 27th in Carson L02
Chabad's annual Israeli Film Festival this year will feature four amazing, very current films: Joy (2005), The Band's Visit (2007), Nina's Tregedies (2003), and The Bubble (2007). All films will be in Carson L02, more detailed descriptions of the films are below.
Monday, May 26th:
************* 6pm
Joy 2005
Muchrachim Lehiyot Samech
Joy Levine lives in an old apartment that, in complete contrast to her, is shabby and worn-out on the outside while well-kept and filled with joy on the inside. Her life changes when she auditions for a TV show called "Gotta Be Happy". To her astonishment, she is chosen, and her mission is to throw a surprise party for her parents on the upcoming show. However, there is a price to pay for all this: she has to let the viewers into her private inner world and share with them an event that has been overshadowing her family\'s life and hers for the past 22 years; an event that made a tight-knit bunch of friends shun her parents, Chaya and Yitzhak Levine. The idyll expected from such a show is jeopardized by a string of events that threaten to shatter the already fractured family cell. But Joy takes the lead, and for once in a long time, someone is leading the Levines to a better place.
************* 8pm
The Band's Visit 2007
Bikur Ha-Tizmoret
On an ordinary day, the Alexandria Ceremonial Police Orchestra arrives in Israel from Egypt for a cultural event, only find there is no delegation to meet them, nor any arrangements to get to their destination of Petah Tiqva. When they find their own ride, they arrive instead at the remote town of Beit Hatikva. Stuck there until the next morning's bus, the band, lead by the repressed Tawfiq Zacharaya, gets help from the worldly lunch owner, Dina, who offers to put them up for the night. As the band settles in as best it can, each of the members attempts to get along with the natives in their own way. What follows is a special night of quiet happenings and confessions as the band makes its own impact on the town and the town on them
Tuesday, May 27th:
**************6pm
Nina's Tregedies 2003
Asonot Shel Nina
Sensitive 14 year-old Nadav is experiencing an intensely emotional time in his life. He has been asked by his wild, recently divorced mother Alona to move in with his Aunt Nina to help comfort her following the death of her husband in a terrorist attack. Nadav is happy to comply since he has a hopeless crush on his stunning aunt. Through his eyes, we share Nina's pain over the death of her husband, her joy at the kindling of a new romance, and her discovery that finding true happiness is never as easy as it seems.
**************8pm
The Bubble 2007
Ha-Buah
Three young Israelis, two guys and a girl, share an aprtment in Tel Aviv's hippest neighborhood: headstrong Lulu, who works in a bath products boutique; flamboyant Yali; who manages a trendy cafe; and brooding music store clerk Noam, who spends his weekends serving at checkpoints in the National Guard. When Noam meets and falls in love with a Palestinian man named Ashraf, he and his friends conspire to help Ashraf stay on in Tel Aviv illegally. They participate in a beach rally, celebrating a peaceful coexistence, and calling for an end to the occupation of Palestinian territories. But ultimately, their carefully constructed utopia is shattered by the political and social realities of the Middle East, and the constant outbursts of violence.
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
The Story of Greenkey:
In the beginning, there were no keys. The Earth was full of plants, animals, and people for eleven days, but something was missing. G-d looked around at the earth and suddenly it came to Him, "Let there be keys!" and there were keys made of pure copper. After coming up with such a creation G-d decided that perhaps keys were not the best invention after all, so he banished them all to the bottom of the sea.
A few centuries later a man named Mordecai Wright was making his escape from Egypt with a couple thousand Jews. He was tired and scared, especially since Pharaoh's army was nearby. He was pretty skeptical of this whole walking through a pathway in a sea that some guy named Moses had created but was doing it anyway. While he was walking he suddenly jumped with pain "OY GEVAULT. WHAT SCHLEMIEL PUT THIS GREEN* KEY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE [insert yiddish expletive here] SEA!"
*The key of course had corroded and turned green, because that's what happens to copper.
Mordecai decided to pick up the key so he could use it to find the guilty person...after all, he was in a group of Jews, someone was guilty, and everyone else was probably a lawyer (baziiing).
The key stayed in Mordecai's family and was passed from generation to generation until it fell into the possession of his greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat nephew twice removed Jimmy. Little Jimmy didn't know what he should do with it exactly but thought it was cool and old and so he decided to drink in celebration. Unfortunately, he got so wasted that he lost the green key.
Although the key is gone, the tradition lives on. So go out and hang out- see, there is a reason.
~MicAnna
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***Friday Mitzvah Opportunities***
Wine and Cheese @ 5:30 in the new lounge
Services @ 6:30 in the Sanctuary
Dinner @ 7:30 in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name
***Bagel Brunch***
Sunday 1:00 @ Hillel
***Monday Night Meetings***
Open Execs @ 5:00 in the new lounge
(come. learn. take-over.)
May 19th FALL ELECTIONS!! @ 6:00
(with food as usual)
we'll be electing:
- President (Fall/Winter)
- VP Programming (Fall/Winter)
- VP Membership (**Summer/Fall**)
- VP Religious Affairs (Fall/Winter)
send in nominations, come, and vote!
May 26th SUMMER ELECTIONS!! @ 6:00
we'll be electing ALL positions for this summer (that means you '10s and mark, andrew, and mike) aaaand..... send in nominations, come, and vote!
- President
- VP Programming/ Executive Vice President
- VP Religious Affairs and Education
- Israeli Affairs Coordinator
- House Manager
- Treasurer
- Communications Coordinator
- Cooking Coordinator (not an executive board position)
- JPBC Representative (not an executive board position)
***CLAUDALLAH***
May 25th, 5-8 pm
food and bonfire and games at claudia's house! come to this! you really want to!
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Jew of the week: Josh Jacobson for his Jew pride at Sigma Delt's Semi Dress party - and for wanting jew of the week more than anyone else.
Goy of the week: Ellen Ludlow for hanging out
Joke of the week: The Cow From Minsk
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."
The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"
The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."
4/29/2008
So at execs this week, we learned something new about our position: apparently, we are supposed to take pictures...and the rest of the execs were pretty adamant that we start doing that (hi laurel*).
*note: during the meeting laurel referred to herself as "god universe"
So without further adieu:
Welcome to the Making of the Jewsletter.
So since we're Jewish, of course we do this over dinner- no Hillel doesn't pay. We just wish they would (Micaela has $180 left on DBA- darn you Passover at the Pavilion! :::shakes fist::::)
(see photo one)
We then think of all of the witty things we are going to say. (See photo 2)
After a little while we start to get a little punchy (See photo 3)...we're not even gonna show you the picture of our fruit snack break...it's a little TOO crazy.
After reading Victoria's blitzes, we get down to the real work (See photo 4)
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THIS WEEK (so much!!!):
***Jews 'n' Java***
Wednesday 3-5 @ the Dartmouth Bookstore
Drink your coffee/chai/soy latte/apple juice and schmooze with exec board/general board/hillel members/complete strangers who don't realize we're holding an event and think maybe Hillel is a local private school
***Yom HaShoa***
Thursday 6:00pm-6:00am
join us to remember victims of the Holocaust as we project their names onto the Alumni Hall exterior.
Also, there will be a service sponsored by the UVJC at 8:30pm at the Roth Center
***Friday Mitzvah Opportunities***
Wine and Cheese @ 5:30 in the new lounge
Services @ 6:30 in the Sanctuary
Dinner @ 7:30 in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name
***Traditional Egalitarian Services***
Saturday Morning 10am in the sanctuary
Sunday Morning 8:15 in the Koreman library at the Roth Center
blitz "Eliana Fishman" to RSVP, or just show up!
***Rabbi Bob Alper and Azhar Usman: Comedy's Odd Couple***
Muslim-Jewish Stand-up Comedy
SATURDAY May 3 @ 8:00 pm
Alumni Hall
'11s, bring your parents!
co-sponsored with Al-Nur
check him our at www.bobalper.com
***Bagel Brunch***
Sunday 1:00 @ Hillel (also in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name)
***Monday Night Meetings***
Open Execs @ 5:00 in the new lounge
(come. learn. take-over.)
General Hillel Meetings @ 6:00
(good food, good people, good convo)
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IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE:
***Yom Hazikaron***
Wednesday, May 7th at 7pm in Carson L02
Join us for pizza and the movie "Promises"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282864/
***Yom Ha'atzmaut***
Morton Klein: "Israel at 60 - is peace possible?"
Thursday May 8th at 4:30 in Collis Commonground
Morton Klein is the President of the Zionist Organization of America
***Shabbat400***
Friday, May 9th at 7pm in Alumni Hall
Doors open at 6:45
Hillel and Chabad are teaming up to bring all 400 of Dartmouth's Jews together for one Shabbat dinner. Blitz "Chani Gray" if you can help cook.
PLEASE RSVP to "Shabbat400" BEFORE MAY 1st!
***RELAY FOR LIFE***
Friday May 9, right after
Join the Hillel Relay for Life team and help raise money and awareness to fight cancer!
go to http://main.acsevents.org/goto/dartmouthhillel
and click on "Join Our Team"
***ELECTIONS***
May 19th at 6pm: Pres and VP positions for next fall/winter
May 26th at 6pm: ALL POSITIONS FOR 08X (that means you '10s and mark and mike)
more information soon!
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Want to make $50? The UVJC needs four 21+ waiters for a Yom Haatzmaut celebration from 5:30-9pm on Sunday, May 4th. If interested, blitz Sarah Friedman at Sarah.f@Verizon.net
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Jew of the Week: David Nachman '09 and Mark Harris '09 for the promise of a great shabbat dinner this week!
Goy of the Week: Raymond Francis Padgett III for this link:
http://www.laundryview.com/lvs.php
Joke of the Week: in honor of First Year Family Weekend:
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on
braces?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still should have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Why can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard
it is to get this junk off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"All right, if you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with the hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other
kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss
your allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man,midnight is long
past your curfew!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"But it's your senior photograph! Couldn't you have done something
about your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"That's a good story! Now tell me where you've really been for the last
forty years."
-MicAnna
4/16/08
Last weekend we celebrated the 10th Anniversary of the Roth Center. What you didn't know is that our panel of highly trained and completely anonymous judges (known only by their pseudonyms: Micael and Chana) were hard at work. And the awards go to:
Best Dressed: That really cute old man with the sweater with the big D on it (we've heard of doing the decade....but how about...the century?)
Most Awkward Moment: When Rabbi called up those little girls on Saturday morning to open the ark....we wanted to cry. (and they actually did)
Sweetest Dude:
"When I was going to donate money to Dartmouth, I wanted to be the most popular donor, so naturally I wanted the Hinman Boxes - 'cause whos more popular than Hinman?! But then I realized its ok, because all the kids call it 'HB'"
Question we're still determining the answer to:
"How has the Roth Center impacted Jewish life at Dartmouth?" (blitz Meredith Druss '08 if you think we should set up a panel)
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THIS WEEK:
***Jews 'n' Java***
NOTE THE TIME CHANGE!
Thursday 1-3 @ the Dartmouth Bookstore
Drink your coffee/chai/soy latte/apple juice and schmooze with exec board/general board/hillel members/Dartmouth's new 2012 class!
***Friday Mitzvah Opportunities***
Wine and Cheese @ 5:30 in the new lounge
Services @ 6:30 in the Sanctuary
Dinner @ 7:30 in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name
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***Passover Seder***
Saturday, April 19th @ 8:00 pm
Hillel will cover more than half of the cost per person for dinner--but we need to ask you to pay for part with DBA dollars (not dash!). It will be $20 per person and the charge will not appear until after the seder.
* PLEASE RSVP ASAP with your DBA # (the one at the bottom of your ID that starts with "86")
Blitz "Chiara" or Hillel if you'd like to help lead a part of the seder (tons of english parts available) or lead your own smaller seder with some friends.
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***Monday Night Meetings***
Open Execs @ 5:00 in the new lounge
(come. learn. take-over.)
General Hillel Meetings @ 6:00
(good food, good people, good convo)
PLEASE NOTE: All of these events are open to prospies. in fact, they're aimed at prospies. so bring your '12s, meet some '12s, and convince them that they want to come to Dartmouth!
ALSO: the kitchen in the Roth Center (RC?) has been kashered for Passover so don't bring Hametz in! You can eat all the pasta and bread you want in the lounge until Saturday morning though.
SEE NOTE: from Rabbi about the sale of Hametz at the end.
FINALLY: because of passover, there will not be bagel brunch this week.
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To Keep in Mind:
***Break the Fast***
(commonly known as bread binge)
Sunday, April 27th at 8:30pm
***Bob Alper, Comedian***
Saturday, May 3rd in Collis Commonground @ 9pm
freshman, bring your parents!
co-sponsored with Al-Nur
check him our at www.bobalper.com
***Yom Hazikaron***
Wednesday, May 7th at 7pm in Carson L02
Join us for pizza and the movie "Promises"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282864/
***Yom Ha'atzmaut - Lecture by Morton Klein***
Thursday May 8th at 4:30 in Collis Commonground
Morton Klein is the President of the Zionist Organization of America
***Shabbat400***
Friday, May 9th at 7pm in Alumni Hall
Doors open at 6:45
Hillel and Chabad are teaming up to bring all 400 of Dartmouth's Jews together for one Shabbat dinner.
Please RSVP to Shabbat400 before May 1st!
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Want to make $50? The UVJC needs four 21+ waiters for a Yom Haatzmaut celebration from 5:30-9pm on Sunday, May 4th. If interested, blitz Sarah Friedman at Sarah.f@Verizon.net
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Jew of the Week: Rabbi Boraz for all the work he put into this weekend.
Honorary Jew of the Week: Claudia Palmer for being awesome, as usual
Anti-Semite of the Week: Ernest M. Hopkins. See why:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F0CEEDB1139F932A25752C1A961958260&sec=&spon=&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
Joke of the Week: Green Eggs and Ham
Ham and Eggs,
I'll Never see,
They are not KOSHER,
So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am.
But I'll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I'll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up in matzoh brie!
And in a boat upon the river,
I'll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you're a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!
love and kisses
-MicAnna
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Message from Rabbi Edward Boraz:
"Passover begins this Saturday evening, April 19th. Each year, I undertake on behalf of everyone the sale of the Hametz, assuming that I have the agency to do so by virtue of your affiliation with Hillel. The Torah commands that a person not own Hametz for the Passover period.
However, some may wish a more traditional agency and if so, please feel free to cut and paste the following and mail back to Hillel on or before 10:00 a.m. on Friday, April 18th.
The sale of the Hametz will take place to a non-Jew before 12:00 p.m. on Friday, April 18th.
I, the named person below, do hereby make and appoint Rabbi Edward Boraz, my true and lawful representative to act in my place and stead, for me and in my name in my behalf, to sell all hametz owned and possessed by me, knowingly or unknowingly, as stated in the Torah and defined by the sages of Israel. Rabbi Edward Boraz has the full authority and power to sell said hametz and to lease said place or places wherein said hametz may be found upon such terms and conditions as discretion dictates. Rabbi Edward Boraz has the full power and authority to assign or appoint a substitute or substitutes to act in my behalf with all the same powers, and authority that I have invested in the rabbi and I do hereby ratify and confirm all that Rabbi Boraz lawfully does or causes to be done by virtue of these presents."
Hag Sameach,
Rabbi
Edward S. Boraz, Ph.D.
Michael Steinberg '61 Rabbi of Dartmouth College Hillel
603-646-0361
JEWSLETTER 04/08/08:
The Great Kosher Cracker Crisis
First, a thank-you to Nicole Yunger-Halpern for answering last week's challenge "what's jewish about the guy-with-a-giraffe-in-the-bar" joke?
Her Answer: "The boy's chutzpah, rapier wit, and general smart-alecky-ness clearly demonstrates that he belongs to Dartmouth Hillel."
true story.
and now on to business a la Bubbe.
At meetings yesterday, in addition to the usual schmoozing and kvelling, us yidelas talked a little about Judaism at Dartmouth and our personal religious experiences. All was kvaln and fayn...OR SO WE THOUGHT...
It seems that this was all part of SOMEONE's (coughvictoriacough) plan to divert attention from the real oyfgabe here: THERE IS A NATIONAL SHORTAGE OF TAM TAM CRACKERS!
Now we're sitting here all fuhclempt about the fact that the one saving grace of Passover, those tam-ganeydn morsels of flakey goodness, will not be available this holiday. OY GEVALT! Apparently, the Manischewitz plant in Newark, New Jersey had an equipment glitch so stores are only selling the crackers they have left over from last year (yeah, we think that's pretty ekldik too). Since we have no aynfal what to do, we have decided our only choice is to place the shuldik on Hillel's own Jersey meydele, Rachel Gozman (oh and happy birthday :P ).
For the whole geshikte go to:
http://origin.mercurynews.com/ci_8807472
While we try not to worry our little keppis and keep it together here, why don't you check out some of the geshenishs going on this week:
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Events to put in your iCal as weekly repeats:
***Jews 'n' Java***
Wednesday 3-5 @ the Dartmouth Bookstore
Drink your coffee/chai/soy latte/apple juice and schmooze with exec board/general board/hillel members/complete strangers who don't realize we're holding an event and think maybe Hillel is a local private school
***Bagel Brunch***
Sunday 1:00 @ Hillel (also in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name)
***Monday Night Meetings***
Open Execs @ 5:00 in the new lounge
(come. learn. take-over.)
General Hillel Meetings @ 6:00
(gut food, gut people, gut convo)
(Friday Night Services are different this week - see below!)
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Events to look forward to this week (April 8-13)
***Nonie Darmish: "NOW THEY CALL ME INFIDEL"***
Wednesday, April 9th @ 7pm
Collis Common Ground
Egyptian-born author and activist Nonie Darwish will deliver a speech on the roots of Islamic jihad, religious tolerance, and women's rights in Islam. Darwish is the daughter of Lt. General Mustafa Hafez, former commander of Egyptian Army Intelligence in Gaza and leader of the fedayeen-- masterminds of numerous attacks against Israel. Raised in the Gaza Strip until she was eight, Darwish's family returned to Cairo after her father was killed by the Israeli Defense Forces. A graduate of the American University in Cairo, she now writes and lectures to raise awareness and promote peace between Arabs and Israelis. Nonie is the author of ''Now They Call Me Infidel: Why I Renounced Jihad for America, Israel and the War on Terror'' (2006). She has appeared on Al-Jazeera, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and numerous international media outlets.
Sponsored in part by the Horowitz Freedom Center and College Republicans
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=nonie+darwish&num=20
***UNMAKING THE AMERICAN JEW: SECULARISM, RACE, AND POPULAR CULTURE***
Lecture by Daniel Itzkovitz
Thursday, April 10
4:30 pm
Rockefeller Center II
Prof. Itzkovitz will speak about the "post-Jewish" in the context of American racial politics (in particular, Obama's "post-racial" campaign), recent popular culture, and theories of the secular. Sponsored by the Jewish Studies Program.
***Cleaning Party with our very own mensch Mark Harris!***
Thursday, 7:00 pm @ the Roth Center
help clean up the Roth Center so the alums think we're nice responsible dervakseners and give us more gelt (not the chocolate kind)
***Roth Center 10th Anniversary Celebration***
Begins this Friday April 11th. We will have Services as usual at 6:30.
Victoria is still looking for helpers to cook on friday for all of the alums. If interested, blitz "VF" or "Hillel"
There will also be lectures and panels throughout the weekend. More information soon.
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To Keep in Mind:
***Passover Seder***
Saturday, April 19th @ 8:00 pm
Hillel will cover more than half of the cost per person for dinner--but we need to ask you to pay for part with DBA dollars (not dash!). It will be $20 per person and the charge will not appear until after the seder.
PLEASE RSVP ASAP with your DBA # (the one at the bottom of your ID that starts with "86")
***Break the Fast***
(commonly known as bread binge)
Sunday, April 27th at 8:30pm
***Bob Alper, Comedian***
Saturday, May 3rd in Collis Commonground @ 9pm
freshman, bring your parents!
co-sponsored with Al-Nur
check him our at www.bobalper.com
***Shabbat400***
Friday, May 9th @ 7 pm, Location TBD
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also, this short survey on your opinion of Jewish life at Dartmouth and all things Hillel, and recieve a $20 itunes gift card!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=2Ekyjy7bNrOOTYUCcZG2FA_3d_3d
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Yidelah of the week: Sydney Ribot for her t-shirt: "Jesus Saves, Moses Invests"
Goy of the week: the Roth Center for turning 10! (oh wait...)
Joke of the week:
"A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man. Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder and asks, "Who wrote this?!!"
big wet kisses to all our little meshugganas!
-MicAnna
4/1/08
ELECTIONS SPRING 2008: Lets Hug-It-Out
First of all, we never got to give our speech for the communications chair election. If we had, it would have gone like this:
What do you call a mohel's bag?- a BRISKIT! (cue only anna laughing)
yeah, we think we're funny.
deal with it.
AND get excited for JEWSLETTER 08S!!!!!
Last night we elected a new board. Since elections left us feeling dead inside, we are hereby resigning as VP of Communications. Please blitz in your nominations. Except you Meredith, if you can wait until after we decide on a candidate to awkwardly nominate someone else, that would be great. K thanks.
Now, let us introduce you to the JEW kids on the block:
Chiara "gives a new meaning to the dartmouth 7"
Klein (Green Key Rep)
Sarah "rule 1: never leave another board-
meeting crasher behind" Lawson
(Community Service and JPBC Rep)
Max "Vishnu" Gelb (Treasurer)
Mark "someday we'll find someone to
oppose you
for houseman" Harris (Houseman)
Maya "remember that time you went to
camp
with micaela?" Granit (Israeli
Affairs Coordinator)
Brielle/Mike "no really. who nominated
us?"
Milano/Brown (Cooking Coordinator)
?????? "no seriously. there is currently
an open
position" ????? (VP of Communications)
Oh yeah, there are also some randos that maybe you want to know about....
President: Victoria Fener '08
VP of Programming: David Nachman '09
VP of Religion and Education: Chiara Klein '10
VP of Membership: Laurel Marcus '10
okay. that's done. motion to never hold elections again? seconded.
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Events to put in your iCal as weekly repeats:
***Jews 'n' Java***
Wednesday 3-5 @ the Dartmouth Bookstore
Drink your coffee/chai/soy latte/apple juice and schmooze with exec board/general board/hillel members/complete strangers who don't realize we're holding an event and think maybe Hillel is a local private school
***Friday Mitzvah Opportunities***
Wine and Cheese @ 5:30 in the new lounge
Services @ 6:30 in the Sanctuary
Dinner @ 7:30 in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name
***Bagel Brunch***
1:00 @ Hillel (also in the room behind the Sanctuary that doesnt actually have a name)
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Events to look forward to this week (April 1-6)
*** WOMEN OF FAITH ***
A Panel Discussion with Dartmouth Female Student Religious Leaders
Hosted by the Multi-Faith Council.
(featuring our very own Meredith Druss!)
Come hear perspectives on being a woman, a person of faith, and a student leader at Dartmouth.
Tuesday April, 1st 8 - 9:30 PM Brace Commons.
***"Along Come the Tourists"***
("Am Ende kommen Touristen") by Robert
Thalheim
Film Screening, followed by a discussion with the director
Saturday, April 5, at 6:00 pm
105 Dartmouth Hall
German and Polish, with English subtitles
We know what it's about...do you?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0775417/
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To Keep in Mind:
***The Week of April 7th (Day and Time TBD)***
we will need some extra hands to do some menial "house"work-type stuff (cleaning out a hanging closet or two,
dusting, organizing, etc.) in preparation for the Tenth Anniversary Celebration
Weekend. Please blitz 'Mark J. Harris' to help out. Stay as long
as you can. More information next week.
***UNMAKING THE AMERICAN JEW: SECULARISM, RACE, AND POPULAR CULTURE***
Lecture by Daniel Itzkovitz
Thursday, April 10
4:30 pm
Rockefeller Center II
Prof. Itzkovitz will speak about the "post-Jewish" in the context of American racial politics (in particular, Obama's "post-racial" campaign), recent popular culture, and theories of the secular. Sponsored by the Jewish Studies Program.
***Roth Center 10th Anniversary Celebration***
April 11th at 7:30: special friday night dinner with tons of alums and community members (volunteers to help cook greatly appreciated)
There will also be lectures and panels throughout the weekend. More information soon.
***PASSOVER Seder***
Saturday, April 19th. more details coming soon....
If you are interested in joining us to wander for 40 years, meet behind Robo on 4/19 at 3:30 pm.
ALSO: The woman who needed a bone marrow transplant found a donor--thanks to everyone who signed up for the registry!
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Joke of the Week:
A young jewish boy walks into a bar with a giraffe, they both sit down and order almost everything off the menu. They eat the bar snacks and laugh jovially. When it comes time to pay and leave, the boy does and leaves. Before he can get out of the door, the bartender demands "Hey you cant just leave that lying there!!" the boy then says "It's not a lion its a giraffe."
(we're not really sure why this is jewish....please blitz in responses- best response may win next week's jew of the week)
Jew of the Week: Rabbi Gordon Tucker (he is super sweet. thanks so much for the 30 people who turned out to hear him speak!)
Goy of the Week: this guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTESJYXx6rQ
okay. loveyalots. BFFAEAETDDUP.
-MicAnna
Monday, March 3, 2008
Shalom culam!! (Hi Everyone!)
Hope everybody is enjoying their final week of class and this timely break from finals studying...
Here's the deal at Hillel...
ELECTIONS:
Congratulations to the new members of the Executive Board!!!
President: Victoria Fener '08
VP Programming: David Nachman '09
VP Religion: Chiara Klein '10
VP Membership: Laurel Marcus '10
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
**Purim Ball**
Tuesday, March 4th
8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Hanover Inn, Daniel Webster Room
DJ Liquid Courage
Special Guest CASUAL THURSDAY at 9pm
Come in costume!
Food, drinks, hamentaschen
OPEN BAR for 21+ (bring valid ID)
PROGRAMMING:
****PURIM BALL**** TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY come the Dartmouth Bookstore from 3:00-5:00 and join us for JEWS AND JAVA!
THURSDAY, Come to the Roth Center @ 6:00 for J CREW! Free dinner and great people every week!
FRIDAY, Official Candle Lighting @ 4:45, with some WINE & CHEESE @ 5:00.
Followed by SERVICES @ 6 and DINNER @ 7!
BAGEL BRUNCH on SUNDAY @ 1, great break from last minute crash studying for finals!!
PAVILION:
To get more of us out to the Pav, here's the menu for the next couple days...
WED: Lunch- Sauté Bar, Grilled Pastrami on Sourdough, Matzo Ball Soup, Challah: Dinner- Steak Night!
THU: Lunch- Baked Cod, Dinner- Beef Stir Fry
FRI: Lunch-Grill, Dinner- Closed, Go to Hillel!
JOKES:
(This one care of Dana Silberstein '08's grandfather):
A father took his kid into a synagogue and showed him the memorial wall. The
kid asked why some of the names had stars after them. The father explained that they were the names of those who had died in service. The kid asked: "Friday night service or Saturday morning?"
Ha ha!
If They Had A Jewish Mother...
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you
call a smile?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't
write and you forgot my birthday!"
MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the
other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off
the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out
of your jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the
other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can
kiss your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight
is long past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with
your hair?"
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty
years?"
BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica!"
Peace and Ahava,
Max
Monday, February 25th, 2008
***********************************************************************************
Howdy yall!!!
This Jewsletters gonna be more packed than a Saturday afternoon in Norman at a Sooner football game so bear with me (and if you have no idea what I just referred to learn your college football please!!!)
Alright we're off to the races:
*********THIS WEEK********
TUES: FAITH AND SEXUALITY Panel and Discussion.
8:00 to 9:30 PM
Fahey/McLane Commons, Ground Floor Lounge
Dessert Provided
Featuring:
Ryan Bouton: Campus Minister for Dartmouth's Christian Impact, R. David Coolidge: Muslim Advisor at Dartmouth College,Dr. Ashmita Khasnabish: Women's Studies Research Center Brandeis University, The Rev. Nancy Vogele: Rector of St. Paul's Episcopal Church White River Junction
WEDS: Jews and Java 3-5pm
Come to the Dartmouth Bookstore to get that caffine fix to write that 15 page research paper on the Cather Heresy in France (on that note if anyone knows anything about the Cathers blitz Lucyp because I am dying!!!)
WEDS: COOKING FOR DAVID'S HOUSE
JCrew is leading this community service project in which we cook for families staying at David's House while their children are being treated at DHMC. Come do something nice for someone else... it makes you feel like gooey chocolate cake on the inside!
TIME TBA!!! BLITZ HILLEL IF INTERESTED
FRI: HILLEL VS. AQUINAS HOUSE WII
2-4 @ the Tucker Foundation, aka come kick some Aquinas booty playing games that rot your brain and are one of the main causes for the childhood obesity problem in this country!!!!
FRI: SERVICES AND DINNER
Wine and Cheese @ 5:00
Services @ 6:00
Dinner @ 7:00
PLEASE BLITZ THE HILLEL ACCOUNT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP LEAD SERVICES or COOK DINNER
*********LOOKING AHEAD********
TUESDAY, MARCH 3: PURIM BALL
8-11 @ the Hanover Inn
FREE DRINKS FOR THOSE 21+ WITH ID!!!
FREE FOOD
COSTUMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
aka come to a very swanky Hillel affair at the Hanover Inn with free drinks folks!! I mean really what could be better than hot Jews in costume and free booze!!
Please blitz hillel if you would like to help with decorations!
SUNDAY, MARCH 30: "RECONCILING JEWISH AND MODERN ISSUES" with Rabbi Gordon Tucker
"Gordon Tucker is a prominent rabbi, with a reputation as both a political and a theological liberal in Conservative Judaism" (as stated on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Tucker).
He'll be here March 30 to hold a discussion of various approaches to religious law in Judaism. He'll particularly focus on ideas about moral intuitions -- especially those that are widely shared -- and what their religious status could and should be.
APRIL 4-5: Ivy League Wide Conservative Jewish Retreat. Leave Friday, spend friday night, come back Saturday. PLEASE BLITZ HILLEL IF AT ALL INTERESTED!!!
Jewish Jokes of the Week
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Yeshiva University's new rowing team was the embarrassment of the entire sports department (which wasn't so hot to begin with!) They not only finish dead last in every competitio, but consistently cross the finish line many minutes, even hours, after their opponents. Finally, they send Goldfarb to spy on the top-rated Harvard Crew team, in the hopes of gaining some helpful insight. Lurking in the Cambridge boathouse, he watches the team practice in the Charles River. For an entire week he observes their methods.
Finally, he returns to New York, where his teammates gather anxiously to hear his information.
"I figured out their secret!" he tells them excitedly.
"Nu!? Tell us! Tell us!" demand his teammates, impatiently.
"They have eight guys rowing," he pronounces, authoritively."and only ONE guy yelling!!"
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Yankel is on his way home on the train. A young Jewish man is sitting across from him. For most of the trip, they sit in silence, until finally the young man asks Yankel the time. Yankel ignores him. The young man asks again, and again Yankel ignores him.
The man says, "Sir, I can plainly see you're wearing a watch. Why won't you tell me the time?"
"Listen, young man, I'm getting off at the next stop, which you obviously are, too, since it's the last stop on this route. Although you're a stranger to me now, if I answer you, we'll get into a conversation. The next thing you know, I'll invite you to my home. I happen to have two beautiful daughters and you're an attractive young man. One of my beloved girls will probably fall in love with you, and you with her. The next thing you know, you'll want to get married. And frankly, I don't want a son-in-law who can't even afford his own watch."
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Thats all folks. Make it a mission to do more fishing! BOOMER SOONER!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Hey everybody!
Somehow, only two weeks left in the term, and I'm sure everybody's busy, so here's a quick look at everything happening in Hillel this week...
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Remember that the lovely Claudia Palmer is too generously inviting us all over to her house this Saturday evening for CLAUDALLAH!! This is a MUST! Further details to follow...
PROGRAMMING:
WEDNESDAY come the Dartmouth Bookstore from 3:00-5:00 and relax with JEWS AND JAVA!
THURSDAY, Freshmen come to the Roth Center @ 6:00 for J CREW! Free dinner, and the food, people, and good times have been getting better every week!
FRIDAY, Official Candle Lighting @ 4:45, with some classy WINE & CHEESE @ 5:00.
Followed by SERVICES @ 6 and a delicious DINNER @ 7!
SATURDAY CLAUDALLAH @ 6:15, meeting at the Roth Center!
BAGEL BRUNCH on SUNDAY @ 1, great break from studying and the perfect place to pick up brunch before a Sunday skate on Occom!
MONDAY executive board meeting @ 5 and GENERAL MEETING and DINNER @ 6. Hope to see everyone there!
PAVILION:
To get more of us out to the Pav, here's the menu for the next couple days...
WED: Lunch- Sauté Bar, Grilled Pastrami on Sourdough, Matzo Ball Soup, Challah: Dinner- Steak Night!
THU: Lunch- Baked Cod, Dinner- Beef Stir Fry
FRI: Lunch-Grill, Dinner- Closed, Go to Hillel!
JOKES:
Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?
A: Filet minyan.
A wealthy Jewish man buys a fabulous home in Beverly Hills, California. He brings in a local workman to decorate the place.
When the job is finished, the homeowner is delighted but realizes that he's forgotten to put mezuzahs on the doors.
He goes out and buys 50 mezuzahs and asks the decorator to place them on the right hand side of each door except for the bathrooms.
He's really worried that the decorator will chip the paint work or won't put them up correctly.
However, when he comes back a few hours later, he sees that the job has been carried out to his entire satisfaction.
He's so pleased that he gives the decorator a bonus. As the decorator is walking out of the door he says, "Glad you're happy with the job..." "By the way, I took out the warranties in each one and left them on the table for you!"
Peace and Ahava,
Max
Wednesday, Feb. 13, 2008
So Winter Carnival is over...
back to all work and no play.... what's a Jew to do to beat the cold snowy blues?
...check out fun hillel stuff all day!!!
yes that was my fabulous poetic ability... don't judge... instead come to some of our events.. word...
Weds: Jews and Java 3-5 @ the Dartmouth Bookstore
...but it's too far, Lucy!
- No, no its not. The distance between Collis and the bookstore is definitely shorter than the distance between the fridges and the cashier during Collis lunch rush.
...but i don't drink coffee!
- OK, I'm going to assume that if you've made it through at least a term and a half of dartmouth life, you drink some kind of caffeinated beverage. Or you're a health nut. Regardless, your coffee/chai/soy this and that/ crazy combo drink that drives the barristas and people behind you mad...will be free at jews and java!
Thurs: JCrew: 6:45
lots of oh-leven Jews...Hot Stuff!
Friday: Services and Dinner
Start the weekend off on a good foot... that way you don't feel so bad about yourself come Sunday morning.
5:00 Wine and Cheese in the amazingly trendy new lounge... watch out for paparazzi folks
6:00 Services
7:00 Dinner
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Events on the Horizon!
Purim Ball: Tuesday, March 4th
blitz the hillel account if you want to help out, there's a night of free drinks in it for you! (21+ must show id)
Jewish and Muslim Comedy Show
Saturday, May 3rd -- it's the weekend of first year family weekend.
More details to come on what should be an insanely cool event. Mark your google calenders folks!
Shabbat 400
May 9th
400 Jews celebrating Shabbat eat dinner together!
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Jewish Jokes of the Week
Q: Why is it important for the groom to stamp on a glass?
A: Because it's the last time he'll put his foot down.
A proud young mother sees off her son to school on the first day.
"Be a good boy, my boobaleh! Be careful and think of mummy, sweetest! Come right home on the bus, honey! Mummy loves you very much, baby!
At the end of the day, she's waiting for the bus and sweeps him into her arms. "And what did my love learn on his first day at school?"
"I learned that my name is David."
I'm out... make it your mission to do more fishin'
Lucy Pollard-resident jewish rep for the state of oklahoma
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008
Hey yall: I hope everyone is hanging in there through midterms..... Just keep thinking Winter Carnival Winter Carnival Winter Carnival.... thats what I'm doing and its kind of keeping me from imploding.
Alright.... the fabulous Hillel Calender for the week:
*********** Weds: Jews and Java 3-5pm **************
Come chill out at the Dartmouth Bookstore with some of the hottest Jews on campus. Bring friends!!! Oh yeah, most importantly, get some decent non DDS coffee on the Hillel Tab.
************* Thurs: J-CREW 6:45 ******************
For all you 11s out there who haven't had the J-CREW experience yet (and I do not mean shopping the clearance sales at jcrew.com... different jcrew ladies), come on by the Roth Center and check it out!
************** Friday: Hot Chocolate and Cookies @ the Roth Center 12:00pm ***************
aka the Roth Center volunteers to be basecamp for all the nutters who do the Polar Bear jump into Occum Pond. If you plan to be one of these nutters, run, not walk to the Roth Center, after you get out to avoid death by hypothermia. If you want to watch the nutters, grab some hot chocolate and cookies to keep warm!
***************** Friday: Services and Dinner **********************
Because its Winter Carnival, we are ordering in this week (yay takeout!!!) Exact type of food TBA. So come to services and actually do something productive on your Winter Carnival Weekend!
************* Upcoming Events to keep in Mind: *****************
- Sat, Feb 23: **CLAUDALLAH** (Havdallah at Claudia's house!)
Come to dinner at the lovely home of everybody's favorite hillel mom: Claudia... please RSVP to Hillel so we can figure out transportation.
-Blitz the Hillel Account if you want to help plan the Purim Ball!!!
JOKES OF THE WEEK!!!
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A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are on display in open caskets.
Priest: I would like someone to say "He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous."
Minister: I would like someone to say "He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners."
Rabbi: I would want someone to say "Look, he's moving."
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The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Ehud Olmert, the leader of Israel.
"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, "Mr. Olmert wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.
"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Olmert as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness," said the golfer.
"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.
"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I've ever played, by far. I must've been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, and my putting was absolutely perfect.With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."
"And there's bad news?", the Pope asked.
"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three strokes."
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Thats all from my neck of the woods. Make it your mission to do more fishin'!!!!!
Lucy
Tuesday, Jan 29, 2008
Shalom!
Dedicating this Jewsletter Super Bowl Edition to Tom Brady's imaginary sprained ankle (And a GIANTS Victory)...
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PROGRAMMING:
WEDNESDAY from 3:00-5:00 (NEW TIME) relax with a book, coffee, and friends at Dartmouth Bookstore for JEWS AND JAVA!
THURSDAY J Crew and great food at 6:45! 11's, no better way to get a free dinner and break from cramming for mid-terms...
FRIDAY, Official Candle Lighting at 4:45, and our second installment of the very successful WINE & CHEESE at 5:00.
Followed by SERVICES at 6 and dinner cooked by the Men of Dartmouth Hillel at 7!
BAGEL BRUNCH on SUNDAY at 1, and enjoy rooting on the Pats of the Giants in the Super Bowl!!
MONDAY executive board meeting at 5 and GENERAL MEETING and DINNER at 6. Great food and everyone is encouraged to come!
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ANNOUNCEMENTS:
2 short things...:
Meredith wrote this part, so if it sounds stupid, don't blame Max.
1. The NEW hillel student lounge is SWEET. 3 new computahs, 1 big screen tv, dvd playah, board games, stocked fridge, and amazingly comfortahble couches. Sleep there, study there, just come check it out! ps. If it's locked, you'll need the code to get in, blitz Hillel if you want the code.
2. Get cooking at Hillel. On Friday nights. Buy food (kosha!), cook food (for like 50 ppl) and then eat it and take home the leftovers! Blitz Hillel if you're interested in cooking a Friday night meal. We give you credit card, you get to cook whatever you want!
...and 1 long thing:
For anyone who is interested, on THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, Dr. Alan Rosen, who teaches Holocaust literature at Bar-Ilan University in Jerusalem, will give a workshop at Dartmouth on pre-WWII Jewish literature of Eastern Europe, on its roots in Yiddish culture at the time, and on how it prepared the way for the Jewish literary response to the Holocaust. Should be a very engaging event, so get involved!
If you wish to register (no later than FEBRUARY 1) for Dr. Rosen's workshop, please go to this page and scroll to the bottom:
http://www.keene.edu/cchs/t_resources/profdevelopment.cfm
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PAVILION:
To get more of us out to the Pav, here's the menu for the next couple days...
WED: 2 for 1 Cookies! Lunch- Corned Beef Sandwich, Dinner- Steak Night!
THU: Lunch- Baked Cod, Dinner- Beef Stir Fry
FRI: Lunch-Grill, Dinner- Closed, Come to Hillel!
ps. Meredith will be eating at the Pav on Wednesday. Get there before the cookies are gone.
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JOKES:
1) A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful. What part is it?"
The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
2) An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel.
As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the
driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he
was, he didn't say anything, feeling himself a 'guest' and not wanting to
make waves.
The trip continued without event until the next intersection.
This time the light was green and, to the American's dismay, the cab
driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt.
Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver. "Listen", he
says, "When you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But
why on earth are you stopping at a green light?" The Israeli driver looks
at the American as if he was deranged. "Are you crazy?!" he shouts. "The
other guy has a red light! Do you want to get us killed?!"
Peace and Ahava,
Max
January 15th, 2008
Hi everybody! Max Gelb here, one half of the new Communications duo, who will be sending you your weekly Jewsletters this term. So glad to be with you! Plenty of Hillel and general news and events to report this week, so here goes...
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Hillel is sponsoring a Spring Break Trip to New Orleans (March 16-21) to volunteer with the relief and rebuilding efforts for Katrina relief. This is a great opportunity, and only costs an all inclusive $200. Blitz Hillel for further details.
Come to the Roth Center to check out the new student lounge. New computers, new furniture, new fridge, its a comfortable place to come study and just hang out!
Also, blitz the Hillel account if you are interested in cooking for a Friday night meal! You'll get to buy and make whatever you'd like as long as it is Kosher....and, we pay for it!
ELECTION RESULTS:
Congratulations to the newly elected executive board members!
Nick Gottleib '11 as House Manager
Alicia Modeen '10 as Cooking Coordinator
and my co-Communications Chair Lucy Pollard '10, who you'll hear from in next week's Jewsletter!
PROGRAMMING:
For this week's programming, there will be a TORAH STUDY session with Rabbi this TUESDAY at 12:00 NOON
WEDNESDAY from 2:00-4:00 get out of the snow and cold and warm up with JEWS AND JAVA!
THURSDAY J Crew elections and great food at 6:45. Easy and fun way to get involved!
As usual, FRIDAY SERVICES at 6 followed by a delicious dinner at 7.
BAGEL BRUNCH on SUNDAY at 1
MONDAY executive board meeting at 5 and GENERAL MEETING AND DINNER at 6. All are welcome!
JEWISH JOKE OF THE WEEK:
And for some good old fashioned Jewish humor...
The dutiful Jewish son is sitting at his father's bedside. His father is near death.
Father: "Son."
Son: "Yes Dad."
Father: (weakly) "Son. That smell. Is your mother making my favourite cheese cake?"
Son: "Yes Dad."
Father: (even weaker) "Ah, if I could just have one more piece of your mum's cheese cake. Would you get me a piece?"
Son: "OK, Dad."
(Son leaves and walks toward kitchen. After a while the son returns and sits down next to his father again.)
Father: "Is that you son?"
Son: "Yes Dad."
Father: "Did you bring the cheese cake?"
Son: "No Dad."
Father: "Why? It's my dying wish!"
Son: "Well Dad. Mom says the cake is for after the funeral."
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Q: What's a Jewish wife's favorite thing to make for dinner?
A: Reservations
Please blitz any Jewish jokes or nominations for Jew or Goy of the week! We'd love to hear your suggestions.
Peace and Ahava,
Max
JEWSLETTER Wednesday, Dec. 5
This is the "finals" edition of Jewsletter. This means that I have too many finals and too much stress in my life to write witty comments about the events. And I'm sure you don't have the time to read more than the bare minimum. So here we go: the essentials of Judaism at Dartmouth this week:
Tonight 8 PM--Hanukkah candle-lighting @Novack*
Find Chiara Klein, or just look for a Hanukkiah (aka menorah) and go to it.
Thursday (tomorrow)--NO Jcrew.
****Candlelighting on the Green with President Wright at 5:15**** tomorrow!
Friday--Shabbat services and dinner 6/7 PM @Roth Center
Prayer and food.
*Every night of Hanukkah, Hillel will hold a candle lighting in a different location on campus. Keep an eye out for a blitz on each night of Hanukkah for the location.
Announcements:
-Thank you to everyone who helped out and attended the Hanukkah Ball. It was a HUGE success, with the highest attendance of all the years that the Ball has existed. Special thanks to everyone on the set up and clean up crews.
-There are 2 attachments in this Jewsletter:
>the first is a course description for a class in the Jewish Studies dept which will be offered next term.
>the second attachment is a sick Israeli song, a solid addition to your iTunes. Called Tikva--"Hope" by Subliminal
I hope you all enjoyed this term's Jewsletters--its been a pleasure writing for you. Good luck with finals and end of term stuff. And of course, HAPPY HANUKKAH!!! Don't forget to celebrate :)
Jewishly Yours,
Laurel Marcus '10
Videos courtesy of Anna-Lugosch Ecker '10
(in place of Jewish jokes)
(But these really are Jewish jokes, only in the form of video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXKptAeV7S4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3ubVzb1ZMg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q7R_O7EgmeM
Jewsletter--Wednesday, November 28
This week, I am starting the tradition of including an Israeli song in the Jewsletter, for your listening pleasure. So don't forget to open the attachment or you'll miss out on all the fun!
Hanukkah Gift Exchange "a revised Secret Santa"--sign up by tonight at midnight!!!
Exchange will take place at 8 PM Tuesday, Dec. 4 @Roth Center
You sign up. We give you the name of someone else who signed up. You buy them a gift. Someone buys you a gift. It's quite simple really, and comes with fun surprises. $10 limit, and you might make a friend. Blitz "vf" if you want to sign up.
JCrew--6:45 Thursday @Roth Center
The last time this term you 11's have the chance to meet that perfect Jewish man/woman. Given, there is always next term, but the sooner the better.
Food, drinks, and loud chatter.
Shabbat Dinner and Services--6:00/7:00 PM Friday @Roth Center
A good time to pray for easy finals and good grades, then fill up on some quality home-cooked food.
Bagel Brunch--1 PM Sunday @Roth Center
We buy out Bagel Basement to feed you. Make that enormously large purchase worth it!
Bagels + Cream cheese + OJ.
Hanukkah Ball--8-11 PM Monday, December 3 @Hanover Inn (Daniel Webster Room)
We're bringing classy back. Leave those basements full of keystone and don your formal attire (or borrow from a friend). Come to the Hanover Inn for food, drinks, dancing, and good times. Latkes, sufganiyot (jelly donuts), cheese and crackers, and free drinks. OPEN BAR for those 21+ so bring your valid state/government IDs.
ANYONE CAN COME!!! Bring your friends, tell your neighbors, invite a date. This is open to the campus.
***Bring a toy for the toy drive***
Candle Lightings for Hanukkah--8 PM starting Tuesday, Dec. 4
Get ready for a campus-wide bombardment of Hanukkah. Check your blitzes each night starting next Tuesday to see where Chiara Klein '10, VP Religion, is lighting the candles. Will she strike Collis? Novack? Top of the Hop? Mid-Mass? That's all part of the fun.
For the first night of Hanukkah, there will be two lightings, one at 4:00 PM (sundown) and another at 8:00 PM.
General Announcements:
-Congrats to Saul Zebovitz '11, Hillel's new VP of Religious Affairs and Education
-Next week there will be NO Hillel General Meeting. Instead, you should come to the Hanover Inn to celebrate Hanukkah at the Hanukkah Ball!
-If you have nominations for Jew or Goy of the week, blitz Laurel Marcus '10. Self calls are welcome. Also, for any Jewish/Hillel related announcements or Jewish jokes you want to see in the Jewsletter, blitz Laurel Marcus.
-Jew of the Week: Lucy Pollard '10 for rocking at life and having a cool new scar (you can ask her for the scar story).
-Goy of the Week: Alex Chan '10 for always honoring the He-brews and She-brews.
This video may make you cry from utter happiness and hilarity, so it counts as a joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8HvhJ5Os6w
Jewish Joke: The Jewish Dog (courtesy of Max Gelb '11)
A man walks into shul with a dog.
The shammas comes up to him and says,
"Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."
"What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look."
And the shammas looks carefully and sees, that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck, this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.
"Rover," says the man, "kippah!"
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kippah and puts it on his head. "Rover," says the man, "tallis!"
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.
"Rover," says the man, "daven!"
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.
"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies; he could make millions of dollars!!
"You speak to him," says the man, "he wants to be a doctor."
Jewsletter Wednesday, 11/14
Paul Farmer Lecture--tonight 7:45 @ Leede Arena
MacArthur Genius PAUL FARMER, subject of the book Mountains Beyond Mountains
** Hillel is cosponsoring Paul Farmer's visit--if you are interested in volunteering to count people coming in from 7-7:45, please blitz Anna Lugosch-Ecker '10 PRONTO. You are guaranteed admission if you volunteer.
J-Crew Meeting Thursday 6:45 @ Roth Center
Come chill with other Jewish freshmen so that when you go home for Thanksgiving, you can tell your parents that you met a nice Jewish girl/boy with whom you hope to find a future. Or a sick group of Jewish friends with whom you eat free food. Either way, they'll be thrilled.
VOICES OF FAITH--Thursday 6-7 PM @Collis Commonground
Student Panel on the Life of Faith at Dartmouth
TOY (Taste of Yisrael)--Thursday 8 PM @Sigma Nu
First of the year! Find out what all the hype is about.
Featuring: hummus and pita, discussion about Israel, hookah if you want.
Shabbat services and dinner--Friday 6:00/7:00* @Roth Center
***Note the change in time! If you show up early, you'll have to help cook (which is actually more of a reward than a punishment, so it's a good deal for you).
We're all in need of a little spirituality once in a while. Make this Friday your "once" in a while. And as always, a delicious home-cooked meal to follow.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @ Roth Center
Bagels from Bagel Basement and real OJ from the Co-op vs. bagels from Novack and OJ from a juice machine. Amongst the easier decisions you'll have to make in your time at Dartmouth.
General Hillel Meetings--Mondays 6-7 PM @ Roth Center in the basement
Low on DBA? Come to meetings--there's a meal in it for you.
Chanukkah Ball--Monday, December 3 8:00-11:00 PM @Hanover Inn
Yeah, that's right. The HANOVER INN. As classy as they come. In celebration of one of the classier (or at least most fun) Jewish holidays that exists.
Open bar if you're 21+ (please bring an ID!)
We still need volunteers to make this event happen--decorators, advertisers, Chanukkah buffs, etc. Please blitz the Hillel account if you're interested.
Jew of the Week: Chiara Klein '10 for ripping it up in Dartmouth production of HAIR (get tickets for a show!!!).
Goy of the Week: Emmy Bengtson '10 for always believing that Jewish boys are the best.
Joke #1
A wealthy Jewish man buys a fabulous home in Beverly Hills, California. He brings in a local workman to decorate the place.
When the job is finished, the homeowner is delighted but realizes that he's forgotten to put mezuzahs on the doors.
He goes out and buys 50 mezuzahs and asks the decorator to place them on the right hand side of each door except for the bathrooms.
He's really worried that the decorator will chip the paint work or won't put them up correctly.
However, when he comes back a few hours later, he sees that the job has been carried out to his entire satisfaction.
He's so pleased that he gives the decorator a bonus. As the decorator is walking out of the door he says, "Glad you're happy with the job..." "By the way, I took out the warranties in each one and left them on the table for you!"
Joke #2
A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to G-d.
The man asked, "G-d, what's a million years to you?"
And G-d said, "A minute."
Then the man asked, "Well, what's a million dollars to you?"
And G-d said, "A penny."
Then the man asked, "G-d ... can I have a penny?"
And G-d said, "Sure ... In a minute."
Jewsletter Wednesday, November 7
J-Crew--Thursday 6:45 @ Roth Center
Freshmen, this is your own exclusive club: free food, free facilities, and free labor/guidance provided by Micaela Klein '10. All you need to do is show up and eat.
Shabbat services and dinner--Friday 6:00/7:00* @Roth Center
******Note the change in time! Not a typo, my friends.
Winter is closing in, its dark by the end of afternoon classes, and real jackets and boots are a must. Oh, and Shabbat is starting earlier.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @ Roth Center
Everything * Sesame * Salt * Plain * Cinnamon Raisin * etc......Hungry?
Come for your weekly dosage of bagels, shmear, and OJ.
General Hillel Meetings--Mondays 6-7 PM @ Roth Center in the basement (go down the front stairs, first and only room on your right. Or just follow the shrieks, I mean, laughter.
Blitz in food requests to Hillel e.g. pizza, Chinese, Indian, Thai...
TOY (Taste of Yisrael (Israel)) will return NEXT WEEK on Thursday 11/15
Kick back for an hour and learn a little something about Israel. Food provided. Look to next week's next Jewsletter for the where and when of this event.
"Voices of Faith: A Panel/Dinner Discussion about Faith at Dartmouth College" will also be held next Thursday 11/15 from 6-7:30pm in Collis Commonground. The event will feature speeches written by five Dartmouth students from different religious groups on campus. Speeches will be followed by dinner catered by Boloco and tble discussions facilitated by students. Please blitz Laurie Levin by Friday if you're interested in attending.
The Annual Chanukah Ball--coming soon! Please blitz Hillel if you're interested in joining the committee that will come to existence soon.
Needed: decorators, menu-makers, coordinators, Chanukah enthusiasts.
Jew(s) of the Week: Allie K. Miller '10 and Andrew Kaminski '09 for nominating themselves. (It's just that easy!)
General Announcements:
-The game room (the room at the far end of the basement floor at the Roth Center) is being painted as part of our renovations into the Hillel lounge. Please do not go in.
-If you have nominations for Jew or Goy of the week, blitz Laurel Marcus '10. Self calls are welcome. Also, for any Jewish/Hillel related announcements or Jewish jokes you want to see in the Jewsletter, blitz Laurel Marcus.
Joke #1
There were two golf players. The first went to take the shot, and the ball landed in the pond, and sunk to the bottom. He walked up to the pond, stuck his club into the ground, and the water split in half. He walked in, and took another shot, hole in two.
Next player shot, it landed in the water, and got eaten by a fish. The fish swam to the surface and got swallowed by a bird. There was a lightning strike, and the bird spat out the fish, who spat out the ball. It fell into the hole. Hole in one.
And Moses looked up, and said "That's the last time that I play with you, Dad!"
Joke #2
One day at kindergarten, a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $5 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The Teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a little Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The Teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
Finally, a little Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin. Come up here and I'll give you the $5."
As the Teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know, Marvin, since your're Jewish, I was very surprised you said 'Jesus Christ'."
Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart, I knew it was Moses, but business is business."
Jewsletter 10-31-07
THE HALLOWEEN EDITION
Jew Crew 6:45 @ Roth Center
Still in the Halloween spirit, 11's? Come to the meeting in costume and creep out (or creep on...) your fellow classmates. Food, drink, and company provided.
Gil Hoffman lecture Friday at 4:00 PM @ Rocky 001
Gil Hoffman is the chief political correspondent and analyst for The Jerusalem Post. Well-connected to Israeli and Palestinian political leaders, Hoffman has interviewed Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, former prime ministers Sharon, Peres, Barak and Netanyahu and every major figure across the Israeli political spectrum. He has been interviewed by top media outlets on 6 continents and is a regular analyst on CNN, Al Jazeera and other foreign news outlets. Called "The most optimistic man in Israel" by Israel.
Friday night Services/Shabbat Dinner 6:00/7:00 @ Roth Center
Services led by Chiara Klein '10 with special help/distractions provided by UVJC 4th-6th grade Hebrew School students. Dairy potluck meal provided the Upper Valley Jewish Community families. This meal will literally be home-cooked.
Bagel Brunch Sunday at 1 PM @Roth Center
Did you know that bagels were invented by Jews? Come eat the food of your ancestors.
And drink the juice of...Florida.
Hanukkah Ball committee needs committee members. BECOME the backbone of the committee. Blitz Hillel to join/ask questions/say hi.
Look out for the Israel: Week in Review blitzes to stay updated on the current situation in Israel. Take a stance and learn about our Homeland.
If you're interested in cooking dinner at the Roth Center for a Shabbat meal this term, please blitz the Hillel account! No experience necessary. The cooks would love the company.
Blitz Laurel Marcus '10 with any announcements you'd like to put in the Jewsletter. Must be SOMEHOW Jewishly related. (But really, that can go a long way)
Jew of the Week: Victoria Fener '08, for making it to her senior portrait at 2:52 on the dot.
Goy of the Week: Claudia Palmer, Head Administrator of Hillel, for being the sweet, Jewish mother we all so love and miss. And for holding our lives together, no questions asked.
Jewish Anecdote from Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And so can you!)
"Now, I have nothing but respect for the Jewish people. Since the Bible is 100% the true word of God, and the Jews believe in the Old Testament, that means Judaism is 50% right.
My biggest problem with Judaism is its tradition of literary criticism. Its highest ideal is to sit around studying day and night. I can't trust any religion with that kind of book-fetish. As much as I love the Bible, even I can only read so much in one bathroom sitting. Let alone the Talmud. Seriously, Rashi, every tractate needs a commentary? It wouldn't hurt to take a seltzer break once in a while.
Also, there's this whole notion of "Jewish Guilt." Hmm, sounds familiar. Maybe because it was originally called "Catholic Guilt"! Quit trying to steal our spot as guiltiest religion, Jews. If your mother knew about this blatant theft, it would kill her--KILL her.
They don't even need the guilt. They've got plenty of other ways to make themselves miserable. Just look at their holidays. The most important one involves spending a day not eating and thinking about all the bad things they've done. You get the day off from work, and you spend it moping. Count me out!
Look, guys, you need to lighten up. I've been to Jewish weddings--I know you can cut loose when you want to. That thing with the chair is crazy. Let's bring around a little more of that. Also, if you could concentrate on rebuilding that Temple and bringing forth our Armageddon/Second Coming, we'd really appreciate it."
Colbert, Stephen. I am America (And so can You!). New York NY. Grand Central Publishing 2007. 56-57
Jewsletter October 24, 2007
Jews and Java--Wednesday 2-4 @Dartmouth Bookstore
Chit chat plus coffee of your choice. On the house. And by house we mean Hillel.
Jew Crew--Thursday 6:45 @Roth Center
Pronunciation: jay-kroo
Function: noun (proper)
Etymology: Modern English, Dartmouth College Hillel circa 2000
1. A crew made up of Jews
2. A weekly gathering of 11's that includes free food, free company (?), event-planning, and socializing (something we Jews do best)
3. A valid excuse to STOP homework-ing
Shabbat Services and Dinner--Friday 6:30/7:30 @Roth Center
In services led by the esteemed Chiara Klein '10, you may just find the inspiration you've been searching for. That, AND here is your chance to repent for all your Homecoming sins. If that didn't convince you, I don't know what will.
As always, a delicious home-cooked meal will follow--a nice change of pace from Foco.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @Roth Center
Come get your weekly dose of bagels and shmear. Jews and bagel-lovers are welcome.
After Bagel Brunch on Sunday:
1:30 - Yitzhak Rabin Memorial program
Please join the Dartmouth Jewish community as we commemorate the life of Yitzhak Rabin, Israel's former prime minister and Nobel Peace Prize laureate who was assassinated in 1995. We will be holding a brief memorial at the Roth Center in his honor.
If you're interested in cooking dinner at the Roth Center for a Shabbat meal this term, please blitz the Hillel account. Even if you've never cooked before but you're interested in helping out, let us know! We have expert cooks to help you out.
Don't feel "in the know" about the current situation in Israel? Wish you didn't have to stand around and stare at your feet while all your cool friends heatedly debate current affairs of the Middle East? Hate feeling AWKWARD???
Here's the solution for you: look out for the "Israel: Week in Review" blitzes provided by Joe Friedman '09. Please, don't be ignorant.
UVJC and Hillel are pairing up in an "Adopt a family/adopt a student" program. UVJC members are excited about the possibility of inviting students over for a dinner, etc. If you are interested in being paired up with a family, blitz the Hillel account at none other than "Hillel." You can even blitz in with friends and we can pair you together with a family.
Joke of the Week:
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read
to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."