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Summer 2006 - Spring 2007 |
Jewsletter Friday May 25, 2007
Jewsletter this week is extremely abbreviated (which I guess is actually good for you, less energy spent scrolling down). The Jewsletter writing committee would like to extend their apologies towards those of you who missed Jews and Java on Wednesday because you didn't read about it in the Jewsletter. Lucky for you, this can be your reminder for next week! (J + J--Wednesdays 2-4 PM @Dartmouth Bookstore)
Shabbat services/dinner--tonight 6:30/7:30 @ Roth Center
Dinner cooked by our dashing young Hillel presidents, Brian Meyers and Evan Michals. They will be testing their cooking skills on a pasta dish, salad, and possibly some other surprises.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @ Roth Center
A bountiful medley of bread products and an extensive assortment of cream cheeses.
In other words, bagels and schmear. Plus OJ.
TOY (Taste of Yisrael)--Monday 8 PM
At our final meeting of the term, just hang out, talk about Israel, chat, argue, eat. What we Jews do best.
If you have any comments/suggestions/criticisms of Hillel this term, we would love to hear what you have to say. Ways we can improve, programs you wish you'd seen, programs you enjoyed and hope to see in future years--the sky is the limit. If you would like your comment to be anonymous, go to our website at www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel and click on "send feedback" at the top.
Results of Hillel Executive Board Elections:
For the upcoming Summer term:
President: Andrew Kaminski
Executive Vice President/Programming Chair: Sarah Lawson
Vice President of Religious Affairs: Elliot Mattingly
For the upcoming Summer and Fall terms:
Vice President of Membership: Victoria Fener
For the upcoming Fall and Winter terms:
President: Meredith Druss
Executive Vice President/Programming Chair: David Nachman
Vice President of Religious Affairs: Chiara Klein
Jokes of the Week:
#1: Yeshiva University's new rowing team was the embarrassment of the entire sports department. They not only finish dead last in every competition, but consistently cross the finish line many minutes, even hours, after their opponents. Finally, they send Goldfarb to spy on the top-rated Harvard Crew team, in the hopes of gaining some helpful insight. Lurking in the Cambridge boathouse, he watches the team practice in the Charles River. For an entire week he observes their methods.
Finally, he returns to New York, where his teammates gather anxiously to hear his information.
"I figured out their secret!" he tells them excitedly.
"Nu!? Tell us! Tell us!" demand his teammates, impatiently.
"They have eight guys rowing," he pronounces, authoritively,"and only ONE guy yelling!!"
#2: The Cohens were social climbers, and when their precious son, David, was being bar mitzvahed, they wanted something spectacular; the kind of party that nobody else had; something unique and extraordinary that would set tongues a-wagging. They consulted a party planner who suggested a Safari Bar Mitzvah. It was disgracefully expensive, but they'd be the talk of the town! Price be damned! They booked it!
On the appointed day, they herded all the party guests onto a chartered plane and flew them to Africa, where they were met by three smaller planes which took them further into the interior of the continent. There, they picked up guides, porters and cooks, and all the guests were herded into Land Rovers in which they rode for three days, sleeping in magnificently appointed tents set up by the porters each night. On the fourth day, the road all but disappeared into the jungle, and they were forced to get out and walk. Eighty people are tramping, single file, down a barely passable path, hacked, with large knives, out of the overgrown bush by their guides. Suddenly, the line stops moving. For two hours, they're just standing and waiting.
Finally, impatient, Cohen makes his way to the front of the line to speak to the lead guide.
"What's the problem?" he demands to know.
"No problem, Bwana. We just wait. Two more bar mitzvahs a head of us."
Jewsletter--Wednesday, May 16, 2007
J + J--Today 2-4 PM @ Dartmouth Bookstore
On this gross, rainy day, who wouldn't want a nice, warm cup of Starbuck's coffee...for freeeee?? As an added bonus, you get to enjoy Ben's company...for free as well.
Photo Exhibit of Israeli Soldiers in War--Thursday, May 17 noon-10 PM @ Collis Commonground
A spectacular array of photos of Israeli soldiers in the midst of war will be on display tomorrow for the entire afternoon. Come between classes and look around--these are really stunning photos, absolutely worth checking out.
HILLEL ELECTIONS--Monday, May 21 6 PM @ Roth Center
Electing positions for both summer and fall terms! President, VP Programming, VP Religion are all being elected for the summer and fall terms. VP Membership will also be elected, but will be responsible for both summer and fall (but you don't have to be on campus in the summer to be the position).
Descriptions of available positions are in a separate email. If you would like to nominate someone (including yourself) for any position, blitz back to Hillel.
Promises to be a short meeting, and if its not, then there will be plenty of food to keep you entertained.
People actually book this in their iCals... I mean, nothing is more amusing than elections.
Shevuot--Tuesday & Wednesday, May 22/23
A holiday dedicated to the remembrance of receiving the Ten Commandments that fateful day on Mount Sinai and a celebration of the harvest season.
Services Tuesday night: 8 PM @ Roth Center--Discussion about this happy holiday with Rabbi Boraz to follow.
Services Wednesday morning: 9:30 AM @ Roth Center
WannA
Be-A
JUGA?
(for the 11's)?
JUGA=Jewish UGA...just an upperclassman for the 11's to know, admire, and respect. Your job is to earn that admiration and respect by organizing awesome things for your "Jugees," like take them to Ben & Jerry's, go for a coffee, etc. (all on the Hillel tab)
In other words, this is the first chance for all of you Jewish upper-class males out there to sketch on new freshman Jewish girls. [editor's note: not really.]
Blitz Hillel for more deets. [editor's note: I assume "deets" means "details"]
Need money? Want a job? Want a job with good pay? The Pavillion is looking to hire! If you are interested in working at the Pavillion, please blitz Robert Lester (or, as usual, the Hillel blitz account is okay too).
Think of the cookies... all of the cookies.
Want to be featured on Dartmouth home page in video talking about the college? Blitz "Profiles" with your name, class year, major/minor, home town, and activities at Dartmouth.
Interested in Graduate studies in Israel? How about working in the Southern Arava Desert with a sustainable development project in Israel? Interested in either? Blitz back to Hillel, we'll forward you more information.
Jewish Jokes
"The Bible Told Me So"--
A teenager had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a Rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Abraham had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Moses had long hair...."
To which the Rabbi replied.... "Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"
"The Observant Jew"
Moe and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.
"Well," said Lenny, "I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi."
"Wait a minute," Moe replied. "Didn't you read that book I lent you, The Other Side of the Story, about the command to judge other people favorably? I'll bet we can think of hundreds of reasons for Irving's behavior."
"Yeah, like what?"
"Maybe he's sick and needs to go to the hospital."
"Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he's healthier than Arnold Schwarzenegger is."
"Well, maybe his wife's having a baby."
"She had one last week."
"Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."
"She's home."
"Well, maybe he's running to the hospital to get a doctor."
"He is a doctor."
"Well, maybe he need supplies from the hospital."
"The hospital is a three minute walk in the opposite direction."
"Well, maybe he forgot that it's Shabbos!"
"Of course he knows it's Shabbos. Didn't you see his tie. It was his paisley beige 100% silk Giovani tie from Italy. He never wears it during the week."
"Wow, you're a really observant Jew! I didn't even notice he was wearing a tie."
"How could you not notice? Didn't you see how it was caught on the back fender of the taxi?"
Jewsletter May 9, 2007
J + J--Today 2-4 PM @ Dartmouth Bookstore
Coffee and chit chat. It's all on Ben.
J-Crew--Tonight 11:15 PM @ EKT (house next to AXA, looks like a castle)
THEN: Trip to Fort Lou's @ midnight (you come, we drive)
"Game night" with lots of games and fun stuff. To be really specific and all.
All you need to do is come; we'll take care of the rest.
Learner's Service--Friday May 11 6:30 PM @ Roth Center
Have a favorite prayer? Wish you knew mine? Come to learner's service next week and/or help out--as VP of Religious Affairs Chiara Klein '10 put it, "You can read English, Hebrew, just explain, whatever. You can even double up and do stuff with a buddy. Come on. You know you want to."
Evan Michals will be giving the D'var---he might bring illustrations again!
Joel Alpert presentation--May 13 4:00 PM @ Rocky I
(rescheduled from Holocaust Memorial day weekend)
Project Preservation Lecture: Restoring A Destroyed Heritage: One Man's Odyssey to Recover the History of the Jewish Community of Yurburg, Lithuania, the site for Project Preservation 2007
Joel Alpert is a historian and one of the principal restorers of a Jewish cemetery in Yurburg, Lithuania.
Claudallah--Saturday 6 PM@ Claudia's house
Meet at Roth Center @ 5:30 for a ride.
S'mores, a bonfire, stargazing--all on the premises of a new, beautiful house built by the Mr. and Mrs. Claudia. Now that we are capable of being outside for more than 30 seconds at a time, its time to stare down some stars.
RSVP to Claudia Palmer by NOON on FRIDAY if you want to come. Dinner will be mac and cheese, tossed salad, bread, watermelon and ice cream.
Special Ribeye Steak Dinner--Tuesday, May 15 5-7:30 @ Pavillion
No, we're not paying, although maybe if you go, you can meet a special someone who is willing to pay for you...or maybe someone who needs to spend their DDS (that would be me). Promises to be a delicious meal.
Photo Exhibit of Israeli Soldiers in War--Thursday, May 17 @ Collis Commonground
A spectacular array of photos of Israeli soldiers in the midst of war will be on display. More details to come.
Need money? Want a job? Want a job with good pay? The Pavillion is looking to hire! If you are interested in working at the Pavillion, please blitz Robert Lester (or, as usual, the Hillel blitz account is okay too).
Want to be featured on Dartmouth home page in video talking about the college? Blitz "Profiles" with your name, class year, major/minor, home town, and activities at Dartmouth.
Interested in Graduate studies in Israel? How about working in the Southern Arava Desert with a sustainable development project in Israel? Interested in either? Blitz back to Hillel, we'll forward you more information.
Additions to your Vocabulary:
Jewbilation--(n.) Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish
Re-shtetlement--(n.) Moving from New Jersey to Florida and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo as you
Torahfied--(adj.) Inability to remember one's lines at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Joke #1
Three men, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
"Give me the best French wine and French bread," he requested.
So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Next it was the Italian's turn.
"Give me a great big plate of pasta," said the Italian.
So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Now it was the Jew's turn.
"I want a big bowl of strawberries, " said the Jew.
"Strawberries!!! They aren't even in season!"
"Nu, so I'll wait..."
Joke #2
A Jew was walking on Regent Street in London and stopped in to a posh gourmet food shop. An impressive salesperson in morning coat with tails approached him and politely asked, "May I help you, Sir?"
"Yes," replied the customer, "I would like to buy a pound of lox."
"No. No," responded the dignified salesperson, "You mean smoked salmon."
"Okay, a pound of smoked salmon."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, a dozen blintzes."
"No. No. You mean crepes."
"Okay, a dozen crepes."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. A pound of chopped liver."
"No. No. You mean pate."
"Okay," said the Jewish patron, "A pound of pate. And," he added, "I'd like you to deliver this to my house next Saturday."
"Look," retorted the indignant salesperson, "We don't schlep on Shabbos."
Jewsletter April 26, 2007
Hasidic New Wave –Tuesday, May 1 7-9pm @ Collis Commonground
Jewish fusion- Jazz ensemble Hasidic New Wave in combination with the renowned Senegalese Sabar drum ensemble, Alioune Faye and YAKAR RHYTHMS...I mean, this is just awesome. Don't miss out because you're lazy...in fact, don't miss out at all. PLUS, If you RSVP to the Hillel blitz account, we can reserve top notch seats for you!!!
Shabbat 40,000...I mean, 400 (I wish 40,000) - Sponsored by Chabad and Hillel
Friday May 4 (that would be next week)
FREE FREE FREE.
RSVP to Hillel with your Dartmouth ID# to get a seat!!! Again, we'll save you the BEST one there is.
Also: We need help cleaning chickens in preparation for cooking for Shabbat 400 - blitz Amanda Gelman if you want to help. Or if you're good at cleaning chickens. Either way, you're wanted.
Shabbat Services and Dinner-Friday 6:30/7:30 @ Roth Center
If you love God, God will love you back. So, love God this week--good things will happen for you.
Join us for a wonderfully delicious meal prepared by yours truly (Laurel) and Victoria Fener, both originating from the one and only, Needham, Massachusetts, a town known for its classy cuisine and delectable dishes (not entirely true, but we're definitely up there). And seeing as it's parents weekend for all you froshies, bring the fam! Plenty for all.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @ Fahey-McLane Lounge ground floor. A short sonnet follows:
Bagels and shmear, OJ galore
Really! Who could want anything more?
The company is great,
The food is for free...
There is NOTHING better at Dartmouth for me!
(And you)
Jewish Jokes of the Week:
Joke #1
An ultra Orthodox couple met their rabbi at their temple to consult their upcoming wedding. they had one problem that they needed to ask the rabbi about.
"Rabbi," said the man, "my fiance and I really want to dance together at our celebration, can we?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the rabbi "The men and women have to dance seperately to be modest and dignified!"
"Fine," says the woman. Then a huge question comes up on her mind. "Can we have sex?"
"Absolutely," says the rabbi, "reproduction is a mitzvah!"
"Even before marriage?" says the man.
"It's all a mitzvah."
"Woman on top?"
"A mitzvah."
"On the kitchen table?"
"It still doesn't change the fact that it's a mitzvah, so go right ahead."
"How about standing up?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" yells the rabbi.
"Why?" both partners ask?
"Could lead to dancing."
Joke #2
*A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
*"Wonderful. What part is it?"
*The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband."
*The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
******ooooooooh snappp!!!!!!!!!!!*******
Jewsletterrrrr Wednesday April 18, 2007
This week, I am paying homage to my lovely co-communications exec, Louisa-Ray Pollard. No, I'm not kidding, she really does have a hick double name...even though her parents are from Massachusetts and Connecticut. Gosh, she's SO COOOL. Note the Oklahoma translation follows the normal language for us normal folk...her idea. Okies. (her again) Let's begin.
J-Crew-Wednesday 6:15 @Collis 218
****NOTE the change this week from Thursday at 6:30 to WEDNESDAY at 6:15*****
*NOTE the note: this won't be the permanent time or day or JCrew-we'll let you know*
Socialize with future husband/wives. And Ben.
Okie Trans: Come meet other youngin'. Moo.
J + J-Thursday 1-3pm@ Dartmouth Bookstore
Okie Trans: Y'all all come see us now. Joe with Ben. (wtf????)
Shabbat Services and Dinner-Friday 6:30 and 7:30 @ Roth Center
Meredith Druss '08 will serenade us with some high quality story telling to get us in the Shabbat mood.
Okie Trans: Meredith Druss '08 will not be singing renditions of Oklahoma. Sorry Lucy-Ray.
Yom Ha'atzmaut (Israel Independence Day) Celebration-Monday April 23
Come join us for dessert and festivities at the Pavillion. Also, if you want to learn about the Birthright Trip, stop by the booth in Thayer Lobby and chitchat with Ben.
Also, listen for Ha'Tikvah (the Israel national anthem) on the bells!
Okie Trans: If Yom Ha'Atzmaut was held in Oklahoma, it would involve lots of fireworks and a burnt down barn.
TOY (Taste of Yisrael)-Tuesday April 24 9 PM @ AZD (The pretty white house on frat row next to Rocky)
Learn a little something something about Israel and all its beauty. Food provided.
PS. AZD is wayyyy prettier and smells nicer than Sig Nu [editor's note: this is currently being disputed, and we have a committee looking into it]
Okie Trans: I'm fixin' to git me some Hummus!
J-Crew Event: UVJC Yom Ha'atzmaut Celebration with UVJC kids-Wednesday April 25
J-Crew is holding an event for the UVJC kids in celebration of Israel Independence Day-lots of food, fun activities, Israeli dancing, and EVEN a cake to decorate. Help is needed at 5:30 to set up for the event. Blitz Chiara Klein (at 'jew,' she likes that) if you wanna help out.
Okie Trans: I guarantee it'll be better an OU Texas game. And that's tough to beat.
RELAY for Life-May 25-26
Sign up for the Hillel RELAY Team here, just followwww the link:
http://www.acsevents.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=
206249&lis=0&kntae206249=79CEC116B5FC4D638FC284D87D48BD2A&team=
1924109&tlteam=0
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Random thoughts? Compliments? Blitz Victoria Fener.
Events to look out for:
Hasidic New Wave With Yakar Rhythms Concert--Tuesday, May 1st 7-9 PM @ Collis Commonground. FREE! They have the best double-necked guitarist in the world. Really.
Hannah Tiferet Segal performance-Thursday May 3 @ Roth Center
Shabbat 400-Friday May 4
400 Jews. One room. You do not want to miss out.
RSVP to the Hillel blitz account with your Dartmouth ID # to reserve a spot! Free for all, we just want to know that YOU are coming. You...specifically.
Okie Trans: yeehaw!
Learner's Service-Friday May 11 6:30 PM @ Roth Center
Joel Alpert presentation rescheduled-May 13 4:00 PM
Project Preservation Lecture: Restoring A Destroyed Heritage: One Man's Odyssey to Recover the History of the Jewish Community of Yurburg, Lithuania, the site for Project Preservation 2007
Joel Alpert is a historian and one of the principal restorers of a Jewish cemetery in Yurburg, Lithuania.
Joke of the Week:
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."
And finally, for Lucy's entertainment, and all those who identify with her-
You know you grew up in Oklahoma when...
-Miami is pronounced "Miam-uh"
-A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a 4 way stop sign, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first
-A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel
Last but not least...
-You know you grew up in Oklahoma when it doesn't seem odd to see the term "Chicken Fried Chicken" on a menu. Now THAT'S not kosher.
Oklahoma jokes courtesy of www.unwind.com
Jewsletter
Wednesday, April 10, 2007
Due to scheduling conflicts Laurel and Lucy were never able to actually meet in person for this lovely newsletter (so sad). So Lucy's uh... very valuable, uh influential input would be the secondary comments... Enjoy...
Events:
Passover Break Bread(lessness)--TONIGHT. 8:16 on the dot @ Roth Center
If matza just isn't cutting it for you anymore (or never really did in the first place), join us for pizza, pita bread & hummus, garlic knots, and other wonderful bready products for the much-anticipated termination of this "absence of all foods with any substance" holiday.
CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS CARBS
Now say that five times fast
Jews and Java--Wednesday 2-4 at Dartmouth Bookstore
Just a great time. Jews + coffee is never a bad mix. Add in Ben Rosenbleet and you might as well just call it what it is: one heck of a party.
JCrew--Thursday 6:30 PM @ Roth Center
This week we are holding elections for a new JCrew executive board! The positions are president, VP, treasurer, and secretary. Blitz Chiara Klein if you'd like to run...or find out more about the positions. She would love to hear from you, personally.
JCrew: my favorite store, my favorite organization RUN FROSH RUN!!!
Friday Night Services and Dinner--Services @6:30/Dinner @7:30
We think you have a really nice voice...that sounds even better when you're praying to God. We know you have a really good appetite. 'Nuf said.
Yom Ha'Shoah (Holocaust Remembrance) Memorial--Dartmouth 105 @ 8 PM
Project Preservation, a group of students who learn about and help restore various Jewish communities in Eastern Europe, has organized a documentary screening followed by a panel discussion with past trip-members about their experiences in these once vibrant Jewish communities. A candle lighting memorial will follow.
Bagel Brunch--Sunday 1 PM @ Roth Center
Bagels and shmear; open to Jews and bagel lovers.
Please stick around afterwards because bagel brunch will be followed by a short Yom Ha'Shoah Service at 2 PM.
A Presentation by Joel Alpert--Sunday 4 PM @ Rocky 1
Project Preservation Lecture: Restoring A Destroyed Heritage: One Man's Odyssey to Recover the History of the Jewish Community of Yurburg, Lithuania, the site for Project Preservation 2007
Joel Alpert is a historian and one of the principal restorers of a Jewish cemetery in Yurburg, Lithuania.
Upcoming events:
Yom Ha'Atzmaut (Israel Independence Day)--April 23
Shabbat 400--Friday, May 4 7:30 @ Alumni Hall, following Shabbat services at the Roth Center
Allow me to break this down for you:
Shabbat=a time to chill with other students, eat top-notch food, and be merry.
400=the population of Jewish Dartmouth students, AKA the coolest of the crop.
Shabbat 400=an amalgamation of the above...wait, what?
We are hoping to celebrate Shabbat on May 4 as a united force of the 400 Dartmouth Jews we are, all together, at one huge, catered Shabbat dinner...for FREE! Please RSVP to the Hillel account via blitz for this absolutely sick-nasty event. Note: Non-Jews are certainly allowed to come--but need to RSVP.
So this is obviously going to be the most insanely awesome thing to ever hit Dartmouth. Under pain of death, invite all your Jewish friends to come!!!
Hasidic New Wave With Yakar Rhythms Concert--Tuesday, May 1st 7-9 PM @ Collis Commonground. FREE!
Gilman Island Trip--May 12 @...Gilman.
Just to refresh your memory, or perhaps to provide some brand new information for your memory to absorb, here are the results of the spring term Hillel elections:
* President - Brian Meyers + Evan Michals
* Executive Vice President/Programming Chair - Andrew Kaminski
* Vice President of Membership - Meredith Druss
o Committee: Tatyana Liskovich
* Vice President of Religious Affairs - Chiara Klein
* Israeli Affairs - Justin Zalkin
* House Manager - Laura Little
* Treasurer - Rachel Gozman
o Committee: Mark Harris, Sarah Lawson
* Communications Chair - Laurel Marcus
o Committee: Lucy Pollard, Micaela Klein
* Community Service Chair - Victoria Fener
o Committee: Sarah Lawson, Tatyana Liskovich
Other Positions
* Cooking Coordinator(s) - Anna Lugosch Ecker + Laurel Marcus + Ellisa Sagor
* Representative to the JPBC - Jeremy Warburg
* Representative to the Foundation for Jewish Life - Evan Michals
* Representative to the HOP - Micaela Klein
* Representative to the Student Assembly - Andrew Kaminski
* Representative to the Tucker Foundation - Sarah Lawson
* Representative to the Multi-faith Council - Micaela Klein + Laurel Marcus
* Representative to Green Key - Sarah Lawson
* Intramural Sports Chair/GodSquad Liaison - Andrew Kaminski
* JCrew (Freshmen of Hillel) President- Chiara Klein
More information for these events and others is provided on the Hillel calendar: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel/calendar.php?month=04&year=2007 (link to the month of April)
Joke of the week:
There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore
One of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed.
The scientist says to God - "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you."
God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What do you think?"
The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?"
God: "A man-making contest."
The scientist: "Sure! No problem".
The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!"
God replies, "No, no, no... You go get your own dirt."
Jewsletter
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
Wow. One week left of classes. Only one term left for us seniors. Only two weeks until I soak up the sun of the Caribbean... in my dreams. And by that, I mean in two weeks I'll actually be able to sleep. Until then, like most of you, instead of sleeping I'll be doing work high on caffeine, and once the work is over, I'll be so involved in enjoying not having work I won't sleep. I have a feeling that on this break I'll be a lot like Rip Van Winkle. Oh, and in three weeks, Jeremy will be going off campus for the first time since he arrived.
Until then, The Jewsletter!
Events:
Jcrew – Thursday 6:30 pm @ Roth Center
Freshmen, Jews, food, and a great way to freshmanize. And maybe you'll get to pet a goat. Why, you ask? Come and find out.
Friday Night Services and Dinner – Service 6p / Dinner 7p.
Get your God on before the weekend takes all the morals from you. Build up some good karma.
Israeli Food Cooking – Saturday 12:30 @ Roth Center
We'll be cooking authentic Israeli food for brunch in the Roth Center kitchen. Come learn how to cook, or just come to eat. Gluttony encouraged!
Purim Ball! – Thursday March 8th from 8-11p @ Hanover Inn
DJ Rockin Lou, an open bar, hors d'oeuvres, and costumes. Want to help decorate? Blitz Hillel.
Better start asking around for a date. They don't have to be Jewish, they just can't be anti-Semitic.
Passover is soon approaching, and we'll be having the massively popular large Seder at the Roth Center on the first full week of the Spring term. We need your help. You can even read a paragraph in English if you want. If you can help in any way possible, let us know by blitzing back to Hillel.
What happens when 400 Jews all assemble together at one huge event? They save tons of money. They also celebrate Shabbat in a giant Shabbat service/dinner that's going to be held this spring. We're aiming to get every Jew on campus to be there. If you want to help out (even in the most minor way possible), blitz Hillel.
Oh, yeah, and elections happened. We went for something groundbreaking on Monday. Two very qualified individuals wanted to be President, and for only one of them to own the crown would have been a loss for Hillel. So, we will have two Presidents this Spring. And in order to make this happen, we had to go to Massachusetts for the elections.
This Spring:
President: Evan Michals and Brian Meyers
VP Programming: Andrew Kaminski
VP Membership: Tatyana Liskovich and Meredith Druss
VP Religion: Chiara Klein
It's going to be an exciting spring, but until then, study well, party hard, and stay Jewish.
Shalom Aleichem
-Easier E
Correction:
In the last Jewsletter, I talked about people keeping positions through the summer and regular school year, and I said "...but not everyone is that badass." Fortunately, an astute reader pointed out that Jeremy is actually, indeed, that badass. He held his position from summer through the current school year. In fact, he held Programming too from Summer/Fall his freshman year.
Jew of the Week: Jeremy Warburg, for giving Hillel a solid leadership over the past 3 terms, and leaving it in a great condition for the two-headed '07 behemoth to take over. Solid work, Jeremy, well done. You'll be missed!
Goy of the Week: Laura Little, for putting Hillel first. If you were at the meeting, you know how much of a trooper she is.
Joke(s) of the week:
It was a dark and stormy night, rain tumbling down amid roaring thunder. Mendelson, a very old man, knew that the end was near, and so he said to his wife, "Call the priest, and tell him to come right away."
"The Priest? Max, you're delirious, you mean the Rabbi."
"No," said Mendelson, "I mean the priest. Why disturb the rabbi on a night like this?"
-------
At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger was observed crying louder than any of the other mourners. One of the townspeople approached him, "Are you a relative of the deceased?"
"No."
"Then why are you crying?"
"That's why!!"
-----
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face." As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream."
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding. "A Coke? That's breakfast?"
Jewsletter
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Funny. What is "funny"? Is it just something that we laugh at, or is it more than that? Tonight, in our quest to find out what is funny, I will give you a list of events that isn't really funny, and will intersperse within them nuggets of funny.
Donkey platypus. Is that funny? Maybe. But it sure would be funny to see a platypus in a cowboy hat riding a donkey, right? Only if it had a moustache.
What?
Events:
Jews and Java - Weds. 2-4 @ Dartmouth Bookstore. Get your caffeine on. With other Jews. Hey 07s, this actually is a legitimate way to meet 10s....
JCrew - Thurs 6:30p @ Roth Center. Freshmen. Jews. Meet. Eat. Merriment. This is not a legitimate way to meet 10s, unless of course if you are a 10.
Multifaith Council Meeting - Thurs 4p @ Tucker Foundation. Discuss religion with various.... religions. Meet the gentile.
Friday Night Shabbat - Services: 6p, Dinner: 7p @ Roth Center. Good food, challah, wine, pregame the weekend with God.
Interested in a Ski Trip this Saturday? RSVP to Hillel. Enough interest = free lunch at the skyway.
Claudallah - Saturday 5:30pm @ Claudia's house [meet at Roth Center]. RSVP to Claudia Palmer if you want to go, and let us know if you can drive. Delicious food + merriment.
Kiddush Cup Basketball Tournament @ MIT
This Sunday, all day. Want to take a trip to MIT to play basketball in an inter-Hillel tournament? RSVP to Hillel by Thursday at noon. We need to gauge interest to figure out transportation. Help us beat Harvard! (at least this time they accepted Dartmouth students... to their tournament. Get it? That's a college application joke. Funny. Ha.)
Ha.
Elections Next Monday during the general meeting at 6pm. Up for election are:
* President
* VP Religion
* VP Programming
* Evan Michals' Personal Assistant
* VP Membership (Spring only).
Actually, the first three positions are only for the Spring, unless you're planning on being here this Summer, in which case you can keep the position through Summer as well. But not everyone is that badass.
Also...
Want to help plan a HUGE Shabbat dinner with Chabad for next term? Blitz Hillel.
Want to help plan the massively fun Purim Ball at the end of this term? Blitz Hillel.
Want to auction yourself off for money? Go to Montreal. Or help out with the Kosher Meet Market.
Want to help run or participate in Passover services next term? Blitz Hillel. We need leaders.
Want to help Jewish singles get together and have lots of fun? Blitz Hillel. (the Kosher Meet Market)
Journey over. If you found none of that funny, I hope you at least like the joke at the end.
Shalom Aleichem
-Easy E
Jew of the Week: Brian Meyers, for being the Czar of Friday Night Services and donating his heart and soul into making sure that the Jews around here can celebrate Shabbat.
Goy of the Week: Christopher Walken and his manner of speaking.
Joke of the Week:
Nicholas and Abe found themselves delivered together to Hell.
A little confused at their present situation, they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and was covered in thick black hair. Flies circled her and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.
The voice of the Devil was heard, "Nicholas, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!"
Nicholas groaned as he was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.
This understandably shook up Abe and so he jumped when a second door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of... Cindy Crawford.
Delighted, Abe jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman.
Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying, "CINDY, you have sinned...."
The ValenJewSnowletter
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Ah, memories. You know, back when school used to be canceled from snow, and you'd cheer at the local news as it listed your school, and then you'd stay home, play in the snow, and have hot chocolate as you warm up by a nice fire.
Or, you would never have school canceled from weather because you live in California. You would play in the rain, and warm up with a nice cup of Peet's Coffee. A little different, yes. So for those of you from warmer climates, welcome to New England. This is what New England should be. Snow, skiing, and hot chocolate.
And what better way to enjoy Valentine's Day than freezing yourself silly as you trudge through the snow to Collis, or Homeplate, or wherever Dartmouth students have their dates.
And at least if you're single, today you can laugh at those who aren't, since you know they have to go outside to get to their dates.
Anyway, Events!
--------------
JCrew
Freshmen of Hillel. Come meet other freshmen of Hillel. And no, 07's, this is not a "legitimate" way to meet girls. Thursday at 6:30 pm @ Roth Center
--------------
Learner's Service Shabbat
This Friday at 6pm will be our Learner's Service, for those of us who want to know what the heck everything means at our Friday Night Services. Bring your friends, Jewish or not.
It's a great way to get introduced to services if you've never been before.
If you'd like to help out with the service, blitz Brian Meyers.
And, as always, followed by a delicious and free home-cooked dinner at 7 pm.
--------------
JCrew Mel Brooks-a-thon
All students welcome. @ Roth Center this Saturday night from 8pm-2am. Food and movies provided; come for all or just stop in. A list-in-progress of the movies to watch: The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
Get your Jew on.
--------------
Interested in Skiing next Saturday? Blitz Hillel. Depending on interest, we might run a ski trip that includes transportation and some free food.
--------------
GodSquad is back. This Sunday at 2:45, we've got another IM Basketball game, teaming up with the AQers. If you're interested, blitz Hillel or Mark White. It's at the West Gym.
--------------
A group of Tuck students are launching a unique social networking website and need your help [trust me, it's different from Facebook]. Join them for an hour and get a free Ramuntos dinner. The focus group will be this Sunday, Feb 18th, from 6:00-7:00pm in Collis 101. RSVP to "openvote" if you want to help out. Make Evan Konwiser proud.
--------------
Claudallah
Saturday night, Feb 24th, enjoy warm food and a fun havdallah at Claudia's house. It's a great, relaxing evening. RSVP to Claudia Palmer.
--------------
Kiddush Cup Basketball Tourney at MIT
Sunday, Feb 25th, there will be an inter-Hillel basketball tournament at MIT, including the likes of Yale, Harvard, MIT, and UMass Hillels.
Interested? RSVP to Hillel. You don't have to be any good at basketball. But if you are, we'd definitely like you to come.
The tournament will consist of 5-on-5 games and may be co-ed, but it's not a requirement. The trip is a lot of fun.
Stay warm, Hanover.
Shalom Aleichem
-Evan
Jew of the Week: David Nachman, for being such a great guy. Always smiling, always friendly, and really good at bowling. I still haven't been able to beat the 325 score he got once.
Goy of the Week: Bruce Willis. He's in the upcoming movie "Live Free or Die Hard." Yep. It's true. The fourth.
Joke of the Week:
David's watch was not working. He remembered passing a little shop with clocks and watches in the window, so he took the watch in for repair.
"Can I help you?" asked the man behind the counter.
"I want this watch repaired," said David.
"I'm sorry. I don't repair watches."
"Well, how much for a new one then?" asked David.
"I don't sell watches."
"You don't sell watches?"
"No, I don't sell watches."
"Clocks, you sell clocks then? How much for a clock?"
"I don't sell clocks."
David was getting exasperated. "You don't sell watches, you don't sell clocks?"
"No, I'm a moyel," replied the man.
"Then why do you have all those clocks and watches in the window?"
"If you were a moyel, tell me, what would you put in your window?"
Jewsletter
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Sneeze. Cough. Sniffle. Groan. "Ow, my head hurts." Ache. Sniffle. "Man, what did I do last night?" Cough. Sniffle. Sneeze. "Whoa, who are you?"
Sound familiar? If so, you might be suffering from having too good a time. And the only remedy for that is, as you know, Winter Carnival. Winter Carnival provides a safe alternative so that when you wake up, you don't feel like you were hit by a bull tied to a moving train.
Wait, just kidding, Carnival weekend is the very reason half the campus gets hit by bulls tied to moving trains. Just remember to drink fluids (especially citrus) and that bull-tied-to-a-train will turn into a pillow, tied to a Dodge Ram.
Events-
Jews and Java
Free coffee, free chat, free study break from a stressful pre-Carnival week. Wednesday 2-4 at the Dartmouth Bookstore / Starbucks. No bull. Maybe a train.
-----
Polar bear swim hot chocolate!
If you have the cojones to jump into the frigid waters of Occom Pond during the Polar Bear swim this Winter Carnival, then you'll also enjoy warming those cojones up with a nice cup of hot chocolate at the Roth Center.
-----
Toy
Taste of Yisrael will make its triumphant return on Tuesday the 13th (next Tues). Same place (Sigma Nu), same time (9ish). Hookah, hummus, discussions, and a great study break. Dodge Ram?
-----
Sophomore Bowling
Next Thursday, February 15th at 8pm.
Are you a Sophomore? Are you lonely? Want to meet other sophomore Jews and bowl? Meet at the Roth Center, rides will be provided. But if you can drive, let us know. RSVP to Hillel. And you can also come if you aren't lonely.
-----
Learner's service
Friday, February 16th at 6:00 pm @ Roth Center
Ever wonder what our prayers mean? Want to learn why we do what we do on Friday nights? Have a goy friend you've always wanted to bring to services? Then come to the learner's service, where we explain everything.
Of course, it'll also be followed by a delicious home-cooked dinner. Kosher too!
-----
Shabbat in the woods
Even though it's cold out, it's still cool to go to a cabin and have a nice social Shabbat. Friday, February 23rd, we'll be driving to a DOC cabin and having a brief Shabbat service there. If you'd like to go, RSVP to Hillel. No Dodge Rams, but maybe some citrus.
-----
Claudallah
Saturday, Feb 24th at 5ish, @ Claudia's House
Claudia Palmer, the Rabbi's Administrative Assistant, will be cooking dinner at her house (usually a delicious chili and corn bread), and we'll be going there for some Havdallah prayers and delicious food. RSVP to Claudia Palmer, and let her know if you can drive.
-----
Purim ball
It's coming... March 8th, DJ, open bar, costume contests, and a great night at the Hanover Inn's Daniel Webster Room. Want to help out, perhaps decorate? blitz Hillel. Want to come dressed up as a bull, driving a Dodge Ram? You can't, silly, because bulls don't ride Dodge Rams. They ride cows.
-----
There will be Jews and Java on Valentine's Day. Single? Come to meet other Jews and some Goyem. Already in a committed relationship? Come to share a cup of joe with your significant other. In a relationship status that Facebook would call "It's Complicated"? Come to discuss your woes with Ben Rosenbleet, who moonlights as a couples counselor.
-----
Well, that's about it for now. Have a fun, safe weekend, good luck finishing all your work so you can enjoy the weekend, and hopefully when you wake up on Sunday morning, it won't feel like something hit you while tied to a wild boar, or a Dodge Ram.
Shalom Aleichem
-Easy E
Jew of the Week: King David. I hear he did some things.
Goy of the Week: King Arthur. I hear he did some other things. With a sword or something.
Joke of the Week:
Sadie Greenberg came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's your prescription, Mrs. Greenberg. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week's time."
The next week, an upset Mrs. Greenberg marched into Dr. Johnson's office: "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Greenberg," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."
Jewsletter
Monday, January 29, 2007
Another week, another temporary period of no hangovers (for most of us, anyway...), another round of classes, another countdown to the next weekend, and another cold front has moved in to ensure that walking outside is not only challenging but deadly to small lapdogs. Of course, a frozen lapdog makes a great decoration for any dorm room. It lightens the mood anywhere. And dogs in cryogenic stasis don't need food! Until they thaw.
*Cough* anyway, here's the Director's Cut of this week's Jewsletter. You know, the version you didn't see in theaters, or in tonight's meeting, because it's longer. Sorry.
Eventz!*
*It has a 'z', therefore it is cool.
TOY
9 pm Tuesday @ Sig Nu
A birthright Israel slideshow full of pictures from the last trip, food, discussions about Israel, and, if you like, hookah.
Jews and Java
You know, that event with coffee. At the bookstore, 2-4 Wednesday.
Ben Rosenbleet rocks my world. In a manly sort of way.
Jew Crew / Freshmen of Hillel / Group O' Youngens
Thursday at 6:30 @ somewhere. Ask them where.
Meet, eat, discuss, freshmanize.
Tu B'Shvat Celebration
Friday Night at 6:30 at the Roth Center
Shabbat Services will be at 6 pm, but will end at 6:30 for the Tu B'Shvat dinner. Tons of wine, food, and fun as we celebrate the Jewish holiday of the trees. The dinner starts at 6:30pm, and you can just come to that if you like.
Did I mention tons of wine?
Bagel Brunch. Juice. Bagels. Schmear. Sunday. 1pm. Cure Hangover. At Roth Center. Hanover. Hippopotamus.
Going Swimming in the Pond for the Winter Carnival Polar Bear Swim?
Hot chocolate and snacks will be at the Roth Center (mighty close to Occom Pond...) awaiting your frigid body. Warm up, thaw out, and try not to regret your decision to stare frost bite in the face and scream "Shabbat Shalom, Mothafu&%@$!" as you plunge into the waters of Occom Pond. Come see Evan Michals in a speedo.
Learner's Service
Friday February 16
Service: 6 pm / Dinner: 7pm
Shabbat Services for those who want to learn about the services. Never been? Perfect. Not Jewish? Perfect. Tall, dark, and handsome? Perfect.
What's that? You don't chew your cud? Well, I guess we could let it slide. No cloven hooves? That's fine. Just don't sit on the kitchen counters, and for heaven's sake don't lick the forks!*
*Unless you are human. For some reason, even though humans aren't technically kosher, we can still touch kosher utensils and not contaminate them. I think it's a loophole, in that it's kosher to eat yourself. Think about it.
Relationships Going to Hell (Working Title)
We're putting together a panel discussion that includes a diverse array of viewpoints on the subject of relationships and religion. Want to get involved? Blitz Justin Zalkin.
Keep an eye out for this unique discussion in the next few weeks. Location/Time TBA.
Kosher Meet Market
Coming Feb 13th to Dartmouth! Meet other Jews, participate in the auction, and have a great Valentine's. Want to help out? Blitz Hillel. Want to auction yourself off? Blitz Hillel, or sign up on Ebay. Though it's safer when you do it through Hillel.
Hillel Ski Trip
Saturday, Feb 17th
Interested? Blitz Hillel for more info.
Claudallah
Havdallah at Claudia's House
Saturday, Feb 24th.
Have you met Claudia, Rabbi's Administrative Assistant? No? Have you had her chili and corn bread? Well, you're missing out. It's a great way to hang out before fratting, or whatever it is people do on the weekend. Great dinner, around a nice fire, and delicious chili.
Want to help organize a massive Shabbat with Chabad and aim to get as many Jews on campus as possible to come? It's going to happen spring term, so if you're on campus then and would like to help out, blitz Hillel.
Shalom Aleichem
-Evan
Jew of the Week: Dan Kelmenson, for despite having a dislocated extremity, he still hasn't lost his stunningly sly smile. You know, the kind of smile that says, "Is he happy to see me, or is he just laughing at me?"
Goy of the Week: The Juggernaut, hands down.
Joke of the week #1-
From a t-shirt I saw this weekend:
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Joke of the Week #2 –
Moishe took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating.
A little while later a blind man came and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, Moishe passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"
The Jewsletter
Monday, January 22, 2007
20 Jews, 40 opinions, no agreement. One amendment passed, a new one to vote
for. Indian food eaten, some left over. Meeting done, here Jewsletter.
[ Events ]
- Jews and Joe
Cups of Joe, actually. I don't think the Joe you met at a frat basement this
weekend will be there, so don't worry about any embarrassing conversations. Evan
and Ben will divert all the embarrassment unto themselves. Naturally.
Wednesday 2 - 4 pm at the bookstore / Starbucks.
- Freshmen, Hillel, J-Crew
Meeting this Thursday at 6:00pm at the Roth Center. Come frolic with the youngen.
And that's not an open invitation to upperclassmen.
- STAND up for Darfur
This Friday there is a conference at Brown University organized by STAND about
what next to do about Darfur. If you want more information about the conference,
blitz Hillel.
- Friday Night Services and Dinner
Get your God on before you party and begin to question that famous list of 10
things you shouldn't... uh, maybe just 10 things you should do your best to
avoid... well, 8 out of 10 ain't bad, right?
Services: 6:00pm
Dinner: 7:00pm (one dinner at the Roth Center, one at possibly the senior
apartments, TBA)
- Bagel Brunch
Get some bagels and some schmear and wake up from Saturday night the Jewish way.
A little known fact is that lox has been used for thousands of years to cure
hangovers. I'm kidding. Cavemen didn't get hangovers. Nor did they have lox. But
if they did, they probably weren't Jewish, and thus didn't have bagels. And if
they did get hangovers, it was probably from tequila.
At 1 pm at the Roth Center.
- Taste of Yisrael Returns!
Next Tuesday (January 30th), TOY returns with a slide show of the recent
Birthright Israel trips and information about the upcoming trip to the Holy
Land.
Time: 9pm Location: Sigma Nu
- Tu B'Shvat
The holiday for trees! Hillel is planning to celebrate it on Saturday, February
3rd at 5pm. Want to help out? Blitz Hillel. Tree hugging encouraged, but not
required.
- Keep an eye out for the Kosher meet market-
Want to auction yourself off? Speed dating? Want to meet Jewish people?
Interested in helping out? Blitz Hillel.
Coming Valentine's 2007.
[ Amendments ]
Tonight we voted to make the following amendment to the Hillel constitution, that it is the President's job to communicate with and serve as liaison to Chabad:
Under Article III, Section A, Subpoint 1: To communicate, meet, and coordinate with the leadership of Chabad.
-
However, we also proposed another amendment to the constitution, to further improve the job description. It's up for a vote next week; what follows is the additional amendment to the President's role:
Under Article III, Section A, Subpoint 1: To serve as the spokesperson for
Hillel and communicate with campus organizations when necessary.
Well, that's it. And remember, kids, if cavemen hadn't made the advancements they did, we wouldn't have Chanukah.
Shalom Aleichem,
-Easy E
Jew of the Week: Isaac Cohen, Britney Spears' current fling, after K-Fed was K-for-kicked-out-like-the-trash-he-is. Apparently the vomit paparazzi thought Britney had let fly on Isaac was just peanut butter.*
*I'm not even kidding.
Goy of the Week: Vanilla Ice. No question.
Joke of the Week:
Millie accompanied her husband Maurice to the doctor's office.
After he had given Maurice a full checkup, the doctor called Millie into his
office, alone. He said, "Maurice is suffering from a very severe disease,
combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will
surely die.
Each morning, wake him up gently with a long and passionate kiss, then fix him a
healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times and make sure he is always in a good
mood. Cook him only his favorite meals, lunch and dinner and allow him to fully
relax after each. Don't burden him with any chores and don't discuss your
problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. Don't argue with him,
even if he criticizes you or makes fun of you. Let him be as arrogant as he
wants to be. Try to relax him in the evening by wearing see-through lingerie.
Give him plenty of body massages. Encourage him to watch all the sports he can
on the TV, even if it means missing your favorite programs. And most
importantly, make full and passionate love with Maurice every evening after
dinner and satisfy his every whim. If you can do all of this, every day, for the
next 6 months, I think Maurice will regain his health completely."
On the way home, Maurice asks Millie: "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
The Juiceletter*
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
*fresh-squeezed.
But seriously, aren't we all fruits in the blender of life? Ready to be squeezed or mixed as the cosmos see fit? Well, all that fruit beverage talk has made me thirsty. Thirsty for what some people call an "Adios." Don't know what that is? Too bad for you. Well, never mind, too bad for me. They're expensive.
Until I can quench my thirst with our very own ThirstyJew (that's his rapper name) at Jews and Java, keep an eye out for these events to keep an eye out for (but don't get any lemon juice in that eye, or else you'll have to use the other eye to keep an eye out for them. And no one likes citric acid in their eye. It's reportedly worse than mud in your eye, but of course, better than liquid hot magma in the eye. It's a delicate balance.)
--------------------
Project Preservation meeting on Thursday at 7 pm in Carson L02. One of the most
rewarding two weeks you can have at college. If you're at all interested in
traveling to Europe to restore a Jewish cemetery, just go to the info session.
Really.
TOY (Taste of Yisrael = Israeli discussion, food, snacks, and hookah) at Sigma Nu at some point, perhaps next week Tuesday at 9pm. Watch your inboxes, like you would watch them for Waldo. But Waldo won't be at TOY. Unless you find him by then.
Sidenote:
We had elections yesterday. The following people are hereby elected to do stuff:
-- Lebovich will do stuff for Israel
-- Michals will do stuff to communicate
-- Anna Lugosch-Ecker and Ellisa Sagor are going to do stuff to cook
-- Laurel Marcus is doing JPBC stuff
-- Laura Little is SA Rep. Good luck getting SA to do stuff.*
*of course, I'm kidding. They do stuff. Really.
What's better than Jews on crack? Why, Jews on Starbucks of course!
Jews and Java – Wednesday from 2-4 at the Dartmouth Bookstore. Find out what
happens when Evan drinks caffeinated coffee. It ain't pretty. Here's a hint, it
rhymes with "why grain?" Hence, I'll be having tea tomorrow.
Friday Night Shabbat Services and Dinner
We all know we commit transgressions against sobriety every weekend. Why not
start your weekend off right, with the G to the OD? Services 6:00pm Dinner
7:00pm, delicious, religious, and nutritious.
Did Ben say he was getting hair plugs, or did Warburg say he had a fair mug? You decide.
Want to lead services? It's not hard at all, and might help earn you some good karma for the weekend. Blitz Brian Meyers. He's full of good karma.
What better way to fundraise than to sell off our bodies? The Kosher Meet Market is coming this Valentine's, and it's going to be more meat than a vegetarian can handle. If you want to sign up to help our, or to auction yourself off, blitz Hillel.
Well, that about wraps it up. Remember to watch out for black ice on the roads and pedestrians on the sidewalks. And drink plenty of juice.
Shalom Aleichem,
-Easy E
Jew of the Week: Rabbi Boraz, for pouring his heart into the Project Preservation program and always being there for anyone who needs him.
Goy of the Week: The guy who invented Imitrex migraine medication. I may have missed the meeting due to a massive headache, but it was made more bearable as a result of that fine drug. Thanks!
Joke of the Week:
Big thanks to Alex Stein for this joke-
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.
The Taliban man asked, "Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are
only $5."
The Arab shouted, "Idiot Jew! Israel should not exist! I do not need a tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."
"OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Shalom."
Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill.
A few hours later he staggered back and shouted angrily at the old man, "Your brother won't let me in without a tie."
The Jewsletter
1/9/07
Weekly Stuff...
**Jews and Java: Wednesday 2-4 at the bookstore.
(maybe if you ask Ben reaaaaaally nicely he'll move it to Dirt Cowboy)
**Jew Crew: Thursday at 6 (they have t-shirts now...hot!)
**AIPAC Meeting. Come meet with Dan Greenwald (AIPAC rep.) from noon to 1
on Thursday at the bookstore.
**Shabbat Services: Friday at 6
Shabbat Dinner: Friday at 7
**Bagel Brunch: Sunday at 1
**ELECTIONS!!! Next Monday meeting at 6. Up for election are the following
positions:
Israeli Affairs Coordinator (new exec board position!)
Communications Chair (another, but older, exec board position)
Cooking Coordinators (2 of them!)
Representative to the JPBC (help choose some new bling for the Roth Center)
Liaison to the SA
Coming This Term....
****STAND****
Students Taking Action Now..Darfur
There's a big conference at Brown on January 26th.
Interested? Blitz Ben Rosenbleet.
****Tu-B'Shvat****
It's a tree-friendly holiday with good food.
Blitz Brian Meyers if you want to get involved.
****The Kosher Meet Market****
Coming this Valentine's (ish)
Speed Dating, Singled Out, and a Date Auction (Ben, Bret, and Lucy are all for
sale!)
All proceeds go to charity.
If you want to get involved in any way, respond to this blitz.
****Shabbat in the Woods****
It's like Shabbat, but in the woods, and we all sleep over...like a slumber
party...but in the woods.
Assuming the DOC rents cabins during the Winter...
Sometime in February at any rate.
Want to make some money? The Roth Center library has books in desperate need
of sorting.
Blitz Laurie Levin to find out how you can make boatloads* of cash by helping
them get sorted.
*boatloads assumes you have one of those cute boats in a glass jar
Jew of the Week: Evan Michals for taking notes at the meeting.
Goy of the Week: The Chargers for dominating the Patriots this coming Sunday.
THE JEWSLETTER
November 28, 2006
www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel
HANUKKAH BALL TONIGHT! It can't be said enough.
We had elections. Here are the winners:
VP of Programming - Justin Zalkin
VP of Membership - David Nachman
- Are you as scared as I am? Who are these people?
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Jews and Java
hosted by Benjamin S. Rosenbleet
Wednesday, 2-4pm
Dartmouth Bookstore
Friday Night
6:30 Services
7:30 Dinner
* A real Jewish mother is making dinner this week, because we have finals, so
the food is going to be great but please RSVP!
This is my last Jewsletter, at least for the foreseeable future, so I offer a retrospective:
THE BEST OF THE NACHMAN JEWSLETTERS...
I can't think of anything
...EVAN MICHALS, PLEASE COME BACK!!!
Okay, see you guys next term,
David Nachman
THE JEWSLETTER - HAPPY THANKSGIVING / ELECTIONS / HANUKKAH BALL!
November 25, 2006
www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel/
Thought: Considering that all the other possibilities are terrible,
maybe we should just cut our losses and become the Dartmouth Tildes.
hmm.
Okay....
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Story: I live in Mahattan. Last Thanksgiving, I was looking out of
my fifth floor window and I saw a wild turkey crossing the street.
In case you were wondering, this is not supposed to happen.
Naturally, I thought to myself, wow, I have finally gone crazy. One
research paper too many. I decided not to tell anybody, at least
until after finals, when I would have time to be psychoanalyzed and
be examined by post-med professionals. But of course, the story was
just too good and so I told it to a lot of people. They were
skeptical. They were concerned. They kept their distance. But just
when I was getting desperate, I was vindicated by the New York Times
(http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F60D14FF3A5F0C778EDDA80994DB404482).
David Nachman - not crazy, yet.
ELECTIONS are here again. We are electing new VPs of programming and
membership.
Come to meetings at 6pm on Monday to vote and nominate people.
Upcoming Events:
Yiddish Slang And The Urban Underworld
1930s Room, Rockefeller Center
Monday, November 27
4:00 pm - 5:00 pm
HANUKKAH BALL!!
at the Hanover Inn
Tuesday, November
8:00 pm - 12:00 am
DJ, catered food, open bar, and dancing... what more could you want,
seriously?
Also:
******************************************
CHARITY TOY DRIVE
******************************************
Donate a toy to help a child victim of terrorism in Israel!
We'll be collecting stuffed animals (new, please), art supplies,
coloring books, baby supplies, games, etc., from now through Dec. 6.
You can bring your donations to the Collis Info Desk, Roth Center,
or Chabad.
Cash donations will be used to buy appropriate toys.
Help make this holiday season extra-special for a child in Israel!
(For security purposes, please do not gift wrap your donations).
Questions? Blitz Jordana Beeber.
**************************************************
Th-th-th-that's all, folks,
David Nachman
THE JEWSLETTER
Monday, November 13, 1996
the "home page" of our "web site" on the "inter-net":
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel/
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Jews and Java
Wednesday 2-4 pm @ Dartmouth Bookstore - now run by Barnes & Nobles, apparently
a big bookstore elsewhere
There's this new awesome thing called Starbucks, they sell weird coffee, you
should check it out
Friday Night Services and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Claudallah! - Havdalah at Claudia's house!
Saturday Night, 5:30 pm - meet at the Roth Center
Too amazing for a stupid retro comment
RSVP by blitzing the account
Vermont Food Trip - Ben & Jerry's and Cabot Factories
Sunday, 11am-4pm
Seriously, what could be better?
RSVP to the account
WEEKLY STUFF:
Best new TV show: The Daily Show with Craig Kilborn
Jew of the Week: Jerry Seinfeld
Goy of the Week: Bill Clinton, for winning again
Industrial Average of the Week: The Dow Jones, for closing above 6,000
- Apparently, nothing really significant happened this week. Too bad.
Good night, good luck, and stay classy Hanover,
David Nachman
It's a bird, it's a plane... it's
THE JEWSLETTER
November 8, 2006
www.dartmouth.edu/~hillel
WHAT'S GOING ON:
Friday Night Services and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Sophomore Crew at the Hillel Apartments
Friday Night, 7:30 pm
Please RSVP to Andrew Kaminski
Bagel Brunch
Sunday, 1:00 pm at the Roth Center
COMING UP:
___________________________________________________________
Like Ben and Jerry's? What about Cabot Cheese? Ooo, and apple cider
too.
Join us on the 18th for a trip to Vermont to grab all three of these
tasty treats.
We'll be gone from 11am to 3pm. Blitz 'Hillel' to save a spot on the
trip.
___________________________________________________________
ALSO:
____________________________________________________
The Katrina Education and Service Trip is a Tucker sponsored
Multifaith Trip, involving the organizations Hillel, Chabad, Al Nur
and EDGE.
DATES: December 7-21 (approximately 2 weeks)
Where: East Biloxi, working with the East Biloxi Coordination and
Redevelopment Center
in projects involving construction, health care, or a project of our
liking.
The cost of the trip is $150 per person, but financial aid is
available to those in need.
The $150 covers airfare from Boston to New Orleans and back,
lodging, and food
In addition as a group we will have to raise a $1000.
For those observing Shabbat, you will be accommodated.
Leaders: Jordana Beeber and Danish Iqbal
Please blitz 'Danish' ASAP if you would like to participate or if
you have any questions.
_______________________________________________________
This trip is a great idea and should be a really good experience,
but you need to blitz Danish now, seriously!
PEOPLE AND ONE-LINERS OF THE WEEK:
Jews of the Week: Rep. Rahm Emanuel, Sen. Chuck Schumer, and Ken
Mehlman, chairman of the RNC - political masterminds whose aptitude
at electoral strategy provided another dramatic election night
Goy and Jew of the Week: Danish Iqbal and Jordana Beeber, who are
planning a multifaith trip down to East Biloxi for Katrina relief
Jokes of the Week:
"Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to inspire people when he
came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place
where smart people go to die." - Jon Stewart
"Throughout his life, General Wesley Clark has stood up to some
tough opponents. He battled the Viet Cong and went toe-to-toe with
Slobodan Milosevic. But today the retired four-star general
capitulated to the fiercest enemy he's ever confronted: the American
voter." - Jon Stewart
Also: The Daily Show/Colbert Report Indecision 2006 - winner of the
longest web address
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=77943&ml_collection=&ml_gateway=&ml_gateway_id=
&ml_comedian=&ml_runtime=&ml_context=show&ml_origin_url=%2Fshows%2Fthe_daily_show%2Findex.jhtml&ml_playlist=&lnk=&is_large=true
Good night, good luck, and stay classy Hanover,
David Nachman
Breaking News: THE JEWSLETTER
Thursday, November 2, 2006
CONTENTS:
I. Upcoming Events
II. Proposed amendment to Hillel constitution - voting at meeting on
Monday
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Friday Night Services and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Upperclass Dinner at the Hillel Apartments
Friday Night, 7:30 pm
Please RSVP ASAP to Meredith Druss
Brunch with the Bagels
Sunday, 1:00 pm at the Roth Center
Also:
The International Students Association is putting on its annual
culture night on Nov. 17, 7-9 PM, in Collis Commonground.
Diana Dinescu and Jordana Beeber are organizing a performance of
Israeli folk dance, and they would like for you to join them!
They'll be learning 2 or 3 very simple, short dances--nothing too
complicated, and no prior knowledge required.
The time commitment won't be more than 2 rehearsals of about an hour
each.
If you're interested, blitz Diana Dinescu or Jordana Beeber.
PROPOSED AMENDMENT:
Article III: Governance, Section A: Officers of the Executive Board
Current:
n/a
Change:
5. Israel Affairs Coordinator
o To
coordinate all Hillel activity involving AIPAC, including student
conferences and other opportunities.
o To keep the
general community up to date on Israeli Affairs.
o To direct
and plan events pertaining to Israel.
o Israel
Affairs Coordinator is a two term position.
This change would also adjust all related portions of the
Constitution.
Good night, good luck, and stay classy Hanover,
David Nachman
Jew of the Week: Josh Jacobson, for hanging out at Hillel execs
Goy of the Week: General Sonthi of Thailand, because I'm writing a
paper about you. Please don't do something crazy and mess up my
work.
Jokes of the Week:
"Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food:
frequently there must be a beverage."
- Woody Allen
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case,
I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
- Woody Allen
JEWSLETTER
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
CONTENTS:
I. Upcoming Events
II. Hillel members reflect on their Jewish journeys - seriously
UPCOMING EVENTS... featuring Jews:
Jews and Java
Wednesday (tomorrow) 2-4 pm @ Dartmouth Bookstore
Free coffee, chat with other Jews, spend time with Ben Rosenbleet,
college employee
Learner's Service and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Blitz Brian Meyers if you are interested in helping out.
Hillel/UVJC Halloween Party
Saturday 7-11 pm @ Roth Center
Havdallah and Dance Party -- Costumes Encouraged
The only place to see David Nachman dressed like a lightbulb.
Hillel vs. Chabad Basketball
Sunday 12:00 pm at the Roth Center
Bret Tenenhaus has been practicing, so bring your a-game
Bagel Brunch at 1pm
Right after Bret Tenenhaus runs home in utter defeat.
ARTS & CRAFTS TIME:
At our Hillel general meeting on Monday, we drew pictures of our
"Jewish journeys." Yeah. Some people took it seriously (i.e. too
seriously,) while some people, like myself, were annoyingly
apathetic.
So...
- Andrew Kaminski thinks he's Moses. And then he drew a picture of a
cheeseburger.
- Meredith Druss finished the graphic novel memoirs of her entire
life. Apparently she is going to become a queen.
- Ben Rosenbleet got spiritual.
- I drew an El Al wagon and a moose for no particular reason.
- Victoria Fener drew some very misshapen circles and passed it off
as her life.
- Evan Michals attempted the impossible feat of using the Torah
pointer as a crutch.
- Brian Meyers used the learner's service as an excuse for not
drawing his life and instead demolished our entire supply of Kosher
meat.
Good night, good luck, and stay classy Hanover,
David Nachman
Jew of the Week: Justin Zalkin, because it's long overdue
Goy of the Week: Lauren Breach, because she bravely endured
questions about her sorority. Which one is it again, Lauren?
Joke of the Week: "I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start
getting the urge to conquer Poland." - Woody Allen
JEWSLETTER
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
CONTENTS:
I. Mandatory Events
II. Procrastination
III. Top Ten Ideas for Improving Hillel Meetings
UPCOMING EVENTS (that you WILL go to. don't ask questions):
Jews and Java
Wednesday (tomorrow) 2-4 pm @ Dartmouth Bookstore
Free coffee, chat with other Jews, spend time with Ben Rosenbleet,
Hillel employee of the week
Friday Night Services and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Cosmic Bowling for Jugas & Jugees
Saturday 9:00 pm
Blitz Hillel for details
PROCRASTINATION
We know this is midterm season. We know that you would like to find
any excuse not to do work. We know that you have great ideas for
Hillel. Take a minute to brainstorm and send them in.
Send in your birthday too. There may be presents in it for you. No
joke.
TOP TEN IDEAS FOR IMPROVING HILLEL MEETINGS
10. Special guest: The Hebrew Hammer
9. Role playing with Meredith Druss as challah bread
8. More people whose least favorite food is mustard
7. Pre-gaming
6. The "We Need Ben - He Should Be Rehired" Facebook group
5. More ice breakers
4. Discussions with Chase
3. Family Guy
2. Weekly elections
1. Free food
Good night, good luck, and stay classy Hanover,
David Nachman
Jew of the Week: Brian Meyers, for his endless humor at Hillel
meetings, sorely missed yesterday
Goy of the Week: not Kim Jung Il
Joke of the Week: A Jewish Dartmouth sophomore tries to think of a
joke of the week, but he can't, so he decides not to put one in.
Suddenly, he feels extremely guilty.
JEWSLETTER
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
CONTENTS:
I. Avoiding Future Guilt
II. Election Results
III. A Tribute to Evan Michals
UPCOMING EVENTS (that you know you'll feel guilty about if you don't
go to them):
Hookah in the Sukkah
Tonight 9:00 pm in the back of the Roth Center
Good times, good people, optional hookah
Jews and Java
Wednesday (tomorrow) 2-4 pm @ Dartmouth Bookstore
Free coffee, chat with other Jews, spend time with the infamous Ben
Rosenbleet
Friday Night Services and Dinner
Service: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
ELECTION RESULTS
House Man Adam Halpern-Leistner
Treasurer Rachel Gozman
Communications David Nachman (wait... that's me)
Community Service Allie Miller
Israeli Affairs Andrew Lebovich
Cooking Coordinator Madeline Kaye, Laurel Marcus
Liason to the Hopkins Center Evan Michals
and now... A TRIBUTE TO EVAN MICHALS
After three years, Evan Michals has stepped down as Communications
Chair - the author of the Jewsletter and the head of Hillel's
publicity. This is what Hillel members had to say...
"A great loss... the wisest man" - Jeremy Warburg
"His prose is as poetic as Robert Frost" - David Nachman
"The mere existance of the man forces me to love America" - Chase
Hogle
"His Jewsletters have changed the understanding of dreams forever" -
Sigmund Freud
"Evan's face belongs on Mount Rushmore" - Andrew Kaminski
"He's always been the true Jew of the Week" - Justin Zalkin
"I don't need postcards, all I need are his Jewsletters" - Claudia
Palmer
"Evan!!!" - Meredith Druss
"But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate...we cannot
consecrate...we cannot hallow...this... brave [man]" - Abraham
Lincoln
"'Evan Michals' may be two words but it means much more" - Brian
Meyers
"What a good, good guy" - Andrew Lebovich
"Who's Evan?" - Luz Lomeli
THANK YOU EVAN!
Until I come up with a better sign-off,
David Nachman
10.04.2006
It's the Jewsletter Lite!
Same information, only 1 gram of funny!
Week in Review:
Wednesday 10/4 Jews and Java
Thursday 10/5 Jew Crew
Friday 10/6 Shabbat w/ Kiddies
Sunday 10/8 Bagel Brunch
Monday 10/9 Meetings and Elections
****************************************
Shabbat w/ Kiddies!
Services at 6:30pm
Dinner at 7:30pm
Sarah Friedman (UVJC) is bringing several of the youngsters
from the Upper Valley to come
hang out with us and make us Challah.
Yay challah! and Kiddies.
*******************************************
Jew Crew!
Meeting and elections at 6pm
Go 10s Go!
******************************************
Monday Meetings and ELECTIONS!!!
Here's who has been nominated so far, the vote is at 6pm!
Keep those nominations coming!
House Manager
david nachman, rick berger, justin zalkin
Treasurer
andrew lebovich, bb lever, justin zalkin
Communications Chair
julia perlis, tanner tananbaum, rick berger, julia schwartz,
evan michals
Community Service Chair
lucy pollard, julia perlis, allison miller, joanna brooks,
manya sleeper, victoria fener, michelle schwartz
Israeli Affairs Coordinator
andrew lebovich, lior bassell, allison miller, victoria fener,
chase hogle
Cooking Coordinator (x2)
rachel gozman, sarah lawson, elyssa campbell
Representative to the Joint Planning and Building Committee
david nachman, boris vabson, arielle ring
Liaison to the Student Assembly
david nachman, josh jacobson, justin zalkin
Representative to the Board of the Foundation of Jewish Life
barie wien, boris vabson, michelle schwartz, evan michals
Intramural Sports Chair
bb lever, tanner tananbaum, rick berger, josh jacobson,
robert shames, andrew rand
Hopkins Center Representative
julia schwartz, arielle ring, evan michals
09.26.06
This week's theme: Jeremy is not funny and we need a
Communications VP.
In this Issue:
--Jews and Java
--AIPAC, American-Israel Public Affairs Committee, Representative
Dan Greenwald
--Jew Crew Meeting
--Shabbat Services and Dinner
--Yom Kippur
--NO MEETING NEXT WEEK
--Elections in 2 weeks
**************************
Jews and Java
Wednesday from 2:30-4:30pm
at the Dartmouth Bookstore
Dan Greenwald will be joining us from
4-4:45pm at the Bookstore to talk about
AIPAC. AIPAC, American-Israel Public Affairs Committee, is America's
premier lobbying organization designed to foster strong relations
between America and Israel. One of AIPAC's core missions is known as
the Campus Outreach Initiative, which targets student leaders at
campuses across the country and works to educate them on the
U.S.-Israel relationship. Dan Greenwald is the Senior National Field
Organizer for AIPAC's campus division. He is coming to campus to
brief members of the Dartmouth community about AIPAC and the current
status of the U.S.-Israel relationship.
***************************
First Jew Crew Meeting of the Term
Thursday @ 6pm @ the Roth Center
10s Only (Free Dinner)
****************************
Shabbat on Friday!
Services at 6:30pm
Home-Cooked Dinner at 7:30pm
****************************
Yom Kippur starts Sunday night.
Pre-Fast Dinner at 4:45pm at the Roth Center (RSVP to Claudia
Palmer)
Kol Nidre Service at 6pm at Rollins Chapel
******************************
NO MEETINGS NEXT MONDAY
(on account of Yom Kippur)
We will have elections the following week.
If you're funny, you should run for communications vp. Then you get
to write this every week.
Jewsletter
Aug 14, 2006
Sorry this is late...
you should never entrust your notes to a turtle. They're too slow. Find a
hare.
Wednesday: Jews and Java with Ben Rosenbleet, 2-4pm at the Dartmouth
Bookstore. There's free Starbucks! And if that's not enough to get you
down Main Street, go so you can watch Ben's techno-trance dance when his
cell phone goes off.
Learner's Service THIS FRIDAY (6:30pm)... Blitz Meredith Druss if you want
to come read a prayer, sing, dance, or otherwise share how you connect
with your Friday night. Current prayers that need readers are: shalom
aleychem, lecha dodi, ahavat olam/shema/v'ahavta/mi chamocha, veshamru,
amidah, alenu, adon olam. If you haven't read Hebrew since your bar
mitzvah, there are some English parts available too. Bring your friends!
Friday night dinner... is taken care of!! Extra bagels to Victoria and
Manya for offering to cook. Come eat at 7:30pm after the Learner's
Service.
Sunday: Manya and her friend are taking Upper Valley youth group kids to
Six Flags... Blitz Manya Sleeper if you want to go along... especially if
you can drive.
Also Sunday: bagel brunch at 1pm! Come stock up on bagels, schmear, and
schmoozing because you know once finals start, you're not going to have
time to eat real food and you won't want to schmooze with anything but
your books because you forgot to shower.
**CALLING ALL JUGAS***
We are currently accepting applications (don't worry, it's less intense
than Engines 3) for JUGAs (Jewish Undergraduate Advisors) for this fall.
Help welcome the '10s to Hillel!
This year's JUGA program has been completely revamped. It will include a
more personal relationship between JUGAs and jugees, which means we'll be
giving you the opportunity to come to events like the JUGA bagel brunch in
addition to JUGA bowling, JUGA dinners, and maybe even a movie or two.
We are asking you, as JUGAS, to make a commitment to your jugees, just in
terms of guiding them through some of the basics at Dartmouth (teach them
to play pong, maybe?), and so we're asking that all applicants be
committed to coming to two or three events.
If you want to be a JUGA please blitz short (1-2 sentences) answers to the
following questions to HILLEL by the end of the week (Sunday night)!
1) What is your experience with Hillel / Jewish life at Dartmouth?
2) What kind of things would you like to do with your JUGEES?
3) Will you be on campus during orientation?
4) Have you been a JUGA before?
5) What did you think of last years JUGA program?
**JEW OF THE WEEK**
Tie between:
* Dana Silberstein, who, when asked if she wanted to come to a BBQ and be
Jewish, replied, "no thanks, I have to write my essay about Jesus." (for a
religion class)
* Kevin Youkilis, who is apparently Jewish (because according to legend
all of my goys are the week are Red Sox players... so HA!)
**GOY OF THE WEEK**
Whoever invented the ring that's on Ben's cell phone. Seriously, you
haven't lived until you see Ben rocking out to a polyphonic ring tone.
**JEWISH JOKE OF THE WEEK**
Moshe wakes up one morning and says to his wife, Sadie:
"Aaarrrggghhh, Sadie! I've got a terrible pain on the left side of my
body....aaarrrggghhh....I think I must have appendicitis!"
Sadie sighs and says, "Don't be silly Moshe. You're appendix is on the
right side of your body!"
At which Moshe replies, "Well that's the problem! My appendix is on the
wrong side!"
Jewsletter
Aug 7, 2006
Soooooo.... this week, we took an unconventional approach to meetings.
Therefore, I feel fully entitled to take an unconventional approach to the
Jewsletter.
Introducing.... Jewish Bobble-Heads!!!*
(*Painfully random and no relation to anything whatsoever)
Manya says: "Bobble, bobble! i will blitz david's house and ask them about
weeding this week (for next week)."
Victoria says: "Bobble Bobble Bobble!"
(Talia Greenblatt, the shlicha from NH will be here for dinner Friday
night, come by!)
Meredith says: "Learner's service August 18! blitz me and I will teach you
how to bobble!"
Arielle says: "book club next tuesday at noon at the roth center. anybody
with any roth center concerns should blitz me by the end of next week
before the next jbpc meeting." (she's too classy to bobble)
Jordan, our lovely resident mathematician/treasurer, bobbles as she
proudly announces: "nothing quite new.. I gave [ben] my beautiful excel
spreadsheet budget tracker and we're working on getting everything set ---
there's going to be a new system for [when] you check out a credit card
when you return it, there'll be a little form to fill out with what you
spent it on and how much.. but that's still in the works." (she bobbles
too fast for correct grammar)
Tatyana is the most bobbly of them all, and she bobbles so fast as she
says "The bulletin board is up and it's interactive so everyone should
help out by putting stuff up (writing on the "wall for peace" some
"thoughts for peace") it's in between robo and collis : )" ...someone come
hold her head so it doesn't fall off!!
I say: "booobbbbbbbbbbbllee!! i don't know why we're bobbling"
If Ben were bobbling, he would ask you to come join him at the Dartmouth
bookstore on Wednesday for jews, java, and bobbling. (don't be
disappointed if there is no bobbling) .
Okay, in all seriousness...
* Jews and Java, 2-4pm Wednesday, Dartmouth Bookstore
* Shabbat Services and Dinner, featuring special guest Talia Greenblatt,
the NH shlicha. Services at 6:30, dinner to follow
>>Special Learner's Service August 18th; blitz Meredith Druss if you want
to help out
* Bagel Brunch, this Sunday as usual, Roth Center, 1 pm
* Monday nights: "In solidarity" -- TOY/Vigil for Gilad Shalit, Maxwell
105
BLITZ:
Meredith Druss about participating in Friday services
Arielle Ring about the building/etc. -- also about the book club
Laura Little about cooking for Friday dinners
Tatyana Liskovich if you want more info on the "board for peace"
Manya Sleeper to help out with David's House (community service)
Julia Schwartz if you want to know why on earth there was so much talk of
bobbling in this week's Jewsletter
**JEW OF THE WEEK**
All of you , for actually reading this much of a Jewsletter with this many
bobblehead references.
**GOY OF THE WEEK**
Nikolai Gogol, for penning the first known reference to bobbleheads. (In
1851, if you were wondering..)
**JEWISH JOKE OF THE WEEK**
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars
are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of
their cars and the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a
priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we
are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we
should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our
days." And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a
sign from God."
And the rabbi said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break,
surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. And
so he handed the bottle to the priest. The priest said he agreed, took a
few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi took the
bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the
priest. The priest asked, "aren't you going to have any?" And the rabbi
replied, "No . . . I think I'll just wait for the police."
...and this isn't actually funny, but we can add it as "Creepy Inaccurate
Story About Jews of the Week" :
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=26802
Jewsletter
7.31.06
_____WEDNESDAY_____
jEWs aNd jAVa ... come join the wizard in Oz for some fun!! I mean... come
join Ben in the Dartmouth Bookstore this Wednesday from 2-4pm! Same place,
same time, same Ben.. NEW YOU! Stop by and cool off with a delicious cold
drink.
_____FRIDAY_____
>> If you can help lead Shabbat services this week, please blitz Meredith
Druss.
>> If you can help cook dinner this week, please blitz Laura Little.
>> If you want to eat a delicious home-cooked meal, show up at the Roth
Center at 6:30pm Friday night for services and thereafter you will find
food waiting for you.
_____SUNDAY_____
Bagels, lox, no parents!! Party hardy at BAGEL BRUNCH this Sunday! 1pm (as
usual)... all the cool kids will be there.
Tooooooooooooooooobing! (a.k.a. 'tubing')
--> WHITE WATER TUBING THIS SUNDAY!
* after bagel brunch
* back by 5:00pm
* if you are interested, please blitz the account ASAP -- if there are no
responses, the trip will
be off, and oh how sad that would be....
_____IN SOLIDARITY_____
Monday night vigils in honor of Gilad Shalit continue Monday nights in
Maxwell 105 (9pm on). Join in to support Gilad and Israel in this time of
increasing conflict.
_____LEARNER'S SERVICE_____
Join us Friday, August 18th for a Learner's Service! Our dazzling
Religious VP, the one and only Meredith Druss, will be partitioning the
service into various parts; please let her know which is your favorite
part of the service that you'd love to help lead!
_____BOOK CLUB_____
Please remember to pick up your copy of "The Autograph Man" from Claudia's
office if you are participating in the book club. Start reading and get
ready for an amazing discussion (as always, accompanied by food). Blitz
Arielle Ring with any questions/concerns/wants/needs/desires.
_____LOOKING RIDICULOUSLY FAR AHEAD_____
The 10th anniversary of the Roth Center will be in 2008 and the
celebration will likely be during Spring term of that year. We're going to
need lots of students to help plan what will be an enormous event for
Hillel members and alums of the recent and not-so-recent past. If you have
any ideas of where to start or think you would like to be involved in
planning the party, blitz the Hillel account.
_____JEW OF THE WEEK_____
General "Jew of the Week" award to rabbis. They know how to behave. The
latest: Texas monks abusing boys. Oy vey.
_____GOY OF THE WEEK_____
1. Molly, our waitress tonight at Molly's (ironic, I know) because she
kept bringing the amazing bread. There may not be anything else in Hanover
that rivals hot Molly's bread.
2. David "Big Papi" Ortiz. Because I have the power to say so. And because
he might just be my hero. Seriously... his second homer of the night
tonight was a walk-off to clinch the win ... We're talking second
game-ender in three days. (without mentioning that he has the most HRs of
anyone in the majors) ... I know no one really cares. But again, I can say
what I want. Whether you read it or not is up to you!
_____JOKE OF THE WEEK_____
The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people." the Hebrew
teacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observed only
their 4695th. What does this mean to you?"
After a reflective pause, one student volunteered, "Well for one thing,
the Jews had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years.
Jewsletter
7.24.06
Mark the date...
Wednesday -- Jews and Java, 2-4pm, Dartmouth Bookstore... Same story but it never gets old.
* IM soccer game at 4:15pm... we need players! (Especially those of the female variety)...
as an added incentive, if you come to two games, you'll get one of the super
amazing Challah Back shirts for FREE! (it's a great bargain)
* we will be cooking SEAD dinner at 5:30pm. Is anyone free to help? Everyone is invited
to dinner (menu will be chicken fajitas, potatoes, salad, and fruit)
Friday -- Services 6:30pm, dinner 7:30pm. Please come!!
Sunday -- Bagel Brunch, 1pm. delicioussss.
Monday nights... TOY/Vigil for Gilad Shalit, Maxwell 105. Show your support, have some hookah, two for the price of one.
Sunday August 6 -- whitewater tubing (after Bagel Brunch... 1pm, naturally)
Friday August 11th -- Shliach Tayala Greenblat, the NH Israeli rep, will be here at night to talk about Israeli affairs
**this is a great chance to learn more about the current situation in the middle east!!
Miscellaneous Bits and Pieces...
The "Thoughts for Peace" bulletin board should be up by the end of the week (in front of Collis, in between the porch and Robo).
If you can/want to help with dinners at David's House, PLEASE blitz Manya Sleeper with when a good day for you to cook would be.
The books for our book club have been ordered and they are on their way. Get ready...
Rabbi has suggested a Dvar Torah or Israel discussion, perhaps with profs involved. Thoughts? blitz Hillel.
Jew of the Week ...
Ben Rosenbleet, for taking notes so that I could write this Jewsletter, but more importantly, for taking notes that were highly amusing. (it was really tempting to just copy them into this for all of your enjoyment, but hey, I have a job to do...)
Goy of the Week. ...
Improper Bostonian Magazine, who, in a review of Boston's Katz Bagel Bakery said, "Life's too short to eat those doughy things other bakeries have the effrontery to call bagels."
Jewish Joke (slash funny story) of the Week...
You know you are am American Jewish baby boomer if...
- Thinking of most of your aunts and uncles give you less of a warm feeling than the feeling you have for most of their maids.
- No matter what catastrophic event happens, you scan the victim names for Jewish names.
- Regardless of how much you deny it, you are solidly ethnocentric.
- Your immensely intelligent reason for not believing that Jesus is the Messiah is that you were told not to believe in him.
- Every Sunday morning was spent with your father at the neighborhood deli.
- Your parents had a high respect for all laws, except child labor laws, because at 9 years old, you could be trusted and
were brighter than "outsiders".
- You thought pasta was the stuff used exclusively for kugel and kasha.
- Clear plastic was invented for the furniture in the one room of the house, which was not for living, ironically called the living room.
- Going to Hebrew school left you with an impressive ability to read a massive amount of Hebrew and to be able to
translate little except Adonai which was not actually written.
- No matter what else you get in New York, "real" bagels share an honored place in your luggage.
- You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.
- You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't
exactly know what they mean. Kinahurra.
That's all from me... over and out.
Jewsletter
7.17.06
Ladies and
gentlemen... live from Hanover... it's the JEWSLETTER!!
**WEEKLY EVENTS**
Wednesday -- Jews and Java. Ben Rosenbleet. Dartmouth Bookstore. 2-4pm
Come by for some quality schmoozing!!
Thursday -- First weekly Thursday event!! -->> VERMONSTERS!
... Ben and Jerry's, of course. 8pm.
Friday -- Wait, wait, wait... it'll come to me... OH RIGHT! Shabbos!
6:30pm -- Services
7:30pm -- Home-cooked Dinner (brought to you courtesy of Jordan's friend
Ying!)
>> Blitz Meredith Druss if you want to help out.
Sunday -- Bagel brunch. All your favorite bagels, maybe some of your
favorite people. 1pm.
**ONCE IN A LIFETIME**
Wednesday (7/19) -- IM SOCCER! Our first game is versus Tri-Delt... show
up, we might have a chance to win
(if we don't have to forfeit cause no one has showed up... yes, sense the
Jewish guilt being
sent your way...) ... 4:15pm, Sachem Field
ANYONE CAN PLAY! No skill required!
Blitz Idan Ariel to organize getting there... especially if you have a car
and can drive.
Thursday (7/20) -- Lunch with our last interview candidate. Jeremy can't
go, so please stop in around noon to get to
know him. Blitz Claudia Palmer with your request for food (catered,
naturally).
Saturday (7/22) -- Havdallah at Moosilauke ... come celebrate Havdallah
the wilderness way!
Leaving from the Roth Center at 5:30pm, followed by dinner at the lodge.
**Special return detour: Fat Bob's Purple Cow ice cream (nice and cheap
for our Jewish wallets)
Saturday (7/22) -- Family Fun Day at David's House
Help weed, cook, and serve dinner to the families at David's House.
Blitz Manya Sleeper if you can help.
Sunday (7/23) -- Hillel Annual Golf Outing ... probably 2-3ish in the
afternoon; blitz Ben Rosenbleet about what time
works for you!
Next Wednesday (7/26) -- SEAD Dinner at Hillel ... organized by the one
and only Tatyana Liskovich
Blitz her if you can help cook/serve/entertain/etc.
Many Sundays away (8/5) -- Whitewater tubing! I don't actually get the
allure, but I also don't like getting wet. It's probably
fun... at least that's what they say...
Friday, August 18th -- Learner's Service! Blitz Meredith Druss if you want
to get involved (reading a prayer, giving a speech, etc. etc.)
**ISRAEL NEWS**
Tonight, 9pm -- Vigil/TOY to pray for Gilad Shalit... Maxwell 105 ...
Mondays until Gilad returns.
Josh has lots of good ideas...
* visit www.standwithus.com or www.standwithuscampus.com to learn about an
Israel advocacy movement
* August 7th -- Talia will be coming to speak about current events in
Israel. Monday at 7pm (after meetings)
* the East Coast coordinator for an Israel movement will be in the area
August 8-20th; blitz Victoria Fener with ideas
* UVM Visions might be able to team up with us for an event
* Josh will be standing on the Ledyard Bridge tomorrow with signs
promoting peace... join if you like!
We are going to try to plan a BIG event to raise awareness about the
current state of affairs in Israel. Manya has volunteered to head up this
large-scale event with help from Victoria and Ben... PLEASE blitz the
Hillel account or any of these people if you can help out!
The board outside of Collis (our "wall for peace") should be ready soon...
once it is open from being sealed shut when they repainted it... We'll
have colored notecards upon which people can write their prayers/wishes
for peace (related to the Middle East or not).
**MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION**
Blitz our fantastic Treasurer, Jordan Zastrow, with your requests for next
Monday's dinner... probably Indian, but blitz with specific dish requests!
Current ideas for more Thursday-Fun-Day events: mini-golfing,
berry-picking, drive-in movie, bowling, ice skating, rollerskating...
Blitz the account with your ideas/opinions/sentiments/outcries!
**JEW OF THE WEEK**
Brian Meyers, for leaving the AC of Buchanan to come roast in the library
with us!
**GOY OF THE WEEK**
Paris Hilton, for decrying "skinny girls" as "gross" ... you may or may
not be able to sense my sarcasm here.
**JOKE OF THE WEEK**
NASA had sent many many shuttles into space to orbit the earth and made an
attempt to include passengers of all races and creeds...they realized
suddenly that they had excluded the clergy...so they invited a priest, a
rabbi and a minister to orbit the earth in a shuttle.
Upon their return, crowds of people formed to hear their impressions.
First the priest emerged, beaming and happy, his statement full of joy.
He said, "It was totally amazing, I saw the sun rise and set, I saw the
beautiful oceans."
Then the minister came out, also happy and at peace. He said, "I saw the
magnificent earth, our home, I saw the majestic sun. I'm truly in awe."
Then the rabbi appeared. He was completely disheveled, his beard tangled
flowing in every direction, his kipah was frayed, his tallit was wrinkled,
like you can't imagine. They asked him, "Rabbi, did you enjoy the flight?"
He threw his hands up in the air crazily and replied, "ENJOY??? What was
to enjoy??
Oy, oy, oy! Every five minutes the sun was rising and setting! On with the
t'fillin, off with t'fillin, mincha, ma'ariv, mincha, ma'ariv!... GEVALT!!!!"
Jewsletter
7.10.06
**THE BASICS**
Wednesday: Jews and Java. The Dartmouth Bookstore. Ben Rosenbleet.
Starbucks. You. (2-4pm)
Friday: 6:30pm Shabbat Services (please come!!) ... Blitz Meredith
Druss if you can help lead the service, it's easy and fun!!
7:30pm Amazing, supercalifragilistic home-cooked meal. (That is, if
someone will help
Tatyana cook, because apparently she can't... blitz Laura Little to
help out. )
Sunday: The return of the one and only BAGEL BRUNCH!! Bagels bagels
bagels, and probably some more bagels. (1pm)
Oooh... live vote... which is better? -- Jews and Java, or Bagel
Brunch?
Winner gets a free frappucino on Wednesday and a free bagel with
schmear on Sunday.
Monday (maybe): For the past two weeks, 19-year old Gilad Shalit has
been held captive by Palestinian terrorists.
No one has heard from him. In solidarity with Gilad, his family, and
all of the innocent civilians, come
show your support Additional rallies are being organized around the
globe--from New York to Paris
to Buenos Aires. Hookah, food, music, letter-writing, education, and
discussions of Israel and Judaism
with your friends, rabbis, and professors.Let Gilad know that he
will never be alone. (Maxwell 105, 9pm)
*continuing until Gilad comes home
*sponsored by Hillel and Chabad
**ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR INTERVIEWS**
Help in the search to find our new associate director!! Free lunch
is provided with each. Please blitz Claudia Palmer if you are
coming.
Wednesday, July 12th, noon Michael Cooper
Thursday, July 13th, noon Laurie Levin
**UPCOMING EVENTS**
Tuesday, July 19th IM soccer game... come prove that Jews CAN play
sports!
Saturday, July 22nd Havdallah at Moosilauke!!
We'll leave Hanover at 5:30pm, have dinner up there at 6:30, and be
back by 9:30
(The food and the vistas without sleeping in the cabins.... nice.)
Tuesday, July 26th SEAD dinner -- probably 60-70 people
Blitz if you want to help cook or if you have creative ideas for
easy and kosher food that isn't
bbq or pizza.
Sunday, July 16th or 23rd Hillel Golf Outing ... someone should
bring Ben a shirt cause apparently he
doesn't ever see polos around Hanover.
**blitz Ben Rosenbleet to RSVP (and mention which date is better for
you)
Sunday, August 6th White River Tubing after Bagel Brunch
(please digest before you get tossed around too much, though..)
TBA (weekly schedule to be established):
David's House
Blitz Manya Sleeper to join in on a great activity.
Book Club!! Arielle's in charge now... she will blitz out about
getting books, etc. One discussion
to follow (with food, naturally, and maybe we'll even tell you what
it is ahead of time).
**JEW OF THE WEEK**
Yardena, for organizing a great rally in support of Gilad Shalit
**GOY OF THE WEEK**
Astronaut Piers Sellers, for suggesting that a backpack that broke
during a spacewalk be repaired using duct tape.
**JOKE OF THE WEEK**
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and
every year Morris would say, "Esther, I 'd like to ride in that
helicopter".
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is
fifty dollars -- and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
"Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might
never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is fifty dollars -- and
fifty dollars is fifty dollars".
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a
deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet
for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if
you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds
of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil
tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed,
the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I
could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said
something when Esther fell out, but you know -- fifty dollars is
fifty dollars."
That's all from me. (oh, and pretend you got this last night, sorry
about that..)
--Julia "I still need a good pen name so blitz me if you have ideas"
Schwartz
Jewsletter
7.03.06
--WEEKLY OCCURRENCES--
*Jews and Java... this is why they invented blended creme drinks, my
friends... Wednesday 2-4pm at the Dartmouth Bookstore, as always,
with the fantastic Ben Rosenbleet *director of programming*
*Challah braiding: Thursday at noon ... DELICIOUS (Blitz Jordan
Zastrow)
*Friday night services (6:30pm) and home-cooked dinner (7:30pm) ...
blitz Meredith Druss if you can help with the service, and Laura
Little if you can help cook.
*Bagel brunch: bagels, schmoozing, cream cheese, bad movies, and
maybe some lox... what can jews do better?
--SPECIAL EVENTS/PROGRAMS--
**HAS HE COME YET? THE MESSIANIC CONFLICT BETWEEN JUDAISM AND
CHRISTIANITY
An informal dialogue between Rev. Sigfried Virgils, Church of
the Rhineland (Germany) and Rabbi Alan Fuchs, Central Conference of
American Rabbis (Hanover, NH)
Wednesday, July 12, 4pm
1930s Room, Rockefeller Center
Everyone is welcome
**The Office of Religious and Spiritual Life would like to inform
you about an event planned for this summer. Chaplain Richard Crocker
will be leading 10 students on a multi-faith retreat. This will take
place in southern New Hampshire on July 28th-July 30th, 2006. We are
seeking students of different faiths to spend this weekend together
in multi-faith conversation. We look forward to this wonderful
experience where students unite through their faiths and learn more
about themselves and each other. If you are interested in
participating on this retreat please contact the Office of Religious
and Spiritual Life at the Tucker Foundation and we can send you more
information.
**UN Watch is now accepting applications for a one-year Fellowship
which will begin on September 1, 2006. The Fellowship is a unique
opportunity in Geneva, Switzerland for recent graduates of college
or graduate school who are interested in monitoring the United
Nations, promoting human rights, and combating anti-Semitism. The
application form and further information are available here: http://www.unwatch.org/site/c.bdKKISNqEmG/b.1320701/k.61F9/Employment__Internships.htm
--LOOKING AHEAD--
July 12th: Jewish Studies Dept. program on the Messiah
July 22nd: Havdallah in the woods (at Moosilauke)
Book club: we are going to be reading "The Autograph Man" ... blitz
Tatyana Liskovich to get involved
July 28-30: Tucker foundation multifaith retreat ... if your parents
don't love you and aren't coming to visit,
you should go with this group cause i'm sure there's enough love
there to go around
...and introducing FUN NIGHT THURSDAY!!! (better name TBA)
some ideas to start off with...
- drive-in movie
- Vermonster (perhaps two , one for the germ phobes and one
for the normal people)
- putt-putt golf with pizza ... Monday nights, somewhere in
Burlington - all you can eat/golf
- bowling
- berry picking
- Red Sox game **IF ANYONE HAS AN IN TO GET TICKETS, BLITZ
THE HILLEL ACCT**
--GOALS-- (hey, idealism's always welcome)
Laura, cooking coordinator: make different, summery food for Friday
dinners
- Challah cooking, cause the Pavilion challah is a true
tragedy ... Braiding on Thursday (see above)
- increase visibility on campus... food events never get old
- maybe host an Iron Chef competition?
Idan, IM Sports chair:
pay mortgage on house
- Blitz Idan if you want to participate on any of our sports
teams -- softball, volleyball, and soccer
(probably won't win any medals seeing as Jews and sports
realllllyy don't mix, but it'll be a fun time)
Daniel, House Man: use the Roth Center more as a place to hang out, put on events, etc.
Jordan, Treasurer: good
food for meetings
- look at the budget and try to make it more efficient --
figure out where we are spending our
money and if it's for good causes
- evaluate programming
- try to get more people driver certified so we can rent
Tucker vans to go on trips instead of renting buses
Victoria, Israeli
Affairs: big program for the fall related to Israel (fall = more
people here = bigger event, and
apparently bigger is better,... or so they say)
- reinstitute TOY, perhaps on the Green (greater visibility)
... we've got the bonfire in the fall and
the snow sculpture in the winter... perhaps we can start a
tradition of a hookah in summer? i wonder
if the college PR would go for that...
- maybe involve other group