And now... the only band in the Ivy League that thinks it would rather go to the Bermuda Triangle than the Harvard Square, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!!!

Good afternoon everybody! The DCMB is very excited to be back at Harvard again this year. Well actually, we’re lying. Life at Harvard seems to be just as exciting as watching paint dry. Ok, ok... we take that back... watching paint dry is much more exciting. Anyway, it seems that this year, Yale replaced Harvard as #1 in US News & World Report’s annual college ranking. Oh no, what are Harvard students going to do now? First they had to tell their parents that they have no social lives, and now this! I am sure that Mommy and Daddy will not be happy! The DCMB would like to salute all the Harvard Mommies and Daddies here for Parents’ Weekend by playing your school song, “The 10,000 Men of Harvard (Who Wished They’d Gone To Dartmouth)”...

Please rise as Student Conductor Karen "Way Back" Wenner leads the Band in the playing of the Dartmouth College Alma Mater...

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks... the Dartmouth College Marching Band!!!

Put the costumes and candy away, folks - Halloween ‘96 is now a memory. Wait! It seems that several guys sitting over there in the Harvard student section don’t realize that Halloween is over, and are still wearing their costumes. Don’t you see them? They’re the ones dressed as nerds. Oh wait... I don’t think those are costumes! So what have people been wearing this year? Several Harvard students were seen dressing up as professors... there just don’t seem to be any of them around here, you know? And get this... just the other day, we heard the Harvard Band was wearing green blazers around campus, trying to pass for a marching band with talent! Nice try, guys! But even on Halloween you don’t stand a ghost of a chance!

Watch now as the Band forms a ghost for Halloween and plays the theme from.. what else? “Ghostbusters”

November 5th is only a few days away, and you know what that means - it's almost Election Day! Do you know who you're voting for come this Tuesday? Who do you think will be our President for the next 4 years? Will Bubba Clinton win re-election, or will the Republicans and Great-Grandpa Dole take over the White House? Or might Ross Perot defy all odds and pull off an even bigger shocker than the Harvard football team actually having a winning season? Crimson faithful are just waiting for the day when Harvard alum and Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy will throw his hat into the ring and run for President. as well. But then, who would be First Lady? Or Second or Third for that matter?!?

Watch now as the Band forms Bob Dole’s head (or a pineapple - whichever you prefer) and plays a song that’s sure to be elected again and again, Hawaii 5-0!

Harvard. Home of the famous "John Harvard" statue, appropriately nicknamed "The Statue of the Three Lies". You see, the "John Harvard" statue isn't really of John Harvard. It also incorrectly identifies him as the founder of Harvard. And finally, the statue gives the wrong dates for his life. You'd think the Harvard adminstration would want to do away with this embarrassing statue... but I guess they figure, "We've already got a school of 10,000 mistakes... 3 more couldn't possibly hurt."

The DCMB, however, has come up with the Top Ten Things To Do With The John Harvard Statue...

#10 - Turn it into a kissing booth

#9 - Enter it as a late entry for the upcoming Presidential election -- we hear he's a bit looser than Dole

#8 - Melt it down to make matchbox cars

#7 - Chop off its head... bowling, anyone?

#6 - Talk to it after downing a few beers and see if it talks back

#5 - Throw it into Boston Harbor with all the rest of the junk

#4 - Put it in as starting quartback for the Harvard football team -- maybe they'd actually have a chance to win

#3 - Invite it to a party at Harvard -- he's bound to be the most social one there

#2 - Dress it up as a Harvard student, then call it the "Statue of the 4 mistakes

and the number one thing to do with the "John Harvard" Statue

Paint it Dartmouth Green!

Watch now as the Band forms a “Y” as in “Why would anyone want to go Harvard?” and plays Y-M-C-A...

The DCMB would like to thank all the Dartmouth faithful for attending today’s game. Enjoy the second half, everybody! Be sure to check us out back home in Hanover next week as the Big Green host Columbia University.

And now... the only band in the Ivy League that thinks it would rather go to the Bermuda Triangle than the Harvard Square, the Dartmouth College Marching Band!!!

Good afternoon everybody! The DCMB is very excited to be back at Harvard again this year. Well actually, we’re lying. Life at Harvard seems to be just as exciting as watching paint dry. Ok, ok... we take that back... watching paint dry is much more exciting. Anyway, it seems that this year, Yale replaced Harvard as #1 in US News & World Report’s annual college ranking. Oh no, what are Harvard students going to do now? First they had to tell their parents that they have no social lives, and now this! I am sure that Mommy and Daddy will not be happy! The DCMB would like to salute all the Harvard Mommies and Daddies here for Parents’ Weekend... don't you wish your sons and daughters went to Dartmouth?

Please rise as Student Conductor Karen "Way Back" Wenner leads the Band in the playing of the Dartmouth College Alma Mater...

And now, the only band in the Ivy League that thinks... the Dartmouth College Marching Band!!!

Put the costumes and candy away, folks - Halloween ‘96 is now a memory. Wait! It seems that several guys sitting over there in the Harvard student section don’t realize that Halloween is over, and are still wearing their costumes. Don’t you see them? They’re the ones dressed as nerds. Oh wait... I don’t think those are costumes! So what have people been wearing this year? Several Harvard students were seen dressing up as professors... there just don’t seem to be any of them around here, you know? And get this... just the other day, we heard the Harvard Band was wearing green blazers around campus, trying to pass for a marching band with talent! Nice try, guys! But even on Halloween you don’t stand a ghost of a chance!

Watch now as the Band forms a Dartmouth student's favorite Trick-or-Treat and plays "Miller Time"...

November 5th is only a few days away, and you know what that means - it's almost Election Day! Do you know who you're voting for come this Tuesday? Who do you think will be our President for the next 4 years? Will Bubba Clinton win re-election, or will the Republicans and Great-Grandpa Dole take over the White House? Or might Ross Perot defy all odds and pull off an even bigger shocker than the Harvard football team actually having a winning season? Crimson faithful are just waiting for the day when Harvard alum and Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy will throw his hat into the ring and run for President as well. But would he be able to devote enough time to the job if he won? Uncle Teddy seems to always have his hands busy doing something else, if you know what we mean...

Watch now as the Band forms Whitewater and plays "How the Presidency Was Won"...

Harvard. Home of the famous "John Harvard" statue, appropriately nicknamed "The Statue of the Three Mistakes". You see, the "John Harvard" statue isn't really of John Harvard. It also incorrectly identifies him as the founder of Harvard. And finally, the statue gives the wrong date for the founding of the school. You'd think the Harvard adminstration would want to do away with this embarrassing statue... but I guess they figure, "We've already got a school of 10,000 mistakes... 3 more couldn't possibly hurt."

The DCMB, however, has come up with the Top Ten Things To Do With The John Harvard Statue...

#10 - Turn it into a kissing booth

#9 - Enter it as a late entry for the upcoming Presidential election -- we hear he's a bit looser than Dole

#8 - Melt it down to make matchbox cars

#7 - Chop off its head... bowling, anyone?

#6 - Talk to it after downing a few beers and see if it talks back

#5 - Throw it into Boston Harbor with all the rest of the junk

#4 - Put it in as starting quartback for the Harvard football team -- maybe they'd actually have a chance to win

#3 - Invite it to a party at Harvard -- he's bound to be the most social one there

#2 - Dress it up as a Harvard student, then call it the "Statue of the 4 mistakes

and the number one thing to do with the "John Harvard" Statue

Paint it Dartmouth Green!

Watch now as the Band forms a “Y” as in “Why would anyone want to go Harvard?” and plays Y-M-C-A...

The DCMB would like to thank all the Dartmouth faithful for attending today's game. Enjoy the second half, everybody! Be sure to check us out back home in Hanover next week as the Big Green host Columbia University.